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I work as a customer service representative for a large retail store chain. we handle catalog orders, questions, etc... the following is the most interesting call i've had. and i'm still not certain if the guy was trying a scam, very stupid, or both.
please keep in mind that the whole time he's talking it sounds like every word takes effort on his part to get out. also, this was a very long call so parts of it will just be summarized.
me: hello, this is mandy. how may i help you?
sc: i'd like to buy a gift card.
me: okay, may i have your last name and zip code please?
sc: *gives me them, then asks* how much comes on a gift card?
me: as much as you want sir, you choose the amount. and will you be paying buy credit card today?
sc: how much does a gift card cost?
me: well, that depends on how much you put on it sir.
sc: $400?
me: then that would cost $400. will you be paying by credit card today?
we go through verifying his information, and get to the credit card.
me: okay, and you wanted $400 on that?
sc: yea
me: did you want a to/from message on it?
sc: a what?
me: if you're giving this to someone as a gift would you like it to say to and from on it.
sc: oh, to bryan simpson.
me: okay, and can you spell the last name for me?
sc: b r y a n
me: ...okay, and how do you spell simpson?
sc: oh, i don't know.
me: ...okay, well, I have bryan spelled b r y a n and-
sc:that b r y, b r y a n.
me: okay sir, and the most common spelling of simpson is s i m p s o n, will that work?
sc: okay.
go through rest of the ordering process, and he wants a catalog sent out to him with the gift card. now i get to the credit card part and there's a problem. he reads it to me and it comes up 2 digits short, i ask him to repeat it and it's a completely different number. i apologize and ask him to repeat it again and this time it fits, however...
me: i'm sorry sir, it's showing me that the card is invalid, I may have missed a digit somewhere, would you like to repeat it to me just one last time?
sc: can i get another one?
me: another gift card?
sc: no...umm...can i get an account with you? a retail account?
me: (we don't do anything with the actual retail stores, and i'm trying to figure out what he's referring to) ...
sc: can i get a catalog
me: we'll be sending on out with your gift card...do you no longer want to order the gift card?
sc: yea
me: okay, i'll cancel this order and then i can send you out just a catalog.
sc: do you have any big catalogs?
me: well, we carry two master catalogs, but unfortunately the only ones we are currently shipping out right now are our christmas catalog and our saltwater master.
sc: r e d h e a d
me: the redhead catalog? yes, we carry that, but we're not currently shipping it out.
sc: i have the r e d h e a d catalog. i want another catalog.
me: okay, did you want the christmas catalog or the saltwater?
sc: how big is the saltwater?
me: one moment sir, i'll find out for you.
sc: does it have crossbows?
me: i doubt it sir, it's primarily fishing equipment, but i believe our christmas catalog does, let me check. okay, the christmas catalog does have crossbows in it. would you like me to send you that one?
sc:how big is it?
me: one moment sir.
sc: what's your biggest draw weight on your crossbows, on all your crossbows.
me: i'm sorry sir, there's no way for me to find that information for you without looking at each individual crossbow. i'd suggest you call your nearest retail store, would you like me to find that number for you?
sc: nah
me: okay, we'll be shipping out our christmas catalog to you and it should be arriving within about two weeks. is there anything else i can do for you?
sc: can i get an account with you?
me: (he has one, so again i'm trying to figure out what he means) ...
sc: a credit card account?
me: okay, you want to apply for a credit card.
sc: yes
we offer two different credit cards so i ask him which one he wants to apply for, and it's the one that's the bigger pain to do.
me: okay, i'll need to get some more information from you. would you like your middle initial to appear on the card?
sc: yes
me:...
sc:...
me: okay, and what is your middle initial?
sc: r a y
me: i'm sorry, I can only put one initial sir.
sc: oh, ray.
me:...
sc: r
me: okay, and your date of birth.
sc: hold on................**/**/****
me: and your social security number?
sc: ***-**-****
me: and your annual income?
sc: 643
me: ... 643...thousand?
sc: yes, thousand.
me: okay. next i have to read the disclaimer to you sir, it's a bit long so just bear with me.
sc: did it go through? do i get the card?
me: i have to read the disclaimer before i can submit the application.
sc: okay
me *reads the disclaimer, submits the application* sir?
sc: did it go through?
me: actually, sir, it's telling me that it requires additional processing, may i place you on hold while i contact the bank?
sc: so...did it go through?
me: not yet, may i place you on hold?
sc: oh, okay...
i contact the bank, get to the bank lady (bl), she tells me to conference him in, i do so
bl: okay, can i have the reference number?
me: okay, it's -
sc: wait, let me get a pencil. (he doesn't actually need it, so i wish she had asked me before telling me to conference him in) okay
me: *reads the reference number
bl: okay, and may i have you last name and first name sir?
sc: rory, r o r y (the first name on my accout for him, that he confirmed, is steven)
bl: okay and your first name?
sc: rory
bl: okay, rory's your first name, may i have your last name?
me: actually ma'am, the name on the application was steven *******.
bl: was that steven with a v or a ph?
sc: s t e v e n
bl: okay sir.
sc: did it go through?
bl: hold on a moment while i process that sir.
sc: okay.
bl: okay sir -
sc: did it go through?
bl: actually i'm showing that it was denied. is there anything else i can help you with sir?
sc: *click*
please keep in mind that the whole time he's talking it sounds like every word takes effort on his part to get out. also, this was a very long call so parts of it will just be summarized.
me: hello, this is mandy. how may i help you?
sc: i'd like to buy a gift card.
me: okay, may i have your last name and zip code please?
sc: *gives me them, then asks* how much comes on a gift card?
me: as much as you want sir, you choose the amount. and will you be paying buy credit card today?
sc: how much does a gift card cost?
me: well, that depends on how much you put on it sir.
sc: $400?
me: then that would cost $400. will you be paying by credit card today?
we go through verifying his information, and get to the credit card.
me: okay, and you wanted $400 on that?
sc: yea
me: did you want a to/from message on it?
sc: a what?
me: if you're giving this to someone as a gift would you like it to say to and from on it.
sc: oh, to bryan simpson.
me: okay, and can you spell the last name for me?
sc: b r y a n
me: ...okay, and how do you spell simpson?
sc: oh, i don't know.
me: ...okay, well, I have bryan spelled b r y a n and-
sc:that b r y, b r y a n.
me: okay sir, and the most common spelling of simpson is s i m p s o n, will that work?
sc: okay.
go through rest of the ordering process, and he wants a catalog sent out to him with the gift card. now i get to the credit card part and there's a problem. he reads it to me and it comes up 2 digits short, i ask him to repeat it and it's a completely different number. i apologize and ask him to repeat it again and this time it fits, however...
me: i'm sorry sir, it's showing me that the card is invalid, I may have missed a digit somewhere, would you like to repeat it to me just one last time?
sc: can i get another one?
me: another gift card?
sc: no...umm...can i get an account with you? a retail account?
me: (we don't do anything with the actual retail stores, and i'm trying to figure out what he's referring to) ...
sc: can i get a catalog
me: we'll be sending on out with your gift card...do you no longer want to order the gift card?
sc: yea
me: okay, i'll cancel this order and then i can send you out just a catalog.
sc: do you have any big catalogs?
me: well, we carry two master catalogs, but unfortunately the only ones we are currently shipping out right now are our christmas catalog and our saltwater master.
sc: r e d h e a d
me: the redhead catalog? yes, we carry that, but we're not currently shipping it out.
sc: i have the r e d h e a d catalog. i want another catalog.
me: okay, did you want the christmas catalog or the saltwater?
sc: how big is the saltwater?
me: one moment sir, i'll find out for you.
sc: does it have crossbows?
me: i doubt it sir, it's primarily fishing equipment, but i believe our christmas catalog does, let me check. okay, the christmas catalog does have crossbows in it. would you like me to send you that one?
sc:how big is it?
me: one moment sir.
sc: what's your biggest draw weight on your crossbows, on all your crossbows.
me: i'm sorry sir, there's no way for me to find that information for you without looking at each individual crossbow. i'd suggest you call your nearest retail store, would you like me to find that number for you?
sc: nah
me: okay, we'll be shipping out our christmas catalog to you and it should be arriving within about two weeks. is there anything else i can do for you?
sc: can i get an account with you?
me: (he has one, so again i'm trying to figure out what he means) ...
sc: a credit card account?
me: okay, you want to apply for a credit card.
sc: yes
we offer two different credit cards so i ask him which one he wants to apply for, and it's the one that's the bigger pain to do.
me: okay, i'll need to get some more information from you. would you like your middle initial to appear on the card?
sc: yes
me:...
sc:...
me: okay, and what is your middle initial?
sc: r a y
me: i'm sorry, I can only put one initial sir.
sc: oh, ray.
me:...
sc: r
me: okay, and your date of birth.
sc: hold on................**/**/****
me: and your social security number?
sc: ***-**-****
me: and your annual income?
sc: 643
me: ... 643...thousand?
sc: yes, thousand.
me: okay. next i have to read the disclaimer to you sir, it's a bit long so just bear with me.
sc: did it go through? do i get the card?
me: i have to read the disclaimer before i can submit the application.
sc: okay
me *reads the disclaimer, submits the application* sir?
sc: did it go through?
me: actually, sir, it's telling me that it requires additional processing, may i place you on hold while i contact the bank?
sc: so...did it go through?
me: not yet, may i place you on hold?
sc: oh, okay...
i contact the bank, get to the bank lady (bl), she tells me to conference him in, i do so
bl: okay, can i have the reference number?
me: okay, it's -
sc: wait, let me get a pencil. (he doesn't actually need it, so i wish she had asked me before telling me to conference him in) okay
me: *reads the reference number
bl: okay, and may i have you last name and first name sir?
sc: rory, r o r y (the first name on my accout for him, that he confirmed, is steven)
bl: okay and your first name?
sc: rory
bl: okay, rory's your first name, may i have your last name?
me: actually ma'am, the name on the application was steven *******.
bl: was that steven with a v or a ph?
sc: s t e v e n
bl: okay sir.
sc: did it go through?
bl: hold on a moment while i process that sir.
sc: okay.
bl: okay sir -
sc: did it go through?
bl: actually i'm showing that it was denied. is there anything else i can help you with sir?
sc: *click*
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