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This is really quite long and also my first thread, I apologize. A bit of background, I have worked in the counseling department at my local community college as a student worker (manning phones, making appointments, managing database, filing, etc.) for over two years. I finally moved away from there about the end of August. This (much condensed) list is from the last month or so worth of frustrations there.
Why do you hate me?
I am actually, despite what you seem to have been told, here to help. Your tuition (ok, lets be real, your taxes) are paying my bills. I want you to come to this school. I'd LOVE for you to come to this school. So please, do not start rolling your eyes and huffing your breath when I am forced to ask repetitive questions. 1. You only have to hear them once or twice. I ask them hundreds of times a day. 2. If you had told me you were continuing/transferring/concurrent I would not have had to go back to question two on my list (yes, there is a list. yes, I am supposed to go in this order) 3. Yes, you do have to do "all of that crap". If you can't get through the THREE STEPS to get ready to register here, I hope you don't plan on actually getting out of this town.
Please, stop assuming I am psychic.
Because I am not. I cannot magically pull the information you are seeking out of my ass with out 1. understanding what you are asking and 2. being able to decipher the mumbling bumbling you seem to think counts as language.
So when asking me for "Auto ref...you know like smog checks. We're here to get her car." Please, have patience. I honestly did not know our Auto Dept. did smog checks for people. Let along magiced your car (sorry, the not in attendance 'her') car there with out either of you finding out where the building was. And when I ask you, "Do you mean where our Auto Dept is?" please do not roll your eyes and say "duh". The urge to smash your head against my desk does not decrease when you do this.
Also, calling and telling me your name and the day/time of your appointment, though informative, really doesn't tell me what you are calling me for. Please insert a question or request with the other information, ok?
I did not realize I worked for the telephone company.
But according to you I do. Or perhaps you have mistaken me, a lowly student worker, for someone with some say in how the (extremely poor) college uses its budget. Please, stop asking me to "fix" our phone system.
Top 3 Favorite Examples:
1. When I went to this school, there was a Help Desk! Why did you make it all automated!? Its confusing and takes too long! Can't you make it simpler? (7:35Am, we do not open until 8. She's lucky I even picked up the damn phone.)
2. I just spent fifteen minutes trying to get my instructors number! Why is your phone tree *so hard*!? (Instructors give you their contact information, if you lose this or they do not provide contact info, the complete directory is on-line, in the handbook, and in the schedule. This includes e-mail.We do not have an automated directory for this. All you have to do is ask me to transfer you to the instructor, if I can find the number, I am happy to do so. If this too hard, I feel very sorry for your instructor.)
3. No one is answering my question! They just keep passing me off to someone else! I want a damn answer! (And I feel a lot of sympathy for those who get bounced around from department to department. It sucks, I know. But we are built on a bureaucracy, and the ruder you are, the faster you get bouced. This is not quite a "fix the phone system", its more of a "fix the system" complaint.)
No, your local, understaffed community college is NOT open 24/7
We are open from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm on Mondays and from 8 until 5 Tuesday to Friday during the normal Fall and Spring semesters, and 7:00am to 6:00pm Monday through Thursday over the summer. When I say the open appointments are between 10 and 11:30. Please, do not ask if that is "in the morning" with such uncertainty. It crumbles my already fragile confidence in the human race. Please do ask if we have Saturday appointments. Please do not get snippy with me when the instructors are not here during Spring Break. The staff is here, the student workers are here, the counselors, officials, and professors get the whole week off. And please, I beg of you, do not say "Well, I work all day." So do I. And since I am there from seven in the morning to five in the evening, I really do not want to stay two hours later for an appointment you may or may not show up for. Neither does the counselor, nor my supervisor, not the police who lock up the building, not the custodians who clean the office when we leave. Conveniencing you means inconveniencing at the very least six people. (I catch a ride with someone who leaves at 5, thus the extra person.)
On a side note, I agree. It would be great if we could call people when students cancel. It would also be great if people actually called to cancel instead of just not showing up. We suffer, you suffer. Deal.
This is not your (or your child's) high school.
No, we do not "send report cards."
No, we do not tell your professor you "don't feel too good". You have their phone number, you tell them.
No, there is no way to tell your teacher you are running late at 8:05 when your class starts at 8:00. Besides, no one cares.
No, we cannot tell you were your child is. You must go to campus police and have them deliver the message directly to the student while you wait at the station. Yelling at me and slamming your huge, meaty palms on my desk are not going to change the privacy laws in effect here. Nor are your reactions doing much for my confidence in your emotional and mental stability. In fact, if you had not walked away when you did, you would have witnessed my boss calling the campus police to inform them of your (hopefully soon to be removed) presence.
You are not pertinent.
I have access to many things. Much of which I really wish I did not. I can look up just about anything regarding your permanent record, your transcript, and the date of just about every event and deadline in existence on this campus. However, your entrance test scores from fifteen years ago? Slightly beyond even my powers. And I really do not care that you worked at a medical office, that you "know how it works", that your office kept everything in the file "because its the law". You worked in the medical field, no duh you kept everything. But we do not. If you have not gone here in the last three years, we shred it all. I am sorry that you *need* this test score (or at least I would be if you weren't being so utterly rude), but you really should have kept a copy if you have to renew whateveritwas every howeverlong. I am neither hiding your file (illegal) nor trying to waste your time (inefficient). And telling me that we need to "make considerations for students like me" is bull. I have worked here over two years and I have never, ever been asked for fifteen year old test scores before you.
I am not lying to you.
No, really, I'm not. I am not kidding you or joking with you either. And yes, I am "for real". I have five people in line behind you and someone on the phone. I am not making up the date of the next appointment. If I say it is a month from now, that's when it is. Feel grateful you are not an ESL student, their counselor has a two month wait time, minimum.
If you need a walk-in *right now!* you had better be having a psychotic break, as that is the only thing that I am allowed to drag counselors out of their dens for that I will not get in trouble for. I am sorry if our hours do not fit the bus schedual, but I ride that particular piece of Hellishness as well. You will not get any pity from me, so stop sending invitations to your party.
I am not making up steps in the registration process just to annoy you. I am annoyed enough for the both of us. Your behavior is not helping my sarcasm. We have three basic steps and only two real pieces of paper work. If this is some how too complicated, please, rethink your education choices. College may not be the best place for you. (This is not to condemn those returning to school for self-betterment or those coming to learn basic literacy. I understand that you are not used to the paperwork and am glad to help. Those too lazy to show up for basic orientation three times in a row? Please stop wasting my time.)
Yes, all of those little boxes do need to be filled out.
As amazing as it sounds, I really do need your full name, printed legibly, your SSN/Student ID, your reason for coming to the walk-in, and your birth date. I have no problem helping you fill this out, but these must not be left blank, and sometimes I still need further clarification. You see, 1. I must pull your transcript for you to see the counselor. If your name is John Smith/Amanpreet Singh/Jose Martinez there may, perhaps, be others will similar names. Your birthday clears things up immensely. 2. All school paperwork requires either your social security number or your Student ID. No exceptions. If you value your privacy, please use the Student ID. I actually prefer to see this. I don't want to see your SSN any more than you want to give it. 3. You have exactly 15 minutes. The wait time is between 2 seconds and two hours. Quite possibly the only real training I have is in what takes how long and what steps I can handle for you in the counselor's stead. Something that takes an hour long appointment is not going to be done on a walk-in. You may wait all you like, the counselor will simply tell you to make an appointment. A leave of absence on the other hand, takes all of five seconds (for you, it is a fifteen minute odyssey for the student worker involved) and counselors do not touch them. So, as you can see, reason is important.
And no, "to talk to a counselor" is not an acceptable answer to "Why do you want to see a counselor today?" Nor is "counseling".
Are you illiterate?
Because when you come up to my desk and ask me if this where you make counseling appointments, I have to physically restrain myself from looking at the sign that hangs literally *three feet* above my head that says COUNSELING APPOINTMENTS.
(Don't worry too much though, I think at least three of our counselors are illiterate too. And at least two should be declared legally deaf and/or blind.)
Best Phone Call EVER!
It's my very last week of work. Monday morning, maybe 10am or so. I will never, ever have to set foot on the grounds of Community College again after this Thursday. So far it had been a pretty slow day, normal nice people, normal sucky people. Then I get a phone call...
Me: "Community College Counseling. How may I help you?"
SC: "I'm calling for my son. He wants an appointment with a counselor. What times do you have available?"
Me: "Well, we don't have any appointments until school starts. Would you be willing to do a walk-in?"
SC: "At what times?"
Me: "Well, as of right now the times are <lists ever walk-in time from Monday until Thursday>."
SC: "So that was <repeats it back incorrectly>."
Me: "No, it was <repeats it back, slowly and clearly>."
SC: "Right." *click*
Ooookay. Odd reaction, but whatever, I'm not really letting anything bother me at the moment.
Phone rings.
Me: "Community College Counseling. How may I help you?"
Same lady: "You're not a nice person." *click*
WTF? I cracked up! Apparently there was something about my tone this woman just Did Not Like. I swear I wasn't being sarcastic, caustic, or even condescending. My boss was sitting right next to me and said she didn't think I was either, but this woman decided my goodness as a human being over one short phone call AND decided to share (without even checking if I was the same person she had just spoken to)! The best phone call I have ever gotten in over two years of working there and it was five seconds long. What was really funny was that for the rest of the day I got tons of compliments on my patience and good humor!
Why do you hate me?
I am actually, despite what you seem to have been told, here to help. Your tuition (ok, lets be real, your taxes) are paying my bills. I want you to come to this school. I'd LOVE for you to come to this school. So please, do not start rolling your eyes and huffing your breath when I am forced to ask repetitive questions. 1. You only have to hear them once or twice. I ask them hundreds of times a day. 2. If you had told me you were continuing/transferring/concurrent I would not have had to go back to question two on my list (yes, there is a list. yes, I am supposed to go in this order) 3. Yes, you do have to do "all of that crap". If you can't get through the THREE STEPS to get ready to register here, I hope you don't plan on actually getting out of this town.
Please, stop assuming I am psychic.
Because I am not. I cannot magically pull the information you are seeking out of my ass with out 1. understanding what you are asking and 2. being able to decipher the mumbling bumbling you seem to think counts as language.
So when asking me for "Auto ref...you know like smog checks. We're here to get her car." Please, have patience. I honestly did not know our Auto Dept. did smog checks for people. Let along magiced your car (sorry, the not in attendance 'her') car there with out either of you finding out where the building was. And when I ask you, "Do you mean where our Auto Dept is?" please do not roll your eyes and say "duh". The urge to smash your head against my desk does not decrease when you do this.
Also, calling and telling me your name and the day/time of your appointment, though informative, really doesn't tell me what you are calling me for. Please insert a question or request with the other information, ok?
I did not realize I worked for the telephone company.
But according to you I do. Or perhaps you have mistaken me, a lowly student worker, for someone with some say in how the (extremely poor) college uses its budget. Please, stop asking me to "fix" our phone system.
Top 3 Favorite Examples:
1. When I went to this school, there was a Help Desk! Why did you make it all automated!? Its confusing and takes too long! Can't you make it simpler? (7:35Am, we do not open until 8. She's lucky I even picked up the damn phone.)
2. I just spent fifteen minutes trying to get my instructors number! Why is your phone tree *so hard*!? (Instructors give you their contact information, if you lose this or they do not provide contact info, the complete directory is on-line, in the handbook, and in the schedule. This includes e-mail.We do not have an automated directory for this. All you have to do is ask me to transfer you to the instructor, if I can find the number, I am happy to do so. If this too hard, I feel very sorry for your instructor.)
3. No one is answering my question! They just keep passing me off to someone else! I want a damn answer! (And I feel a lot of sympathy for those who get bounced around from department to department. It sucks, I know. But we are built on a bureaucracy, and the ruder you are, the faster you get bouced. This is not quite a "fix the phone system", its more of a "fix the system" complaint.)
No, your local, understaffed community college is NOT open 24/7
We are open from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm on Mondays and from 8 until 5 Tuesday to Friday during the normal Fall and Spring semesters, and 7:00am to 6:00pm Monday through Thursday over the summer. When I say the open appointments are between 10 and 11:30. Please, do not ask if that is "in the morning" with such uncertainty. It crumbles my already fragile confidence in the human race. Please do ask if we have Saturday appointments. Please do not get snippy with me when the instructors are not here during Spring Break. The staff is here, the student workers are here, the counselors, officials, and professors get the whole week off. And please, I beg of you, do not say "Well, I work all day." So do I. And since I am there from seven in the morning to five in the evening, I really do not want to stay two hours later for an appointment you may or may not show up for. Neither does the counselor, nor my supervisor, not the police who lock up the building, not the custodians who clean the office when we leave. Conveniencing you means inconveniencing at the very least six people. (I catch a ride with someone who leaves at 5, thus the extra person.)
On a side note, I agree. It would be great if we could call people when students cancel. It would also be great if people actually called to cancel instead of just not showing up. We suffer, you suffer. Deal.
This is not your (or your child's) high school.
No, we do not "send report cards."
No, we do not tell your professor you "don't feel too good". You have their phone number, you tell them.
No, there is no way to tell your teacher you are running late at 8:05 when your class starts at 8:00. Besides, no one cares.
No, we cannot tell you were your child is. You must go to campus police and have them deliver the message directly to the student while you wait at the station. Yelling at me and slamming your huge, meaty palms on my desk are not going to change the privacy laws in effect here. Nor are your reactions doing much for my confidence in your emotional and mental stability. In fact, if you had not walked away when you did, you would have witnessed my boss calling the campus police to inform them of your (hopefully soon to be removed) presence.
You are not pertinent.
I have access to many things. Much of which I really wish I did not. I can look up just about anything regarding your permanent record, your transcript, and the date of just about every event and deadline in existence on this campus. However, your entrance test scores from fifteen years ago? Slightly beyond even my powers. And I really do not care that you worked at a medical office, that you "know how it works", that your office kept everything in the file "because its the law". You worked in the medical field, no duh you kept everything. But we do not. If you have not gone here in the last three years, we shred it all. I am sorry that you *need* this test score (or at least I would be if you weren't being so utterly rude), but you really should have kept a copy if you have to renew whateveritwas every howeverlong. I am neither hiding your file (illegal) nor trying to waste your time (inefficient). And telling me that we need to "make considerations for students like me" is bull. I have worked here over two years and I have never, ever been asked for fifteen year old test scores before you.
I am not lying to you.
No, really, I'm not. I am not kidding you or joking with you either. And yes, I am "for real". I have five people in line behind you and someone on the phone. I am not making up the date of the next appointment. If I say it is a month from now, that's when it is. Feel grateful you are not an ESL student, their counselor has a two month wait time, minimum.
If you need a walk-in *right now!* you had better be having a psychotic break, as that is the only thing that I am allowed to drag counselors out of their dens for that I will not get in trouble for. I am sorry if our hours do not fit the bus schedual, but I ride that particular piece of Hellishness as well. You will not get any pity from me, so stop sending invitations to your party.
I am not making up steps in the registration process just to annoy you. I am annoyed enough for the both of us. Your behavior is not helping my sarcasm. We have three basic steps and only two real pieces of paper work. If this is some how too complicated, please, rethink your education choices. College may not be the best place for you. (This is not to condemn those returning to school for self-betterment or those coming to learn basic literacy. I understand that you are not used to the paperwork and am glad to help. Those too lazy to show up for basic orientation three times in a row? Please stop wasting my time.)
Yes, all of those little boxes do need to be filled out.
As amazing as it sounds, I really do need your full name, printed legibly, your SSN/Student ID, your reason for coming to the walk-in, and your birth date. I have no problem helping you fill this out, but these must not be left blank, and sometimes I still need further clarification. You see, 1. I must pull your transcript for you to see the counselor. If your name is John Smith/Amanpreet Singh/Jose Martinez there may, perhaps, be others will similar names. Your birthday clears things up immensely. 2. All school paperwork requires either your social security number or your Student ID. No exceptions. If you value your privacy, please use the Student ID. I actually prefer to see this. I don't want to see your SSN any more than you want to give it. 3. You have exactly 15 minutes. The wait time is between 2 seconds and two hours. Quite possibly the only real training I have is in what takes how long and what steps I can handle for you in the counselor's stead. Something that takes an hour long appointment is not going to be done on a walk-in. You may wait all you like, the counselor will simply tell you to make an appointment. A leave of absence on the other hand, takes all of five seconds (for you, it is a fifteen minute odyssey for the student worker involved) and counselors do not touch them. So, as you can see, reason is important.
And no, "to talk to a counselor" is not an acceptable answer to "Why do you want to see a counselor today?" Nor is "counseling".
Are you illiterate?
Because when you come up to my desk and ask me if this where you make counseling appointments, I have to physically restrain myself from looking at the sign that hangs literally *three feet* above my head that says COUNSELING APPOINTMENTS.
(Don't worry too much though, I think at least three of our counselors are illiterate too. And at least two should be declared legally deaf and/or blind.)
Best Phone Call EVER!
It's my very last week of work. Monday morning, maybe 10am or so. I will never, ever have to set foot on the grounds of Community College again after this Thursday. So far it had been a pretty slow day, normal nice people, normal sucky people. Then I get a phone call...
Me: "Community College Counseling. How may I help you?"
SC: "I'm calling for my son. He wants an appointment with a counselor. What times do you have available?"
Me: "Well, we don't have any appointments until school starts. Would you be willing to do a walk-in?"
SC: "At what times?"
Me: "Well, as of right now the times are <lists ever walk-in time from Monday until Thursday>."
SC: "So that was <repeats it back incorrectly>."
Me: "No, it was <repeats it back, slowly and clearly>."
SC: "Right." *click*
Ooookay. Odd reaction, but whatever, I'm not really letting anything bother me at the moment.
Phone rings.
Me: "Community College Counseling. How may I help you?"
Same lady: "You're not a nice person." *click*
WTF? I cracked up! Apparently there was something about my tone this woman just Did Not Like. I swear I wasn't being sarcastic, caustic, or even condescending. My boss was sitting right next to me and said she didn't think I was either, but this woman decided my goodness as a human being over one short phone call AND decided to share (without even checking if I was the same person she had just spoken to)! The best phone call I have ever gotten in over two years of working there and it was five seconds long. What was really funny was that for the rest of the day I got tons of compliments on my patience and good humor!
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