Quoth PepperElf
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Drunk in Pub-lic
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"Diamonds... That'll shut her up!""Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021
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"Other people learn things when I'm drunk. I had a limo driver recently learn that when I say I gotta yak... I don't mean I have a long-haired buffalo livin' in my backyard."
"Really? Whaddaya feed it?"
"......Corn."PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.
There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
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Quoth Kali View Post......youuuuuuu might be a redneck.
If your porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs...
If fewer than half your cars run...
If the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road..."
If the KKK kicked you out for being a bigot...
If You view the upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women...
If you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income...
If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves shoes and a flashlight...
If your brother and sister get divorced...from each other...
Sorry, couldn't resistAerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari
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My all-time favorite:
"If your mother doesn't bother to take the Marlboro from between her lips before she tells the state trooper to kiss her ass......you might be a redneck!"
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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Red Robin also has good shakes. Of course they're huge--not only do you get a large shake in a glass...but you get the metal mixing thingie as well. Did I mention that's full also? Needless to say, after having my meal, I nearly destroyed myself...Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari
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If you wait outside all night for a tire sale...you might be a redneck.
If your child's night light is a neon beer sign...you might be a redneck.
If you go skinny dipping in an inflatable wading pool...you might be a redneck.Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
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Hey man, Hey man! How far do you think we can go on one engine?
All the way to the scene of the crash!
Hit something hard, I don't want to limp away for this son of a bitch.
(Gotta love Ron White)If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
--Woodrow Willson
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If you've ever had a beer during an eulogy... You might be a redneck.
"Mama looks good don't she?"
"That ain't Mama."
"Naw that's her... they just shaved her beard off!"
I couldn't resist!"Honestly officer, he asked for a shot and I gave him one. Why do you need the handcuffs?" - MannersMakethMan
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