Homosexuals shouldn't work foodservice

[Lackwit]

*some language*

Well, I had a first today. Now, working a pizza parlor, I've had some interesting complaints. One can count on complaints about product quality or service time, with the occasional rudeness complaint thrown in. (My personal favorite was the lady who complained how rude the "black girl" at the counter was, at a time when no such person was on our payroll--turned out she was thinking of Pizza Hut.)

I've had people accuse me personally of rudeness, of racism, and of poor hygeine. But today...

Today was the first time I had a customer complain about the fact that I am gay.

Now, I'm not even sure whether this guy was actually referring to me or to my closer, a goofy kid with a mop of hair worthy of Shirley Temple. I didn't really care, I was sort of in shock. Here's how it went:

*RING RING*
Me: Thank you for calling *X Pizza*! Would you like to try *such and such*?
Guy: No, I wanna talk to a manager.
Me: I'm a manager, can I help you?
Guy: I came in and bought a pizza a little while ago.
Me: Mm-hmm?
Guy: And the guy working was a homosexual.
Me: What?
Guy: Yeah, he was a queer! Was it you?
Me: Yes, I suppose that was me.
Guy: You queers have no business handling peoples' food! All you queers fucking have AIDS anyhow! I'm never eating there again! I don't wanna get sick!
Me *after taking a deep breath*: Well, if you weren't perfectly satisfied with your purchase, sir, you may call the Customer Service Line. The number is on your box. *hang up*

Honestly, all I could do after I hung up the phone was laugh. I mean, what? Like I said, I'm not even sure he was talking about me (I don't have many overt tendencies, or so I'm told, so what tipped him off?). I don't know if this guy was just trying to get someone's goat, or if he honestly was worried about getting the HIV from eating homosexually prepared pizza, but I wouldn't let myself get mad about it. It really isn't worth anything more than a chuckle at the dickhead's expense. I only hope that the dude's fear of contagion is going to be enough to make him keep his promise.

[Quicksilver]

You handled it well. When you just hang up-they get the point. let's hope he did too.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Guy: You queers have no business handling peoples' food! All you queers fucking have AIDS anyhow! I'm never eating there again! I don't wanna get sick!

What a completely rediculous thing for him to say. I am ashamed to acknowledge such a fool.

I have a couple of questions for this guy, though:
1) If you really were afraid of getting AIDS from a pizza, why did you buy it?
2) How the hell could you "see" his sexuality?
3) I'm sure that you realize that the guy from the pizza place is comfortable in his sexuality, concidering he told a complete stranger that he was gay (Yes, Lackwit, I read the part where you said that you weren't gay-I'm just humouring him). After you said your piece, what were you expecting him to do? Renounce his orientation? Ask to borrow a Hustler? Maybe chat about manly things, like football, bowling, and shooting things that move? Perhaps a coupon good for one free AIDS test?
4) Seriously, have you concidered going to the hospital/medical center and just picking up an STD awareness pamphlet or two? You could do worse things with your time.

Lackwit, I'd say that you aren't losing much of a customer there.

[ladyklack]

People's irrational fears astound me. This reminds me of the time I was trying to sell a pair of binoculars to a customer and she asked me if I could open a new pair for her to look through instead of the display pair because, according to her, AIDS could be transmitted from eye to eye contact. Last time I checked eye boogers couldn't transmit AIDS any more than nose mucous.

[Moirae]

I'm... floored. There's no words for how rude he was to you.

[chainedbarista]

it's a rudeness spawned from ignorance, stupidity and hate...what throws me is the whole aids thing.

the info has been out there on transmission for how long? this guy needs to crawl back under that rock that he's been hiding under for who cares how long and stay there...

[Lackwit]

(Yes, Lackwit, I read the part where you said that you weren't gay-I'm just humouring him).

I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is! . Naw, seriously, the guy apparantly had me pegged, I suppose. Maybe I was walking funny? (I'm told I don't usually throw many "tells".) As to why the fella bought the pizza in the first place, apparently it just clicked with him after he walked out the door, "Hey, waitaminute! That was one of them fairycake nancyboys!" My guess is that he just didn't have the cojones to confront some poor wage-slave schmuck about his choice in partners to his face. Either that or he was actually just calling on a lark, to give someone a little grief for no reason, because I really don't know how he could tell I'm gay. My poor closer B is convinced that he must have served the guy, because of his longish hair (which looks more goofy and boyish than gay).

Either way, it was more shocking than infuriating, and me and B enjoyed a good few, if somewhat sober, chuckles over it.

[Rubystars]

.

I've had customers tell me they think they can gets AIDs from almost anything. Really, if it were that easy to get, I think that every place would be as bad as some parts of Africa are as far as infection goes.

Now, some customers have a very nasty habit of taking a bite out of a piece of fruit and then setting the fruit back down with the other fruits, like a plum, or a peach. One day when roma tomato was bitten in half and the remaining half set down with the other tomatoes, a customer remarked with disgust "Eww, I'm not buying any of those tomatoes! I could get AIDs from them!" While it is a very disgusting thing to do and I didn't like seeing it either, there's no way the customer complaining was going to get AIDs from that kind of thing.

More recently I had a sick customer coughing all over the check-writing counter, and the next customer came up, and I asked her to wait a moment so I could clean it off for her, because I didn't want her to get the previous customer's cold. She went into "Oh, thank you, and for all I know, he could have AIDs, and I wouldn't want to catch that!" I told her that the chances of her catching AIDs from something like that were probably nil, but she insisted you could catch it that way.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Okay...I know someone looks gay when it's a guy, with spikey pink hair, wearing a rainbow on his shirt, kissing another man, holding a sign that says "Out and proud". Other than that, how does someone LOOK gay?

Someone that dumb, though, I would have just HAD to screw with that guy. "How did you know I was gay? You know, we can sense each other. ...you didn't 'just know' when you saw me, did you?"

[Kusanagi]

That HAD to have been a prank call. Nobody could be THAT dumb.

Yes, even AFTER reading this site, I STILL think this must have been a prank call.

[Lackwit]

Yes, even AFTER reading this site, I STILL think this must have been a prank call.

That's what I'm hoping--that a crank caller inadvertantly got a real live gay involved in his little prank and ran with it. However, to me, the guy sounded older than prime crank-yanking age -- late thirties to early forties at least.

[AFpheonix]

What, you didn't trill "FAAAAABBBBBULOUS!!!" at him? I would have...

[Jester]

That guy was an idiot. Just a complete moron. AIDS from a pizza? Come on now. Everyone knows that you can only get AIDS from Mexican food! Or...wait...is it pasta?

"Hey, waitaminute! That was one of them fairycake nancyboys!"

A couple good friends of mine use that phrase, "Nancy boys," but not in a derogatory way about gay men--it's more of a way of calling someone a wuss. As in "I can't stay out late tonight, I have to work in the morning." "Shut up and stop being such a Nancy boy!"

Okay...I know someone looks gay when it's a guy, with spikey pink hair, wearing a rainbow on his shirt, kissing another man, holding a sign that says "Out and proud". Other than that, how does someone LOOK gay?

You haven't ever been to Key West, have you? Actually, there are many very open and brazen people here of several orientations. Myself, I get asked often enough if I am gay, or have had people assume I was. (The most bittersweet one was when a hot chick at one point complimented my butt, and then half an hour later asked, "Jester, are you gay or bi?" I am neither.


Now comes the portion of the program where I relate a joke to you, and hope that the mods won't think it is too out of bounds. To cover my butt, I will state a disclaimer...

DISCLAIMER: The following joke is of an adult nature. It is not meant to demean or harm or offend anyone, but some of its content is such that if you are easily offended by adult humor, you might want to skip to the next post or just watch the pretty colors off in the west. This joke is not meant to be, nor should it be taken to be, discriminatory against anyone due to their race, creed, national origin, sex, age, gender, sexual orientation, species, political affiliation, height, weight, eye color, opinion about the Kennedy assassination, or sports team preference (unless they are fans of the Denver Broncos). Also, no bears were harmed in the telling of this joke.

A hunter goes up into the mountains for a weekend with his buddies. As he is there in the forest, he spies a deer. Figuring he has any easy one in the bag, he lines up his sights. Before he can shoot, though, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, and standing there is a very large grizzly bear. The bear looks at him and says, "Okay, here's the deal. I caught you hunting in my woods. Now you have a choice....I can either maul you to death, or you can let me do you." The hunter, not particularly fond of death, submits to the second option, and the bear has its way with him. Humiliated, the hunter goes home, but plots revenge.

The next weekend, the hunter goes off on his own, back to the mountains, looking for the bear. Creeping along silently for hours, he finally spots the bear. He lines the bear up in his sights, and pulls the trigger....but his rifle jams! As he is fixing the jam, he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's the bear. The bear looks at him and say, "Oh, you again. Well, you know the deal. Which is it going to be?" The hunter, realizing he is caught, again submits to the bear's sexual desires.

The following weekend, the hunter goes back yet again to the mountain forests, this time armed with a bazooka. He is bound and determined to get that bear, if it's the last thing he does. He sneaks around the forest the whole weekend, looking for that bear. Finally, near the end of the second day, he is about to give up, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's the bear. The bear looks at him and says....

"You're not really hunting, are you?"

[Barefootgirl]

Jester, you come here and clean coffee off my monitor NOW !

[Lehk]

I don't know if this guy was just trying to get someone's goat, or if he honestly was worried about getting the HIV from eating homosexually prepared pizza, but I wouldn't let myself get mad about it.

best part is you can have an ebola patient make your pizza and be perfectly safe.

in new york gloves are not even required for making pizza because the oven kills everything except mad cow disease, which you don't get from someone's hands