That Which Should Not Be Asked

[Golden Phoenix]

I suffer from the dreaded foot-in-mouth disease and as such i only ask when a baby is due if:

A) The woman appears to be in active labour and i'm trying to figure out if i should call an ambulance.
B) She's told me she's pregnant.

[KhirasHY]

I believe it was Brian Regan who said "don't guess at that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever."

Indeed, words to live by.

Some women might like people to be curious...but I'm never going to ask that question, even if it's 100% obvious that you are, indeed, pregnant.

I have this thing about not getting slapped in the face that guides my words.

[chinashirtgirl]

Also what are these busy-bodies going to do with the information after they find out when the baby is due? Are they going to throw a shower for a perfect stranger?

It just seems like a pretty personal question to begin with and unless a pregnant lady starts the conversation and talks about her pregnancy I say mind your own business.

[Tikaysha]

I work in a maternity shop, so I'm asking that question all the time. I've found the best response to "I'm shopping for my friend/sister/daughter" is "Ah! I thought you just weren't showing yet. Congratulations on being an aunt/grandmother." I'm not sure how you'd translate that to the outside world though. Or why anyone would ask that out of the blue unless it was their doctor or someone trying to sell you maternity clothes.

[otakuneko]

One time, back in high school, I made the opposite assumption about a girl. I distinctly remember being surprised when she said she was pregnant. I had assumed she was just plump. (though, I never said anything about it)

[Reyneth]

When someone is buying parenting/baby names/pregnancy books at my bookstore, unless they are clearly pregnant, I'll often kinda indicate the books and ask "for you or someone else?" They say yes, I say congrats. They say no, for sister/friend/etc, I say congrats on being an aunt/cool friend of mom/etc. I haven't offended anyone yet.....

[Naaman]

How can people be that oblivious?

Pg 'fat' is all in the front belly location (along with some other, often obvious, changes)

Overweight is spread around a bit more

And no, I have never nor will ever congratulate someone until they tell me (because of that chance I may be wrong)

[BookstoreEscapee]

I work in a maternity shop, so I'm asking that question all the time. I've found the best response to "I'm shopping for my friend/sister/daughter" is "Ah! I thought you just weren't showing yet. Congratulations on being an aunt/grandmother." I'm not sure how you'd translate that to the outside world though. Or why anyone would ask that out of the blue unless it was their doctor or someone trying to sell you maternity clothes.

See, in that situation, you could easily be safe just by asking "When's the baby due?" That way you are not assuming the shopper is the mother-to-be, but obviously there is a baby on the way....somewhere. Same with the case of a customer buying books on the subject.

[Aislin]

I got this on a plane and was stuck sitting next to the twit for the next hour, then she asked when my bf and I were getting married, he replied "someday" I replied "none of your f*cking business." Then she tried to convert us to her religion. I was so happy when the flight attendant came and we could order drinks.

[Tikaysha]

See, in that situation, you could easily be safe just by asking "When's the baby due?" That way you are not assuming the shopper is the mother-to-be, but obviously there is a baby on the way....somewhere. Same with the case of a customer buying books on the subject.

I could. But then I'd have to do math in my head, to figure out how much longer that is, and therefore how far along said pregnant lady is. Which, on the wrong day, is more than my former lit-major brain can handle. I do not need to appear brain-dead to people who make more than me by a factor of ten.

[candyshopgirl]

A boss I once had was famous for having foot-in-mouth disease. One day, he asked a customer the when-is-the-baby-due question and got PWNED when the lady replied, its an inoperable TUMOR!

Don't let cads like this upset you. If it helps, some of us men find bigger bellies attractive. In fact, this thread made me think of cuddling. So there, rude insensitive customer!

One of our housekeepers got suspended because when she asked one of the other housekeepers when she was due.Same thing it was a tumor.Then the stupid bitch still went around after being told this and still told everyone that the woman was preggers.The bitch got supensed for three days without pay.But the best part was the bitch confronted the poor woman and yell at her.She got suspended again.

[AlmightyALT]

I... am guilty of this. But then I was... 8 at the time and a friend of my mom's was pregnant and their bellies looked about the same! My mom was horrified. But the lady, fortunately, took it in good stride since I was but a child. And I learned my lesson not to do so.

Funn story about this. Another ALT friend of mine got on the train the other day and since all the seats were taken she had to stand, which she didn't mind because she was only going to go about two stops down. Well this guy gets up and gestures to her to take his seat. She gives him the 'oh no, it's all right, I'm fine' hand wave. He again gestures to her to take his seat. She again gives him the hand wave. He then points to her stomach. She pauses a moment, figures it out and, turning bright red, gestured to the guy that she wasn't pregnant. He turned red as well and sat back down. She now laughs about it and says the next time she rides a train and wants a seat she's going to pretend to be pregnant. Joking of course.

[Iris Kojiro]

*slinks away in shame*

I'll admit that I've asked before...however in my defense at one of my jobs we do sell medication and there are some things that pregnant women cannot use. I'll also admit that if she is super-obviously pregnant (that even the dumbest of people could tell it's a pregnancy and not just fat), I'll say something like "How much longer?"

I haven't offended anyone, fortunately.

[42_42_42]

I had this happen to me. But the offender was a kindergartener and he was so sweet about it and was really sad when he found out there wasn't a baby in my tummy. It was too cute for me to be upset. It was a unique teaching moment, however!

If any adult did that to me, I'd probably burst into tears as my DH and I have been TTC for almost a year and I did just have an operation to remove a giant tumor that was most likely the reason we weren't having any success.

[Seshat]

I'll admit that I've asked before...however in my defense at one of my jobs we do sell medication and there are some things that pregnant women cannot use.

I'd say that's a perfectly reasonable exception to the rule!

I'd want to be asked if I was pregnant before getting an X-ray, too.