See, sucide is a sin. So they can't die by their own hand or they'll wind up in Hell. So they try to get me to the point where I'll just reach across the counter and tear their throats out in front of witnesses and on camera. (And some days that's the only thing stopping me)
Case in point: This morning.
Long line. About twenty people or so and I'm doing pretty well considering I haven't had caffeine in three days. (A record for me) There's also two other people at the register so for once it's not like it's just me vs. the city of Burlington today. But otherwise I'm holding up.
This woman brings up three cards. I ring her up and ask her, "Would you like a bag."
"Why do you ask me that?" She asks in a fit of laughter as though she's the funniest person in the world. "Of course I want a bag, now why would you even bother asking me?"
"Because I ask everyone ma'am," I respond with a big toothy just-shot-in-the-ass-with-a-thorazine-needle grin. I'm also enunciating each word so as to warn my coworkers that I may need the men in white coats very soon. "You see, some people don't always want a bag. Sometimes I give them a bag and they tell me they don't want one. So I always ask because it is polite to do so."
She busts out laughing more and runs her mouth even longer and I'm clenching my fists beneath my register until she leaves and I ring up her friend who actually seems apologetic. Or she's just trying to sooth me...who knows?
Case in point: This morning.
Long line. About twenty people or so and I'm doing pretty well considering I haven't had caffeine in three days. (A record for me) There's also two other people at the register so for once it's not like it's just me vs. the city of Burlington today. But otherwise I'm holding up.
This woman brings up three cards. I ring her up and ask her, "Would you like a bag."
"Why do you ask me that?" She asks in a fit of laughter as though she's the funniest person in the world. "Of course I want a bag, now why would you even bother asking me?"
"Because I ask everyone ma'am," I respond with a big toothy just-shot-in-the-ass-with-a-thorazine-needle grin. I'm also enunciating each word so as to warn my coworkers that I may need the men in white coats very soon. "You see, some people don't always want a bag. Sometimes I give them a bag and they tell me they don't want one. So I always ask because it is polite to do so."
She busts out laughing more and runs her mouth even longer and I'm clenching my fists beneath my register until she leaves and I ring up her friend who actually seems apologetic. Or she's just trying to sooth me...who knows?

Hello!!!??? Tic Tacs?? Most places even give you a receipt, so it's ok to put it in your purse. Dunno. Maybe it's just me. But, I totally understand how you feel.

( Sir would you like to carry two bags worth of goods through a busy department store today
)
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