SC's and their idiotic suggestions

[AdminAssistant]

I think my brain just crashed. Need scotch to get it restarted.

With warm ice?

[cinema guy]

With warm ice?

Ice? Blasphemy!

[Mordecai]

About 9 years ago I had a woman phone up the store asking for the price of a particular type of hardwood external door. Had to go and physically double check the price of the door: "The 'X' door is £xxx, madam" Quick as a shot she replies: "Thats very expensive!"

Jesus Christ, I swear to God I hear this a dozen times a day. "$3.50 FOR A BOTTLE OF WATER?! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!!!!!!!"

[Coconut]

About 9 years ago I had a woman phone up the store asking for the price of a particular type of hardwood external door. Had to go and physically double check the price of the door: "The 'X' door is £xxx, madam" Quick as a shot she replies: "Thats very expensive!"

Do you know what, madam? You are absolutely right. In fact I'm so appalled at our high prices that I want to roll over and you can tickle my belly so that I can authorise 50% off straight away [/sarcasm] AND protest outside the store with a placard after my shift.

Exactly. I get that all the time. As if I have jack doodley to do with the prices.

[Nashida]

I've got a few:

-"You know, you should let me use my food stamps here." Sure thing, but only if you can sluck down a gallon of shock without keeling over.
-"You know, <competitor> has it for $x.xx." THEN GO THERE.
-" I shouldn't have to pay for what I need." God forbid we're trying to make a living here...

[KhirasHY]

-"You know, <competitor> has it for $x.xx." THEN GO THERE.

Hehe I hated getting that question in retail...it was at an EBGames before Gamestop bought them, and there was a Best Buy right around the corner. Side note, EBGames did price match, but our DM was a fuckwit who kept telling us not to do it...ie, he told us to ignore company policy.



Anyway, a few times a week, we would hear that..."but Best Buy has it for (price)!"
Me: "Ok...well, we have it for this price."
SC: "WHARRGARBL!"

If I ever go back to retail to work, I'm keeping a chainsaw with me.

Edit: I completely forgot to add in my "suggestions".

SC: You should keep selling alcohol after 2, you'd make a killing in Denver with all the other bars closed!
Yes, we would...until we had our liquor license revoked for being idiots, since that's illegal here. Great idea!

SC: Why don't you charge less for your rooms? You'd get more people in, I bet.
Yes, we would...but, as last weekend showed, when you reduce the room rate, the quality of some guests goes down. They aren't all bad, but the cheaper the room, the more likely you are to get blazing idiots in-house.

SC: This service is terrible...there's no reason why you people should ever close a pool and hot tub!
Yes, I can see your logic...you would much rather swim while we shocked the pool, and enjoy all the wonderful chemicals we put in there while we do it? Or maybe you'd rather just swim in the bacteria ridden petri dish that used to be our pool, since you'd rather we just let it get dirtier and dirtier. Maybe doing that will remove you from existence, and make my life better at the same time. Go for it!

SC: You guys should set up special stuff for guys like me...you know, a late-night liquor room? If one appeared, I'd make sure something found its way to you.
Gee, like a lawsuit? See above, jackass, I'm not going to break liquor laws for you. We get this one a lot from football and basketball players (or people claiming to be players), but there's one little problem: I don't give a shit. You people are not special to me. Unless you're going to cut me 50% of your salary every year to compensate me for my loss of a job, the measly $20 you leave on the counter as a bribe doesn't exactly cut it.

Also, odds are the woman who walked in with you is either a crab infested whore, or a crab infested slut, because I seem to see her around a lot. I can't really prove she's a whore, so I can't quite get her arrested and removed, but it doesn't change the fact that I know you'll be itchy tomorrow.

SC: Are you always this bitter? You should work on that.
I would, but you people keep finding me somehow, and suddenly my mood goes sour. Maybe if you go away, I'll get happier. You should work on that.

[Chromatix]

About 9 years ago I had a woman phone up the store asking for the price of a particular type of hardwood external door. Had to go and physically double check the price of the door: "The 'X' door is £xxx, madam" Quick as a shot she replies: "Thats very expensive!"

Isn't the whole point of a hardwood door so that it'll last several decades? I'd gladly pay a couple of hundred quid for something decent that will last that long.

[mattm04]

You know <item> is kinda expensive, you should lower the price. Yeah, sorry we are a for-profit business.

[joetheman]

"you should clean your belt (grocery store conveyor things) it's kinda dirty", and one time I even heard from another register "i'm not putting anything on this belt until it's clean".

seriously it isn't that dirty unless like a plant spilled dirt on it or something. and if you would get the hell out of my lane so I could actually have time to clean it that would be nice too.

[PepperElf]

5. You should have people on the phone lines ready to take calls for MY time zone.

Hell... if I can get up at 2am in Japan to make a phone call, then they can get up an hour earlier to do it too.... whatever they're bitching about probably isn't worse than trying to plan around that kind of time difference.

[Sharsarannon]

"$XX dollars for just a drawing?? That's too expensive!!"
Back when I was working as a custom caricature artist, and they'd say this to my face. I got so sick of it I finally just cut an elegant bow to one particularly snotty *&^% and grinned and said, "Thank you ma'am, and how much do people pay for your art?...I didn't think so."
My supervisor saw me do this. Never said a word. I could swear he might have been smiling though.

[thehippie777]

We have cards in the rooms the guests can fill out after they leave. The cards allow guests to evaluate us on service and cleaniness. At the bottom, there are several lines for guests to leave additional comments or suggestions. Some of the comments/suggestions include:

+ Extend the breakfast hours till noon. (Hello! It's lunch time by then! Besides, if we left our breakfast out that long, we wouldn't have enough by the end of the week.)

+ Your location is too hard to find. (Well, I guess the three blue directional signs directing you the the property and big sign in the parking lot are not enough. Then again, driving in the Pittsburgh region can be confusing, so I can kind of understand that. But we are right off the interstate though.)

+ You guys charge too much. (If you want just a room and coffee for breakfast, head down to Motel 6. Also we didn't pull your leg to stay here. If you want cheap, then don't stay here.)

+ The cubes out of the ice machine are too cold. (Don't know how to respond to that.)

There are alot more, but my brain hurts.

We've had the breakfast one before. It's not super often people say that. Often people are happy it's from 6-10. The breakfast hostess gets the most of the complaints at like 11. "Is breakfast done???" Mangement has declared that they can't decline requests for food they've put away. I feel for them.

Hey our location is hard to find, too! And this is Montana! And we are also just off the interstate into a city that has 5 exits, that's it! Had a guest tell our Sales and Maintenance guy early in the morning that the hotel needs to put signs on the building saying what it is. They both blinked and told him there are signs on the building. Later they went outside and asked eachother, "How much more does he want then large letters that light up red saying *Hotel Name* on both sides of the visible building including the big light up sign saying the same thing by the interstate inside the parking lot???

We also charge too much. I like your thoughts on this.

hahaha Ice cubes were too cold??? How evil! I couldn't have helped to respond with a, "uh...what?" I had 2 people in the last couple months (I have been here a little over 6 years) say that the rooms were too dark. One was an older couple who were afraid they were hurt themselves if they needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. They thought I was genius for suggesting leaving the bathroom light on and closing the door a bit. The other people were a normal middle aged family who claimed their room was "darker then the one they had last year". I guess they thought their light bulbs were not high enough wattage. I just wanted to tell them to just go to bed lol

[Gingernut]

On being told we have no way of anticipating when our competitors will raise their prices and cause a tidal wave of frantic sales calls to jam our phone system so that there is a twenty minute wait to speak to an operator, if you're lucky:

'Well, you should just make sure you always have enough operators to deal with these call volumes!'

...so basically, for the ten months of the year when call volumes are less than 10% of what they are now, we should have so many operators sitting around doing nothing that each one waits up to an hour between calls, doing nothing and being paid for it.

Excellent, I'd love that, but I can't see my manager going for it.

[HawaiianShirts]

'Well, you should just make sure you always have enough operators to deal with these call volumes!'

Just like my customers who complain about the fact that I'm sold out of something they want. Case in point: Labor Day week. We had a sale on a laptop that brought the thing down to $399. It was a good price for what it had, though I wouldn't exactly call it a good computer. Anyway, my store, which is the third smallest in the district, started the week with just over 60 of these units. Yes, 60. In all my time there, I don't think I've ever seen that many of one computer at once. The laptop that was just above it in price and specs ($549), we had 54 of that one. All the other stores had the same number or more of both.

Those sale prices ran Sunday through Saturday. By the end of business on Monday (Labor Day) we were sold out of the $399 one, and by Thursday we were out of the $549 one. On Friday, I lost count of how many people I had ask me, "Why did you advertise it if you don't have any?" and then, when I explain that the holiday made people crazy to buy stuff and that the entire district sold out, they tell me, "Well, next time you put on a sale, you need to make sure you have enough supply to fill the demand!"

I'm really glad Corporate doesn't take these comments seriously when they get them. If that happened, Corporate would overestimate our selling potential on some item (because they always overestimate stuff like that), send us 500 boxes, and it would turn out to be only marginally popular, so when it went back to regular price, we'd still have 480 boxes, no room to put them, and no one who wanted to buy them. I'd say we're actually doing pretty well on that balance between "too much" and "not enough."


My all-time favorite customer comment, though, came through our online survey. This is as close as I can get to verbatim:
"Some of your aisles are too narrow. In Fat America, people need more space. You need to keep up with the times, realize all your customers are becoming obese, and widen the aisles to make room for them. I don't like having to walk sideways just to look at the movie section and push people out of my way because only one fat person can fit down there at once."

[simpleyme]

" you should put an entrance sign on your door" said by every idiot that somehow manages to walk past our bright red door with a light over the top and the huge OPEN please come in sign on it

" you should sell XXXXXXX" this is only sucky when i ask them if they are in need of said item and they say no , but you would sell a lot of them


"you should sell penny candy" my response is I wish we could , but unfortunately we cannot buy any candy cheap enough to sell it for that ,"that should not matter , you should do it for the children, geeze all you are concerned about is making money "( uhhh, hello yes must make monies)

"you should make xxxxxx from homemade " yes I really like suggestions that would be a lot of work for me nothing I would like better than to get up at dawn and bake bread and muffins for that one day a month that you shop here, some of the ideas are not bad but seriously I do not like any that increase my workload