Customers and their yelling kids

[RecoveringKinkoid]

It's okay, Jester, I won't come after you! I see your point, and to a point, I agree. However, I know that I am too easily distracted and too poor at multitasking my attention to keep a toddler as safe as I'd like in a public place crowded with strangers I don't trust. I need a leash so I don't lose my kid.

Overprotective? Oh, yeah, you bet. But you do what you have to do.

[Jester]

Well, it's not quite as simple as it seems. CPS does have to follow criteria.
A child doesn't usually get taken away simply on their word that "Mommy hit me."

The questions they ask have usually been determined by a team of psychologists and child experts, and they watch a child's body language, how they interact with their family, whether they have a medical history of ER visits for "accidents", or whether teachers have noticed unusual bruising that the child has trouble explaining, or tries to hide.

That is the way it is supposed to work, and in many places, that is the way that it actually does work. But sadly, there are places where it does not work even close to that. Florida is notorious for having a horribly bad CPS (or whatever it is called here) department. Not only for overreacting, but for the treatment of children supposedly under their care or that of foster parents, up to and including losing children. Not a child. Children. They have actually misplaced or completely lost a number of children. And while some of the stories about this kind of stuff is that of urban legend, in Florida, not so much....unless you define urban legend as stories you find in the Miami Herald and the Tampa Tribune.

Overprotective? Oh, yeah, you bet. But you do what you have to do.

Heheheh...Though I am not a parent, I like to think I would not be that overprotective of small children. Notice I say small children. Two of my three teenage nieces live right around the corner from me (the third is back in Phoenix) and there are times they are not all that thrilled with my overprotectiveness of them when it comes to dating. It is not that I think they are too young to date--personally I think that trying to keep kids from doing something as natural as seeing or hanging out with someone they are interested in just causes trouble. [See also Catholic schools.] But I have a rule that I am enforcing--to wit, any guy they get involved with, I have to meet in person. This allows me to (a) assess the kind of guy he is, (b) put the fear of several gods in the boys, and (c) decide whether or not I am going to use their innards as bait on my next fishing trip.

Smartest response to me yet was from my eldest niece's prom date.
ME: "I'm her Uncle Jester, and I'm here to threaten your life."
HIM: "Pleased to meet you, sir." Smart kid.

I always said if I had any daughters they would hate me when they were dating age!

[CrankyPants]

I had one the other day that needed to go to a trip back to the car for a "discussion", and the parents just let him be a brat. It was a 2 year old, standing in the cart, literally screaming at people. Not crying, just screeching at the top of his lungs. Figures, it has to be his mom's prescription that the doctor screwed up on and we were delayed getting it done by having to call and get it fixed. I could hear him from every corner of the store the entire time.

My god, I would be so embarrassed if my child was doing that. There's no way I'd let him go on like that.

I only ever had one rule for my son: "you're good, or you're dead."

The one and only time he ever threw a tantrum was in a supermarket (he was about 2 yrs old). I was on welfare at the time and money was very tight. It was a major production just to work out how far I could stretch the food bill that week.

This particular time, things weren't going well and I was stressed out and he started on me. I ignored him for a bit and quietly had a go at him, but to no avail. The wailing really started and I said, "fine." And walked away. He continued screaming and yelling for a few minutes. By this time I was 3 or 4 aisles away and a couple of old ladies were talking about some kid on his own and they wondered where the mother was.

I kept shopping and then he went quiet. A few seconds later I heard these racing footsteps and he flung himself at my legs crying and hiccupping. I put him in the trolley and in a low menacing voice I said, "you EVER do that again, you little shit, and I'll kill you."

He sniffled for a while and when I left I put him in the pram and he fell asleep. He never threw a tantrum again. But I've always been strict but fair. I don't take crap from kids, not mine and not anybody else's. I don't give a rat's who the parents are.

[LostMyMind]

Florida is notorious for having a horribly bad CPS (or whatever it is called here) department.
<snip>
And while some of the stories about this kind of stuff is that of urban legend, in Florida, not so much....unless you define urban legend as stories you find in the Miami Herald and the Tampa Tribune.

Whats worst with Florida's DCF (Florida Department of Children and Families), is you're damned if you do spank, and damned if you don't.

My sister has 3 "wild" kids, she got called by DCF because her kids weren't controlled. She started controlling the kids (the only way possible, for them), spanking. She got called by DCF on that also. Once the death of foster children in varying different county, DCF got better things to do now.

Florida DCF could care less about parental rights. Not saying all CPS are staff by nut cases, just Florida's.

[Glenn12345]

I know that in oklahoma parents can beat the living daylights out of a kid and get by with it. My parents noticed bruising on my nephew that was caused by a belt, a hand and a shoe, took pictures, and tried to get DHS (department of Human Services) involved. A District Attorney wouldnt even look into it and the Police were useless. Even going to civil court did my parents no good. Now they barely get to see my nephew. I promised myself that I would work to get the District attorney thrown out of office in the next election (this year). Sure enough I found out who his opponent would be in the primaries and I volunteered. After having over 15 years in office (his last election was unopposed), this jerk is now looking for a new job!

Thats not even the worst, there was a girl that was beat to death. DHS had been called 10 times by concerned family members and neighbors, yet nothing was done. Right before this little girl was killed she had casts on both arms and both legs. She had been hospitilized numerous times. DHS has maintained that there was not enough evidence to remove her from the home.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I'm another Aspie and the noise of a crying baby gets to me very badly. I can laugh about it later (and my mother laughs about it while it's happening ) but when I'm over at my cousin's, if all three of the triplets get to crying, I actually start feeling panicky and like I need to run away.

I did find a good way to get at my nephew, though. Screamback Method.

Nephew: *shriek!*
Me: *gets in his face* *shriek!*
Nephew: *shriek!*
Me: *shriek!*
Nephew: *hesitates* *shriek!*
Me: *shriek!*
Nephew: *obviously confused* *shriek?*
Me: *shriek!*
Nephew: *shuts up*

[Cosmic Cat]

My store has an escalator and little brats think it is the funnest carnival ride ever, so a lot of kids scream and throw a tantrum because mom or dad doesn't have the time or doesn't want to take them up and down the escalator multiple times. Well one day this little girl wrenched herself away from her mother and began shrieking so loudly that employees came running around the corner, thinking the girl was hurt. No, she just wanted to ride the "esklator." Her mom was real embarrassed. Guess what the kid's name was? Angel. Hahahaha!

[Ree]

That is the way it is supposed to work, and in many places, that is the way that it actually does work. But sadly, there are places where it does not work even close to that.

I'm well aware that Florida's CPS has had many problems. In fact, the Toronto CAS in my own country has made some terrible errors. If you read my reply, you will see that I acknowledged mistakes do happen.

What I was referring to as an "urban legend" was the constant complaint that people can't discipline their children or CPS will take them away.
Lack of discipline, in fact, is considered child neglect, anyway.

[Margrave]

My high school theatre teacher once had the cops come to her house in response to someone who called after seeing "someone hit a child" in their van and taking down the license number. The person doing the hitting turned out to be his younger brother, who didn't want to be strapped into his car seat.

[AirHostess]

35 yellling brats on an airplane....

[CSR Kim]

I am not necessarily against the leashing of kids (as out of control, obnoxious kids in public places drives me up wall). BUT, what I did see a lot of when I worked in the mall, was parents who would DRAG their kids on these leashes when they are misbehaving. Kids aren't dogs. If they won't walk, pick them up and carry them.

[Noelegy]

I have a form of autism (asperger's syndrome) and this is exactly why i can't handle screaming kids. this is why i get dirty looks on the subway because i have my ipod on loud - not top volume mind you, but loud enough to drown out all the other noises on a train. if i didn't have my ipod i could not ride the subway to work.

Unless someone's trying to talk to you or otherwise get your attention, why would they even care if you're listening to an iPod? I just don't understand how it's anyone's business but your own

Then again, I've noticed at work that my wearing those white earphones seems to stimulate among coworkers an intense urge to talk to me and require answers.

[Dreamstalker]

if me or my brother ever did anything even remotely like what's been described in this thread, my mom would have seriously pwned us then and there and people would approve of it, for the most part. we tended to keep our behavior within acceptable bounds for that reason , and we ended up fine.

I was a little shit at times when I was a little kid, but with two ex-military grandfathers I somehow instinctively knew what I could and couldn't get away with. I think I got swatted a grand total of...once, but that was by my grandmother and my grandfather gave her an earful for it.

Nephew: *shriek!*
Me: *gets in his face* *shriek!*
Nephew: *shriek!*
Me: *shriek!*
Nephew: *hesitates* *shriek!*
Me: *shriek!*
Nephew: *obviously confused* *shriek?*
Me: *shriek!*
Nephew: *shuts up*

I would pay to see that...

[draftermatt]

My philosophy is to remove the kids from the area. If they want to scream they can do it in the parking lot or the bathroom. My nephew hates when I grab him up and march him outside so he usually calms down. If he's being bad enough he will get a smack on the butt when we get to wherever.

I do this mainly to avoid the distraction to the other people, and to be away from eyes and ears that will complain to whoever.

[Arachne]

Parents are scared to discipline their children, especially in public. They think if someone sees them giving a swat to their brat's behind, some Nosy Nelly is going to call Child Protective Services and Mum will be arrested and have her child taken away.

I was never, ever, not once in my life spanked as a child. I was never even swatted on the butt. And yet I was not allowed to get away with misbehaving like that.

If I acted up in a store, my parents would leave, dragging me out if need be (that was rarely necessary -- once I'd pushed it far enough that we were leaving, I realized that I was in Deep Doo-Doo and usually went quietly) and they would talk to me very firmly in the car, explaining in great detail that we had left the store because I could not behave like a civilized human being in public. Yes, they used those words, and I understood them. They were the 'You're in sooooo much trouble' words.

Then, if it was my father, he would take me home and unrelentingly talk to me for an hour or more about why my behavior was bad, what the consequenses of such behavior were, what prompted me to misbehave that way, and how it could be avoided in the future. Until you've had your father sit down with you and force you to help him analyze your faults, you can't imagine how much you're going to want to never, ever have to do it again.

If it was my mom, I'd still get that talk once my dad got home, but I also got to tip-toe around her for the rest of the day, terrified that one wrong move would cause her to start screaming at me. My mom could passive-aggressively project 'I'm really pissed at you, you horrible, horrible child' better than anyone I've ever known, except her mom.

I was a fairly well-behaved child, and I was never spanked or grounded once. I turned out fine, as well -- I never once drank or used drugs, I got excellent grades once my ADD problems were addressed, and I was never in any trouble more serious than staying out too late at night. So it can be done.

People don't discipline their children because emotionally, they're still children themselves, and so they don't know how to establish the authority of being The Parent. Without that authority, your kids will walk all over you. I see it all the time where I work. The parents whose kids don't behave are the same ones who try to bargain with their kids, instead of laying down the law.