I Know These Things!

[Leztwerp]

I was working the deli at my store the other day when a lady comes in and orders a pound of cheese thin. She makes a point of saying very thin so I slice it really thin. Paper, almost see through thin.

I package the cheese and hand it to her.

CB- Cheese B**ch

Me- The powerful wizard of leztwerp (and the thoughts of said wizard)

---

CB- "You know that it much to thick." (Crazy lady says what now?)

Me- "Excuse me?"

CB- "The cheese its much too thick...Do you know how many calories are in cheese? Now I can only use one slice instead of two!"

Me- "Do you want me to slice more cheese?" (well there goes a pound of too thin cheese in the trash)

CB- "No, no I'll take it but you really should hold up the slices as your slicing it so the customers can see them. I own a delicatessen. I Know These Things!" (Oh so this is why your buying convenience store cheese)


The door to the back office is right next to the counter the slicer is on. My boss who's sitting in the office can here everything and is shaking with laughter.

The lady leaves and i cut another slice and turn to my boss.

Me- "How thick does this look to you"

Boss- *eats cheese* "Much too thick, i'll never be able to deal with all these calories"

Me- "You know you owe me, I was good"

Boss- Yeah you didnt curse or anything. You want a star?"

[Meegz]

Soooooooooo she owns a deli but comes to you? So many things wrong with that.

You don't even know how many people want THIN. THIN for them is out of question. my mother used to run a deli and they'd want thin, but they'd want it anywhere between shreds and paper, which is almost impossible.

And geez the thicker the cheese the more calories, DUH!

[Mr Hero]

CB- "The cheese its much too thick...Do you know how many calories are in cheese? Now I can only use one slice instead of two!"

But each slice is twice as thick so it even out.

[Apathy]

Maybe she could, oh I don't know... not eat cheese if you're so damn concerned about how many calories it has.
Maybe being a picky bitch burns a lot of calories.

[AccountingDrone]

My local deli loves me, we like THICK slices, so you only use one instead of several to make up what you want ... what is the purpose of peeling off 3 or 4 thin slices, that might rip if you can slap on a nice thick hunk of horseradish swiss and a nice thick slab of smithfield ham ...

damn, now i am hungry=(

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Maybe she doesn't like chewing?

Or when she vomits up digestive fluid, thinner cuts of everything disolve more quickly.

(Guess who just watched the Fly.)

[Chanlin]

CB- "The cheese its much too thick...Do you know how many calories are in cheese?

Yes, yes I do. Do you realize you will burn off most if not all of those just by taking a shower in the morning.

Now I can only use one slice instead of two!"

I fail to see how this is my problem. For that matter for someone so concerned about calories if you really want to cut back why not only use one slice, or none at all. or you know, if you like cheese so much consider cutting or changing other parts of the meal you'll be using the cheese with.

[Crow The Robot]

She know's these things and yet she's buying her cheese from a convienience store than from her own deli. Mmm-hm. She knows "things" all right.

[Belari]

God I hate that. I have people who want shaved cheese (WTF is that??) and people who say "That turkey is too thick" until I have it so thin it's crumbles, then they bitch that it's not holding together properly. Then there was the lady who wanted thin salami. So I cut it and showed her a slice. She okayed it. 2 pounds of salami later she says it's too thick and won't buy it. I think from now on I will slice them when they bitch about the thickness of their slices.

[MTNLaurelPoacher]

CB- "The cheese its much too thick...Do you know how many calories are in cheese? Now I can only use one slice instead of two!"

Soooooo.... you were planning on using the same amount of cheese anyway?

Is your diet so strict that a few extra grams of cheese is going to ruin it?

Is your sandwich that long that you need two pieces of cheese to cover it. Why not build up instead?

[mharbourgirl]

My local deli loves me, we like THICK slices, so you only use one instead of several to make up what you want ... what is the purpose of peeling off 3 or 4 thin slices, that might rip if you can slap on a nice thick hunk of horseradish swiss and a nice thick slab of smithfield ham ...

damn, now i am hungry=(

So am I, and it's all your fault! If you don't tell me right now where I can find this mysterious but irresistible concept of horseradish swiss cheese, I'll... I'll...

well, I'll sulk. AND whine. So there.

Horseradish makes almost ANYTHING better.

[Hyndis]

God I hate that. I have people who want shaved cheese (WTF is that??) and people who say "That turkey is too thick" until I have it so thin it's crumbles, then they bitch that it's not holding together properly. Then there was the lady who wanted thin salami. So I cut it and showed her a slice. She okayed it. 2 pounds of salami later she says it's too thick and won't buy it. I think from now on I will slice them when they bitch about the thickness of their slices.

What is with all of these thin-sliced fetishes?

I love thickly sliced turkey for sammiches. Thick slices of cheese as well. Its so yummy.

[Chromatix]

There is only one thing that should be put on sandwiches thinly.

Marmite.

[AccountingDrone]

So am I, and it's all your fault! If you don't tell me right now where I can find this mysterious but irresistible concept of horseradish swiss cheese, I'll... I'll...

well, I'll sulk. AND whine. So there.

Horseradish makes almost ANYTHING better.

nave commisary, subbase nlon, groton ct

[crashhelmet]

I'm surprised she didn't pull the "It's thicker than I asked for, so I shouldn't have to pay full price for it" suck.

CH