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Today's winners were pretty much annoyances, since no one got me seeing red or wanting to go bawl in the back room. So I consider myself lucky. And really, it was only two women that stand out.
Wallet? What's That?
After discovering that she couldn't find a check she'd brought to pay with anywhere on her person, this lady decided to pay in cash. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except that she appeared to have wadded up cash and loose change everywhere except in the wallet in her purse, which (if memory serves) didn't even contain any credit/debit cards. Nor did it contain her missing check. She eventually found enough cash for her purchase stuffed into two different pockets in her pants, tucked in three different places in her purse, and rattling around loose (coinage) at the bottom of the large handbag.
I then had to unfold all these wadded up bills.
This Will Be the Divider/I Want Heavy Stuff on Bottom
The lady immediately following gave me a double dose of wanting to throw peanuts at her head.
First, she loaded her things onto the belt with absolutely no space between her load and Wallet Lady's. Instead, she loudly proclaimed that a package of napkins would be the divider. Apparently she was so intent on getting all of her things on the belt ASAP (despite the belt constantly moving as I scanned stuff) that she couldn't be bothered to leave a gap between the two purchases. And then she went and put stuff in front of the napkins anyway.
Second, she unloaded all of her soft goods (napkins, bread, chips, etc.) onto the belt first, so that they'd be bagged first, and put all of her 2-liter juice bottles and 12-packs of water at the end of the belt (where they'd be bagged last). So I filled all six bags on the bagging carousel first with mostly soft stuff, as well as having a few more items on top of the carousel (there's a flat space that you can set things on). The lady just had to have all the heavy stuff on bottom of her cart, though, and insisted on coming around behind my till where I was working to grab the bags away as I bagged them with juice. I had to ask her twice, the second time sternly, before she stayed on her side of the carousel and let me turn it for her. ::makes strangling motions:: If you want heavy stuff on bottom, put it on the belt first!
Other Peeves
- People who don't seem to grasp the fact that the belt will stop before stuff spills across the register, and keep picking it up and moving it back (and wondering why the belt keeps moving--because you're not letting merchandise block the sensor!). Related to these folks are the ones who'll put their arm in front of their load and forcibly drag it back along the belt to keep it from rolling across the scanner or to keep me from touching it. Also related are the people who will just stand there with their arm obviously blocking the load, even when I scan the last item of the previous order and tell the previous customer the total, and will then look at me with a dead serious expression and say, "This is separate!" as though I'm going to snatch it and scan it the moment they let go. ::deadpan look:: Thank you. It wasn't obvious from your arm blocking the belt that it was your stuff. I thought you just broke your shoulder or something.
- People who insist on reaching across the counter and grabbing one of the bags from right next to me to keep me from adding anything else to it...instead of just asking me not to put anything else in the bag. And when I stop them mid-grab and explain this, they say, "Okay," and then grab the bag anyway.
- People who will get in line after I've shut off my light so I can go home, and then look horribly inconvenienced and angry at me when I explain that I'm closed. It's not my fault you didn't bother to look at the light before hopping in line, folks! Stop with the glares already! Flouncing angrily to the next open register won't make me apologize and summon you back for checkout!
/vent
Wallet? What's That?
After discovering that she couldn't find a check she'd brought to pay with anywhere on her person, this lady decided to pay in cash. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except that she appeared to have wadded up cash and loose change everywhere except in the wallet in her purse, which (if memory serves) didn't even contain any credit/debit cards. Nor did it contain her missing check. She eventually found enough cash for her purchase stuffed into two different pockets in her pants, tucked in three different places in her purse, and rattling around loose (coinage) at the bottom of the large handbag.
I then had to unfold all these wadded up bills.This Will Be the Divider/I Want Heavy Stuff on Bottom
The lady immediately following gave me a double dose of wanting to throw peanuts at her head.
First, she loaded her things onto the belt with absolutely no space between her load and Wallet Lady's. Instead, she loudly proclaimed that a package of napkins would be the divider. Apparently she was so intent on getting all of her things on the belt ASAP (despite the belt constantly moving as I scanned stuff) that she couldn't be bothered to leave a gap between the two purchases. And then she went and put stuff in front of the napkins anyway.
Second, she unloaded all of her soft goods (napkins, bread, chips, etc.) onto the belt first, so that they'd be bagged first, and put all of her 2-liter juice bottles and 12-packs of water at the end of the belt (where they'd be bagged last). So I filled all six bags on the bagging carousel first with mostly soft stuff, as well as having a few more items on top of the carousel (there's a flat space that you can set things on). The lady just had to have all the heavy stuff on bottom of her cart, though, and insisted on coming around behind my till where I was working to grab the bags away as I bagged them with juice. I had to ask her twice, the second time sternly, before she stayed on her side of the carousel and let me turn it for her. ::makes strangling motions:: If you want heavy stuff on bottom, put it on the belt first!
Other Peeves
- People who don't seem to grasp the fact that the belt will stop before stuff spills across the register, and keep picking it up and moving it back (and wondering why the belt keeps moving--because you're not letting merchandise block the sensor!). Related to these folks are the ones who'll put their arm in front of their load and forcibly drag it back along the belt to keep it from rolling across the scanner or to keep me from touching it. Also related are the people who will just stand there with their arm obviously blocking the load, even when I scan the last item of the previous order and tell the previous customer the total, and will then look at me with a dead serious expression and say, "This is separate!" as though I'm going to snatch it and scan it the moment they let go. ::deadpan look:: Thank you. It wasn't obvious from your arm blocking the belt that it was your stuff. I thought you just broke your shoulder or something.
- People who insist on reaching across the counter and grabbing one of the bags from right next to me to keep me from adding anything else to it...instead of just asking me not to put anything else in the bag. And when I stop them mid-grab and explain this, they say, "Okay," and then grab the bag anyway.
- People who will get in line after I've shut off my light so I can go home, and then look horribly inconvenienced and angry at me when I explain that I'm closed. It's not my fault you didn't bother to look at the light before hopping in line, folks! Stop with the glares already! Flouncing angrily to the next open register won't make me apologize and summon you back for checkout!
/vent
It makes me laugh just thinking about that, i'm surprised you can compose yourself enough not to burst out in fits of laughter at them! 
I know CS doesn't condone violence towards customers, but I've often had happy daydreams of throwing every divider on my till at the heads of people who do this. It's not hard to pick up a divider and use it to divide your shopping so that I can see clearly which is yours and which isn't yours.
, I would turn the belt off or set something from their order in front of the sensors (a laser and a reciever, if memory serves) until I was ready to start that customer's order.
, I would put my finger over the sensor, which caused the belt to stop, until they let go of their merchandise. (Very easy to do unnoticed since standing behind the keyboard put the end of the belt directly under my right arm where my hand would naturally fall if placing it on the counter.) I'd then move my finger causing the belt to move again and the customer madly dive to stop their Charmin from being eaten by the big, bad belt. When they caught it, I'd cover the sensor again... well, you get the idea. Some customers caught on and thought it was funny, while the ones muddying up the gene pool got all confused. I had many 
over that.
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