Public Transit Pr0n

[Greenday]

A bunch of guys checking out and filming one of their male friends take a leak? I'm definitely not going there...

[BookstoreEscapee]

I was in Babies R Us today and there was a baby blue camo basket liner. Luckily the girl version was not camo. Had pink with a gold swirly pattern on it. I did have to look twice to make sure, though.

[Snowbird]

JOE SMISHSee, Joe is some sort of colossal fuckign idiot and insists on continuing to put things on that little door ledge despite the bar being broken. Which means of course EVERY time he opens the fridge, they fall onto the floor.

This, of course, is all my fault.

If I would just send someone to fix the rail he wouldn’t have this problem.

The guy can't figure out how to jury-rig a temporary barrier made out of, say, duct tape?

I had more to say but I think my brain burned out on the repeat loop of and from that gem of a caller, let alone the rest.

[cloudiko]

Everyone has at least one uncle who is full of complete bullshit stories he insists on telling the only people gullible enough to believe him: kids. This uncle is Uncle Vick. Uncle Vick helped build the space shuttle and the large hedron collider. Uncle Vick once got in trouble with the <agency>. Uncle Vick single handedly saved a French village from the Nazi’s even though Uncle Vick was born in 1972. Uncle Vick is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan. Uncle Vick once punched out a shark.

Uncle Vick drinks because you cry.

Hahahahahaha, I love you GK. I fell out of my chair laughing at this one!

Then. Tragedy. “Dude! Quick! I need another bottle!”.

And that is when you know your night couldn't get any worse. People are so classy sometimes.

[smileyeagle1021]

A bunch of guys checking out and filming one of their male friends take a leak? I'm definitely not going there...

beer, lots and lots of beer...
either that or there's more than skeletons in the closet (speaking of which, I'm running out of space for all my skeletons... anyone have a closet to spare )

[Gravekeeper]

What a work week. Here's some alcohol of your choice and a slice of cheesecake. You've earned it.

I don't drink, despite the overwhelming amount of reasons I should, however I will take the cheesecake.

now as to the feeling that the smell of urban ape piss will take up permanent residence in your clothing i suggest a small spritzer bottle of fabreeze be kept in your messenger bag/man purse if you carry one. i keep one of fabreeze and one of clorox cleaner.

Yeah, I always keep a bottle of Fabreeze amount. Especially with the cat.

How's your book doing?

Heh, its not really doing anything at the moment. Sometimes I think I should write one thats constructive, but bitterly sarcastic. Other times I'm close to just seething and ranting for a few hundred pages. =p

Part of me wants to join the ranks of GK's work place and the other part just wants to sit in the corner and laugh at his coworkers.

My coworkers aren't the problem. Although my coworker on the night shift is subjected to many verbal....experiences for lack of a better explanation. I completely ruined Field of Dreams for him the other night. I'm proud of myself.

That Skytrain story was from Saturday night, so I was off the next day. Should be amusing to head back in tomorrow night and see the impact it had on my coworkers. =p

[ta2ooed1]

<shudder>.


867


Me: “Good morning, <company>-“
SC: “I’m trying to order a jacket!”

Thus came the battle cry as a lone ape creature hobbled ungainly over the hill, spied us with one beady eye and with a great bellow began to lope in an ill-advised charge on our ranks, it's loin cloth flapping in the breeze and offering periodic glimpses of a sight no mortal should ever have to see.

Me: “Alright, and your phone number please?”
SC: “uh….don’ have no phone.”
Me: “Hmm, well, I need a phone number to place an order for you.”
SC: “……..”
Me: “……..”
SC: “uhh…..”
Me: “…….do you have a phone number you can be reached at?”
SC: “Reach to where?”
Me: “…..do you have a phone number?”
SC: “Uh……xxxx?”
Me: “…o-“
SC: “xxx?”
Me: “…xxx-xxxx?”
SC: “xxx-xxx-xxxx?”

Alas, his mighty charge, while determined, crashed futilely upon the great pike line that was basic comprehension. His gangly, misshapen form beaten back. The great arctic beast bellowed with rage and confusion.

Me: “Ok, and can I have your postal code please?”
SC: “Uh…….postal code?”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “Uh…….”
Me: “…….”
SC: “…….”
SC: “PO Box?”
Me: “No, I need a postal code.”
SC: “Postal code…..”
Me: “Yes, I can’t send an order without a postal code.”
SC: “……….”
Me: “………”

The air rang silent for a good 15 seconds as the world hang in the balance.

Me: “So do you have a postal code?”
SC: “Postal code…..”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “uhh…..00087497?”
Me: “…no, I need a postal code.
SC: “Postal code……”

Again, dead silence for a good 30 seconds while his few remaining brain cells screamed for help, but their desperate pleas only echo’d vacantly about the vast, dark, empty chamber within which they dwelled. He could muster no resistance, no renewed assault.

Me: “Do you have a postal code?”
SC: “Wafghaszilg?!”
( Thats really about the noise he made. )
Me: “….pardon?”
SC: “<click>”

And thus the great beast fell, panting and shuddering from its wounds for a moment before succumbing to the cold embrace of death. Cold. Defeated. Pantless.

So which is going to succumb to the cold embrace of death? His nipples or his bits that lack TESTICULAR THERMAL SHIELDING?

And I don't pity GK's coworkers, but I do envy the one that shares his shift! Can you imagine the entertainment factor of his pronouncements

[Becks]

I completely ruined Field of Dreams for him the other night.

Well now I'm curious.

[AlmightyALT]

This is why I like the Skytrain[/B]

So they're doing track maintenance on the Skytrain's this weekend. Which means the Skytrains are running slower then usual. No biggie. There's a fair crowd on the platform waiting with me. But key amongst us with a girl on her cellphone, desperately trying to tell her mom that she's not intentionally late for her ride, the Skytrain's just have a 15 minute wait right now because of the track maintenance. This pleading went on for a minute or so until the Skytrain PA system kicked in and this announcement came:

"No, really mom. She's waiting for the Skytrain still!"

Reminds me of the time in London in December 2006. Just gotten on the underground when the conducter gets on and says, "Please mind the gap. Please mind the gap." The door close and just before we starts he comes back on, "I told you to mind the gap." in this perfect "I told you so!" tone. My car all looks around and chuckles at each other.

I also searched for Nunavut on Google Earth. I'm not detecting any lifeforms.... Are you sure you're not being contacted by an separate dimension of morons?

[gerund]

Everyone has at least one uncle who is full of complete bullshit stories he insists on telling the only people gullible enough to believe him: kids. This uncle is Uncle Vick.

Is this the one who always says "Pull my finger!"?

[crazylegs]

Heh, its not really doing anything at the moment. Sometimes I think I should write one thats constructive, but bitterly sarcastic. Other times I'm close to just seething and ranting for a few hundred pages.

In answer to this I will just say the following:

Yes.

[bunnyboy]

beer, lots and lots of beer...
either that or there's more than skeletons in the closet (speaking of which, I'm running out of space for all my skeletons... anyone have a closet to spare )

Eh I'll loan you mine, nothing really there anymore, and it's nice not living inside it.....though I don't know how I'd deliver such a thing, not sure if my great-aunt is still in West Jordan or not, but I doubt even then I could deliver a metaphorical closet...

[Gravekeeper]

Well now I'm curious.

You probably don't want to know. I say many things with the express purpose of breaking his mind and I essentially turned it into a porno with a single appended line. =p

He had proclaimed "If you build it, they will come!". Which is...lets say wide open to interpretation.

[LewisLegion]

You need a hug GK...

*HUUUUUGGGGGG*

[Skeksin]

beer, lots and lots of beer...
either that or there's more than skeletons in the closet (speaking of which, I'm running out of space for all my skeletons... anyone have a closet to spare )

Bah! Amateur. Take up necromancy and MAKE those skeletons work FOR you!