The dumbest questions from customers

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I had a doozie today while helping out w/the stock crew (long story, which I'll post over in the Work forum in a bit)

I'm stocking the front wall of monthly promo items and I hear (very faintly over the noises around me) a lady asking "Is this Tuesday?"

I didn't turn around at first, as I was in the process of cutting out part of the side of a case of corn muffin mix to add to the others on the wall. I also thought at first that someone else was with her.

A moment later, I heard her again. "Excuse me, Ma'am," she asked.

I turned around and replied "Yes Ma'am?"

"Is this Tuesday?"

*blink blink* "Yes, it is Ma'am." I turned around to go back to the stocking.

So what are some of the dumbest questions you've heard?

[Quicksilver]

Too bad she didn't have something in her hand, you could have said "No ma'am, that's not tuesday, it's a .........."

The dumbest question from a customer was when I had one jerking on the door at 11-30 pm (we closed at 11) and the lights were off and he kept starting at me and I went over and through the glass door, I could hear him asking....."Are you open?"

The dumbest question from an employee is self explanatory. I asked him to put something on the top shelf over the dish sink. He left, came back and asked:

"Which one's the top shelf?"

I had to think for a minute.............

[hecubus]

This one comes second hand, but one of the dumbest questions I've ever heard of was told to me by my friend, Jason, who worked at Blockbuster.

A guy cam in and asked Jason for a particular movie. Jason told him it was a new release, so it was on the outside wall, to which the customer asked:

"And where is the outside wall located?"

[dispatch]

*while working in a warehouse* "you guys haven't seen a box around here have you?"

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Wearing a blue Kinko's oxford and a navy kinko's apron. Kinko's nametag. Standing behind Kinko's counter. Customer approaches:

"Do you work here?"

Dumb little college chick: "Can I get this right away, or will I have to wait a second?"

Old Fart: Can you change the color of this?
Me: Yes, sir.
Old Fart: What can you change it to?
Me: Any color you like.
Old Fart: And what color would that be?
Me: I don't know, sir.
Old Fart: Why don't you know?
Me: Because you haven't told me yet. (and yes, I did say it.)

It used to piss me off no end when they would ask to have their papers "binded" , but one guy made me have to compose myself before continuing by asking to have a paper "bounded." I still shudder. "Sure thing, sir. Would this be an English paper you want 'bounded', by any chance?"

Me:answering phone) Kinko's open 24 hours, how may I help you?
Idiot: What time do you close?
Me:We are open 24 hours, sir.
Idiot: Oh. Okay, what time do you open?
Me: Sir, we are open 24 hours. We don't close. So we don't open, either. You come down here anytime, and we will be here. Okay?
Idiot: (pause) Cool. How late you all open on Sunday?
Me:

[powerboy]

The dumbest one I got, was when I was working at Walmart while working during Blitz

SC - Stupid customer
ME - Cart Crew

SC: Where is all the carts?
ME: Inside
SC: I just came from inside, there is none
ME: Well that is because all the customers are using them
SC:
ME:

[ArenaBoy]

I've got two that killed my intelligence for the night.

One: Where is the east entrance? (Customer does not see the East entrance sign in BIG white letters that is right in front of him.)

Two: Is the basketball team playing tonight? (Again does not see all the signs advertising the damn team.)

[Sir Spaniard the 12th]

"
The dumbest question from a customer was when I had one jerking on the door at 11-30 pm (we closed at 11) and the lights were off and he kept starting at me and I went over and through the glass door, I could hear him asking....."Are you open?"

I had a moment very like this a years back. It was sometime really early in the morning (between midnight and 3am - we're 24 hour ) and we'd had a powerout for around an hour. How bad was it? Outside, the only lights that were on anywhere near us were the traffic light that was about 2 kilometres away. The whole suburb was kaput.

What happened? A car pulls up, drives through the PITCH BLACK suburb, into the PITCH BLACK gas station, and stares at us while we sit in the dark playing cards with torches. For several minutes. We stare back....
His gears eventually clicked into place with the above question....

"Are you open?"

*sound of crickets chirping*

[Ryu]

while taking tickets at my job in uniform
"wheres an employee you dont work here do you? oh you do work here!?"
what time does the showing at x time start? not always a stupid question but always worded in a stupid way with few exceptions

[Cole]

I get this call every morning... around 8-9am

me: Goodmornig (Store), Cole Speaking, How can i direct your call?
Sc: Ummm what time do you open?
me: we OPENED at 8am
Sc: so your open now (it was 8:45)
me: yup, we open at 8am everymoning
sc: so satruday you'll be open at 8am?
me: yes ( Didn't i tell just you we opened at 8 everymorning, and besides if we wern't open why would i even answer the phone and ask how i can help you, instead of saying we're closed call back later!)

[Broomjockey]

"Is this Tuesday?"

*blink blink* "Yes, it is Ma'am." I turned around to go back to the stocking.

So what are some of the dumbest questions you've heard?

I gotta say, before I got my current watch with all its nifty info displays, I almost never knew what day of the week it was. I didn't need to know. All I had to remember was which class I had yesterday, and I knew what class I had today. Then there are the times where it just feels like a different day. It's a difficult phenomenon to explain. Those of you who have had the feeling know what I'm talking about.

You wanna talk stupid questions though...

"What time does the next movie start?"
7 o'clock
"Don't you have anything sooner?"
Of course, we just don't want you to see it.

"What time does the 7 o'clock show start?"
Umm, 7 o'clock? (And they're usually happy with that response.

You're in theatre number 8, on the right hand side. *Points*
"Where's theatre number 8?"

It's so bad some days that even the manager who is most customer service oriented says "Our customers check their brains at the door, it's our job to think for them."

[repsac]

Of course, "Do you work here?" is always a classic, but work in a hardware store some and you'll get some doozies. Like:

Cust: Do you have any left hand screwdrivers?
Me: (thinks it's a joke and starts laughing.) Yeah. Right there by the instant water. Just add water."
Cust: (getting pissed) I'm not kidding. I need a Left hand screwdriver!
Me: You're serious aren't you? (look of shock)
Cust: YES! my son said I need one so I want one! To go with the left hand screws!
Me: You sir, are an idiot. (and yes, I said that. Management cracked up)


Uh, do you sell wood? (asked while standing in the lumber dept.)

Cust:Is Plywood waterproof?
Me: Depends. Most isn't.
Cust: Oh. And what happens if I get it wet?
Me: Did you seal it?
Cust: (shifty look) Uh....no?
Me: Probably swell up and come apart. Why?
Cust: So, making a boat out of it would be a bad idea?
Me: You have to ask?

Cust comes in carrying a glue that's water soluble. (most wood glues are fyi.)

Cust: I used this stuff to glue my (mumble grumble) together and it came apart. This stuff sucks. I want a rebate.
Me: Your what?
Cust: Mutters something.
Me: Sir, I can't return it unless I know how you used it.
Cust: I glued a patch on my boat.
Me: Ah. Yeah. You can't do that.
Cust: WHY NOT! It's glue!
Me: (points to the small sign) It says here, do not get in contact with water..."

[Spiffy McMoron]

*Customer picks up a bottle of Fuel System Cleaner*
"What does this stuff do?"

*Customer hands me an old bullet. It was a .300 Winchester Magnum, I think*
"So, can I use a .300 British in this gun?"
(Uh, sure, if you want it to explode in your face!)

[TheRoo]

Years ago, I worked at a gas station 3rd shift in Minneapolis.

SC:Can you tell me how to get to Cleveland?
Roo:Just go down University about 5 miles. (There is a Cleveland Ave in St Paul)
SC:No I mean Cleveland Ohio.(And he looks at me like I am the dumb one)

[heather124]

I work in a DVD store. One day I had a customer hand me a DVD that was clearly marked $5 and asked me how much it was. I pointed out the price tag and said $5. When she grabbed another clearly marked dvd and asked how much it was, again I pointed at the price tag and told her $10. So what makes this DVD $5 and this DVD $10 she asks? I just looked at her and said, the price tag.