INVISIBLE JEW

[Legal Eagle]

Can i ask something i've long wondered?

In England, PANTS!?! could mean either trousers or underwear depending on which part of the country you are from, which is it that everyone is so desperate to buy from you?

[Spiffy McMoron]

In England, PANTS!?! could mean either trousers or underwear depending on which part of the country you are from, which is it that everyone is so desperate to buy from you?

I've not had the pleasure (?) of talking to GK's customers, but I would imagine that they are looking to purchase trousers.

-Spiffy

[Imogene]

Hot Tips for America
He was just really really sure that we could make artificial clouds using steam and that these clouds would be the single most feared weapon ever deployed.

Man, I know I'd have dropped a load if these guys were operating these mystical ethereal clouds...

As for Twilight: Bad reviews from the media, whereas, say, Bolt got high marks!
Saw a preteen girl before work yesterday, with a home-made bvlack shirt with white puff paint that labeled her: "Twilight: I am OC(letter/words I never saw) compulsive vampirism) for vampires"
And I had to choke back laughter.

[Wenchie]

Thanks. Wench.

SC: “Yeah, cancel my call. I found someone cheaper than you.”

Well, hurray for you. Maybe you should do your comparison shopping before you call, agree to the estimate and have the service guy already halfway to your place. You know, just a thought.

Wench.

But.... not all wenches are bad. T_T

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Gravekeeper, I have no idea how you do it. If I had to deal with half of what you go through, I'd be sitting in a clock tower with a bag of Oreos and a high-powered rifle right now.

[Kirkygirl]

"We Have Gone Nuts With The Phones"

Oh poor poor GK. I feel your pain...sort of.
Long live the idiots of Vancouver! And its general vicinities!
...Until they decide it's a good idea to become road pizza and cause a 50 car pile-up somewhere on Cambie.
On Friday.
Afternoon.
Just before the holidays.

Man I am just evil sometimes.

I seriously don't know how you deal with all this stupid phone crap. I can only imagine what Nunavut is like with all the stupid phone calls they make. Maybe it's just a small portion of the population that is ruining the repuation. I hope.

[Mike Taylor]

Farked if I know. ><

Mutant idiots with the power to telepathically communicate with phones?

[KhirasHY]

Any post with a Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Legend of Zelda reference gets a post from me lol, I feel your pain Gravekeeper with the Twilight talk, I work in a used bookstore and I'm tired of the tweens and even adults turning into screaming, jumping up and down morons when we do have the book, they get that giggle going like they heard penis for the first time lol. oh BTW Gravekeeper you rock

Don't forget Star Fox

[Mistress of Foxes]

and the finale of my week....

As I got off the bus a few blocks from my house and walked to the corner, my foot slipped. Ice. The first ice of the season. I caught myself and made this proclamation, word for god damn word:

"Oh ho!? Upping the difficulty level today, are we? Very well, foolish asphalt! I accept your challenge!"

If you're going to make vengeful proclamations at inanimate objects. It's best to make sure that no one else got off the bus behind you and is still in earshot.

Had I been the one getting off the bus behind you, I'd have laughed my ass off

Just to top it off, they were all convinced the movie was actually called “Twilight Zone”.

I... They... ARGH! Why are so many from my generation so mind-numbingly stupid?

Did I have to use my hookshot to pull the backpack away and expose his weak point?

If all else fails, use fire! Use fire, you magnificent bastard!

“You know you need to get some Jews in here. Jews’ll set you on fire.”

...Sh*t.

[Jester]

I fled to the nuts and took refuge amongst them.

Sounds to me like you fled from the nuts, as you often do. Kind of amusing that you found refuge from the nuts in the nuts, don't you think?

His insane muttering continued till I heard him drop something on the ground at which he screamed, and I quote yet again: “STOP IT YOU INVISIBLE JEW!”.

At this point, I was tempted to point out that I am a magician, I do perform illusions, and I am of Jewish descent (though not a practicioner of the religion itself). Hey, you never know, it might have been me visiting Canada!

“SHE’S BLOWING ME NOW! SHE DOES IT INVISIBLY!”

...and at this point, I gave up the above idea, as I am neither a "she" nor much into giving large ogre-like males blow jobs. Despite what some people may say about me.

The last thing I hear behind me as he comes up to the cashier is: “You know you need to get some Jews in here. Jews’ll set you on fire.”

Well yes. Yes we will. But only if we (a) have a flame thrower handy, and (b) really, really don't like you.

A dress shirt. With a skull on it.

Personally, I rather like the shirt in question. It would go nicely in my wardrobe, thank you very much.

It’s pretty hard to be bad ass in a dress shirt.

Speak for yourself, phone boy.

SC: “Cus I swear on my sister’s grave I’ll pay fer it!”

Nothing says "good credit rating" like oaths made upon one's relatives' burial sites.

If you're going to make vengeful proclamations at inanimate objects. It's best to make sure that no one else got off the bus behind you and is still in earshot.

Personally, I would have not only laughed, but if you didn't look like a raving lunatic (like so many people who ride the bus and, apparently, frequent the 7/11 you frequent), I probably would have also had some witty comment. Such as "And now the game's afoot! Good luck, but I am giving strong odds to the asphalt." Or some such smartassery.

I... They... ARGH! Why are so many from my generation so mind-numbingly stupid?

What makes you think it is limited to your generation? Stupidity is like cockroaches--it's been around forever, and it doesn't look like it's going anywhere anytime soon!

[cawaker]

actually that icey asphalt quote sounds like something right out of Family Guy, I could see Mayor West or Stewie saying it .

[Becks]

Guy got on, sat in front of me….bleach blond bed head hair, blue bandanna and bright yellow shirt with a collar high enough to be suitable for hang gliding. This guy thought he was stylin’ too. He kept standing up to check out his reflection in the window so he could probably flare his amazing flannel neck wings. He thought he was amazingly cool. I almost felt kind of sorry for him.

I have neighbors from the closest apartments coming over wondering why I'm laughing so hard.

[karma_gypsy]

Me: “You want two?”
SC: “Yeah”
Me: “Same size?”
SC: “Yeah.”
SC: “Ok”
Me: “Huhuh huh…I just want shirts with a skull on em.”

I think you boo-booed ...



Unless you actually said that ....

[RootedPhoenix]

"Oh ho!? Upping the difficulty level today, are we? Very well, foolish asphalt! I accept your challenge!"

If you're going to make vengeful proclamations at inanimate objects. It's best to make sure that no one else got off the bus behind you and is still in earshot.

><

See, that would just make me think you were cool.

Me too. I'd try to make some sort of witty peanut gallery comment, or I'd just fall over laughing, thus making my own comedy bit.

[Gravekeeper]

Personally, I rather like the shirt in question. It would go nicely in my wardrobe, thank you very much.

Well if I was a magician I might be able to pull it off. But alas I am devoid of magical talents. The only talent I possess is that what you see here; those of a bitter scribe.

Damn finger waggler. ;p