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Today is Thanksgiving in Americalandialand. How do folks celebrate it in my city?
Do they get together with friends and family? NO.
Do they have a nice dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce in the shape of a can? NO.
Do they watch the Detroit Lions lose their 752,495th consecutive football game? NO.
What do they do? They get up at oh-dark-thirty, drive over to my store, and stand outside turning their bits to dry ice, waiting to purchase a Nintendo Wii because our ad guarantees 18 Wiis per store at opening today.
And today's crowd of Wii-wishers turned out to be, well, Wii-tards.
As I was heading out the door to leave, these two guys were all like "GREAT! We're good to go!" and started for the door and tried to push past me, until I threw my arm out to block them. Sorry Spanky, one more hour to go!
Another lady asked me "Excuse me, is this the line for Wiis?" Well let's see here, there is only one line of people at the door, and everybody in it is excitedly discussing what games they're going to want with their Wiis. So yes, it probably is the line for Wiis.
Then as I was getting in my car, some other lady came charging out of a minivan and hollered at me "Am I going to be able to get a Wii?" Well, there are 18 Wiis in the store available for purchase, and a quick survey of the masses huddled by the entrance seems to indicate slightly more than 18 masses huddling. So you do the math here.
Today we're also running a special where the first 200 customers to make a purchase of at least $25 get a free pumpkin pie, so those 18 Wii customers will take care of 18 pies right there. Not that these pies are anything to scream about--they're the same piddly little pies the grocery store across the street sells for 8 bucks when it only cost them about 3 bucks apiece to make them, and they're basically an appetizer for me.
Plus they're all going to get hot coffee once they're in the store, since our district manager mentioned it would be a nice thing to do for the people waiting for Wiis, so of course that means "If you value your job here, you WILL make these people coffee", so my last task of the day was scrubbing out the groaty, crud-encrusted coffee urn in the breakroom. It disgusting.
Yawn. I tired. I sleep now. Then I stuff my face. Then I sleep more.
Do they get together with friends and family? NO.
Do they have a nice dinner of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce in the shape of a can? NO.
Do they watch the Detroit Lions lose their 752,495th consecutive football game? NO.
What do they do? They get up at oh-dark-thirty, drive over to my store, and stand outside turning their bits to dry ice, waiting to purchase a Nintendo Wii because our ad guarantees 18 Wiis per store at opening today.
And today's crowd of Wii-wishers turned out to be, well, Wii-tards.
As I was heading out the door to leave, these two guys were all like "GREAT! We're good to go!" and started for the door and tried to push past me, until I threw my arm out to block them. Sorry Spanky, one more hour to go!
Another lady asked me "Excuse me, is this the line for Wiis?" Well let's see here, there is only one line of people at the door, and everybody in it is excitedly discussing what games they're going to want with their Wiis. So yes, it probably is the line for Wiis.
Then as I was getting in my car, some other lady came charging out of a minivan and hollered at me "Am I going to be able to get a Wii?" Well, there are 18 Wiis in the store available for purchase, and a quick survey of the masses huddled by the entrance seems to indicate slightly more than 18 masses huddling. So you do the math here.
Today we're also running a special where the first 200 customers to make a purchase of at least $25 get a free pumpkin pie, so those 18 Wii customers will take care of 18 pies right there. Not that these pies are anything to scream about--they're the same piddly little pies the grocery store across the street sells for 8 bucks when it only cost them about 3 bucks apiece to make them, and they're basically an appetizer for me.
Plus they're all going to get hot coffee once they're in the store, since our district manager mentioned it would be a nice thing to do for the people waiting for Wiis, so of course that means "If you value your job here, you WILL make these people coffee", so my last task of the day was scrubbing out the groaty, crud-encrusted coffee urn in the breakroom. It disgusting.
Yawn. I tired. I sleep now. Then I stuff my face. Then I sleep more.
"You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer." 
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