"Did you have sex with her?"

[Jester]

though seriously am I the only one bothered by the fact that someone thought that was a good conversation to be having at the library at all, much less the courtesy phone?

Courtesy phone, no. Loudly on the courtesy phone, no.

But who among us has not had inappropriate conversations with their friends at the library? Seriously.

Take it to the cleaners. Laundering is their specialty, you know

Once again, I turn to the wisdom that is George Carlin:

"Ask your dry cleaner if he can get pecker tracks out of a wedding dress."

I used to tell people not to piss me off. I had 80 acres plus a tractor and a backhoe.

One of my favorite lines to use with my nieces' dates is "I have a lot of friends with boats and entire ocean to work with." I'll need a new version once I move back to the desert, of course.

Where's Billy Mays when you need him?

I can only hope DEAD! I could have the fucking tv on MUTE and that asshole would wake me up!