if you cant afford it, you cant have it

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: yea Dave, I want a three bedroom oceanfront but was hoping you could do better on the price

Me: well we do have a 30% off special right now

Guest: yea I was hoping for more

Me: I cant take off more than 30% but I do have properties off the beach

Guest: no I wont take less than the best

Me: well this is your price

Guest: dont you have some kind of special provision for people who want to be oceanfront but cant afford it?

Me: no sir

Guest: well that stinks

Me: sorry sir

Guest: So I guess only the rich snobby people get to be oceanfront....thats not fair....I would think your company could help us out....it's my little girl's birthday that week

Me: 30% discount is the max discount

Guest: so thats your final answer then?

Me: yes sir

The bastard called latwr that day and said I told him I would contact the owner to see if he could get a better rate...I cant stand people who lie on my name

[edible_hat]

Guest: dont you have some kind of special provision for people who want to be oceanfront but cant afford it?

For ten bucks I'll provide a cat litter box and block up the toilet so it overflows...

[Argabarga]

For ten bucks I'll provide a cat litter box and block up the toilet so it overflows...

That was golden

Disgusting

But golden

[One-Fang]

"Dont you have some kind of special provision for people who want to be oceanfront but cant afford it?"

Honestly. The mind just ... BOGGLES.

I want an oceanfront holiday too. I can't afford it either. You know what? I'm not getting one. That's life.

[xaenon]

Guest: dont you have some kind of special provision for people who want to be oceanfront but cant afford it?

Oh, I just GOTTA try that one at the Ferrari dealership....

[MoonChild2007]

Guest: So I guess only the rich snobby people get to be oceanfront....thats not fair....I would think your company could help us out....it's my little girl's birthday that week

Your daughter will have 50+ more birthdays, why is her birthday that special that you deserve special treatment?

I am sick of people who always use other people or play the "cancer, disabled" card just to get what they want.

[Crazeyal]

Or you could sit outside on the furniture after it rains!!

[MTNLaurelPoacher]

Yes, I have a special deal. Its called the "SAVE UP" plan.

I am sure your not familiar with this plan. Instead of begging for discounts, or dumping this all on a credit card, go to the bank open up a small savings account and put some money into it, then add more money later when you can spare it. By the time next year rolls around you may have enough to afford one of our beach houses AND an ice cream cone This plan also works with a shoe box or an envelope, but it is less secure.

We also have a plan B. Its called "DO WITH LESS". Ok, 3 bedrooms is too expensive. Get a 2 bedroom place and put the kid on the couch, or on an air mattress on the floor. (please do not exceed the occupancy rate with this plan).

We also offer this nice little plan C. Its called walk or drive. So, you want to take your kiddleywink to the beach for her birthday. Why do you need beach front? Are you just going to look at the beach from the air conditioned glory of our beach rental while watching the same tv shows you would have if you were back at your own dwelling? If you really want to spend time on the beach, just get close. Then either walk or drive to the beach and start beaching it! Look at the view! Wow... it's like you are on the beach... no wait... you are!

So you can get your kid to the beach, just not with that unit. Please try again.

[jerkface11]

You can stay there for free. First get the 30% discount. Then call management and tell them that your daughter sat on wet furniture, Dave wouldn't take out your trash ,or bring you breakfast in bed, he stole your teddy bear, and you're giving yourself a discount. This should get you anywhere from 85% to 110% off.

All credit for this post belongs to Ironclad Alibi

[Ironclad Alibi]

You can stay there for free. First get the 30% discount. Then call management and tell them that your daughter sat on wet furniture, Dave wouldn't take out your trash ,or bring you breakfast in bed, he stole your teddy bear, and you're giving yourself a discount. This should get you anywhere from 85% to 110% off.

You stole my line!

[jerkface11]

OMG I'm a dirty plagiarist. I must have read your post at the time and filed it away.

[Ironclad Alibi]

OMG I'm a dirty plagiarist. I must have read your post at the time and filed it away.

It's OK. I happy to know I have a disciple on the board.