It's been awhile since I posted, though I continue to lurk. It just got kinda depressing after the initial commiserating angry thrill. But moving past that stage, I have a few pet peeves and stories to share.
* *
The rewards card is not the best place to take a moral stand. I don't care if you don't think it's worth it, or if you think it's some corp conspiracy, or if Competitor's card is better. I will not try to persuade you with the shiny purple promise of a brand new card, only to laugh from my secret evil island laboratory lair as you receive little to nothing. (Because all cashiers are really Evil Overlords with private islands and legions of terror). Let me break it down into parts that reveal far more than I ever really cared to know myself.
Quarters: Much like the elementary school year, the rewards card rewards are broken into quarters. At the end of every quarter, you may wait eagerly by the mailbox for the wondrous packet of treats you've so diligently earned.
Rebates: For every hundred bucks you spend, you get a dollar back in rebates. I don't know who made it or why, and even though it sounds sucky, it's better than nothing. Since I spend half my money there anyway, I for one will be happy to receive the rebates.
Gas: Another hundred bucks dealy, only this time you get ten cents off every gallon. And I don't care what Competitor is doing, I use to work for them, and let me tell you, the only reason you might get a better deal from them in the gas rewards regard is that they jack up their prices and pay their employees shit.
Random Coupons of Happiness: 20-30% off shoes, 2-3 bucks off beauty products, apparel coupons, flower coupons, dairy, school supplies, etc. It was interesting to see the various shoe coupons, because different people had different percentage rates. The more you spend, the higher the rate?
Corporate Conspiracy to Know What You're Buying, How Often and the Most Effective Way to Slip Subliminal Messages Through the Packaging - ... wait. Wrong list. Cancel that. But you will all be my slaves one day.
* *
Write your check while I'm ringing up your groceries. The end price has no mystical influence on the date, your name, what you're buying or where you're buying it from. All of that information is ready and waiting by the time you've entered my line. That way, when I'm done, all you have to do is fill in the price, and we're on our way.
This is really a minor thing. Some people just hang out, and aren't even price watching or doing anything that could significantly impair their ability to make the transaction faster. They just stand there. Wth.
**
Let's play Scatter Coupons!! It almost sounds fun. Except for the part where I pick up every single one of them, even the ones you've stuffed into shoes and package crevices, and place them on the counter in a growing pile, because COUPONS ARE DONE AT THE END. Unless there isn't a barcode, in which case, you should just hand me the whole pile and let me riffle through them. That should be the standard and I don't know why it isn't.
Thing is, people will throw their coupons everywhere, and then demand in a panicked Sky-is-Falling voice if I saw them, or do I have them, or what happened to their coupons???? And then I point out the pile on the counter in front of them. Yes, yes I did find the coupons you jammed in the bundle of children's socks. Good thinking, socks are a much more secure and cozy place than the sweaty clutching stumps you're calling fingers.
**
Wait, wait, you have bags! These are the people who put up all their groceries first, their whole cartload of groceries, and then five or six plastic bags into my checking, their emergency environment protection reactors kick in, and they flail about in a clumsy attempt to shove their cloth bags at me. I will not repack your items. I don't care. Give me your bags at the beginning and save us all this needless suffering.
Honestly, I kind of like packing the cloth bags. It's like Grocery Tetris. How can we get everything to fit into one bag? A minor distraction from my normal brain-numbing interactions. Maybe it's just a nerdy cashier thing...
* *
Your transaction is done. Please step over here and pay now. These are the girls who will talk to each other about how bitchy their friends are, about the miscellaneous celebrity drama on the tabloids, about every random thing on earth that only they find important... and ignore the cashier. I generally find no problem in this, it pains me enough to have to overhear these conversations, let alone be a part of them. Unfortunately, these girls have often not mastered the complicated multitasking abilities necessary for yapping away about nonsense *and* paying for whatever critical item that has brought them out of their sororities.
* *
Just in general, the grocery store is not where anyone should be trying to prove their worth or status. Get your items and gtfo.
So that's what's happening in groceryland. Just the same kinda nonsense as ever. Work friends really help the day go by plus they help keep my sanity intact. After three months, I'm pretty well settled and everything besides my customers is well. Huzzah.
* *
The rewards card is not the best place to take a moral stand. I don't care if you don't think it's worth it, or if you think it's some corp conspiracy, or if Competitor's card is better. I will not try to persuade you with the shiny purple promise of a brand new card, only to laugh from my secret evil island laboratory lair as you receive little to nothing. (Because all cashiers are really Evil Overlords with private islands and legions of terror). Let me break it down into parts that reveal far more than I ever really cared to know myself.
Quarters: Much like the elementary school year, the rewards card rewards are broken into quarters. At the end of every quarter, you may wait eagerly by the mailbox for the wondrous packet of treats you've so diligently earned.
Rebates: For every hundred bucks you spend, you get a dollar back in rebates. I don't know who made it or why, and even though it sounds sucky, it's better than nothing. Since I spend half my money there anyway, I for one will be happy to receive the rebates.
Gas: Another hundred bucks dealy, only this time you get ten cents off every gallon. And I don't care what Competitor is doing, I use to work for them, and let me tell you, the only reason you might get a better deal from them in the gas rewards regard is that they jack up their prices and pay their employees shit.
Random Coupons of Happiness: 20-30% off shoes, 2-3 bucks off beauty products, apparel coupons, flower coupons, dairy, school supplies, etc. It was interesting to see the various shoe coupons, because different people had different percentage rates. The more you spend, the higher the rate?
Corporate Conspiracy to Know What You're Buying, How Often and the Most Effective Way to Slip Subliminal Messages Through the Packaging - ... wait. Wrong list. Cancel that. But you will all be my slaves one day.
* *
Write your check while I'm ringing up your groceries. The end price has no mystical influence on the date, your name, what you're buying or where you're buying it from. All of that information is ready and waiting by the time you've entered my line. That way, when I'm done, all you have to do is fill in the price, and we're on our way.
This is really a minor thing. Some people just hang out, and aren't even price watching or doing anything that could significantly impair their ability to make the transaction faster. They just stand there. Wth.
**
Let's play Scatter Coupons!! It almost sounds fun. Except for the part where I pick up every single one of them, even the ones you've stuffed into shoes and package crevices, and place them on the counter in a growing pile, because COUPONS ARE DONE AT THE END. Unless there isn't a barcode, in which case, you should just hand me the whole pile and let me riffle through them. That should be the standard and I don't know why it isn't.
Thing is, people will throw their coupons everywhere, and then demand in a panicked Sky-is-Falling voice if I saw them, or do I have them, or what happened to their coupons???? And then I point out the pile on the counter in front of them. Yes, yes I did find the coupons you jammed in the bundle of children's socks. Good thinking, socks are a much more secure and cozy place than the sweaty clutching stumps you're calling fingers.
**
Wait, wait, you have bags! These are the people who put up all their groceries first, their whole cartload of groceries, and then five or six plastic bags into my checking, their emergency environment protection reactors kick in, and they flail about in a clumsy attempt to shove their cloth bags at me. I will not repack your items. I don't care. Give me your bags at the beginning and save us all this needless suffering.
Honestly, I kind of like packing the cloth bags. It's like Grocery Tetris. How can we get everything to fit into one bag? A minor distraction from my normal brain-numbing interactions. Maybe it's just a nerdy cashier thing...
* *
Your transaction is done. Please step over here and pay now. These are the girls who will talk to each other about how bitchy their friends are, about the miscellaneous celebrity drama on the tabloids, about every random thing on earth that only they find important... and ignore the cashier. I generally find no problem in this, it pains me enough to have to overhear these conversations, let alone be a part of them. Unfortunately, these girls have often not mastered the complicated multitasking abilities necessary for yapping away about nonsense *and* paying for whatever critical item that has brought them out of their sororities.
* *
Just in general, the grocery store is not where anyone should be trying to prove their worth or status. Get your items and gtfo.
So that's what's happening in groceryland. Just the same kinda nonsense as ever. Work friends really help the day go by plus they help keep my sanity intact. After three months, I'm pretty well settled and everything besides my customers is well. Huzzah.
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