You'll regret this, I'm <fill in the blank> (give us your best answer!)

[Mr Hero]

I've had two SC's in our hotel who started out polite, but as soon as they found out that we wouldn't be adjusting their rate because they haven't caused trouble, the guy said he knew Tom Martino. He also threatened to call the BBB on us.

[Imogene]

said he knew Tom Martino

"...Congrats...? *aside to a coworker* Who the F is Tom Martino?"

[Nashida]

I remember somebody here posted a story that got turned into a strip about a customer who pulled the "I'm married to your boss" card, but the person's boss was a lesbian or something and the SC was a guy.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"...Congrats...? *aside to a coworker* Who the F is Tom Martino?"

A consumer advocate with a radio program, or at least he was.

[Gravekeeper]

You'll regret this, for I am Space Emperor Multor.

I'd use that line too, honestly. But, well, there's something wrong inside of my head. ;p

[Darkwish]

I haven't really had any that were worth trying to remember, but a friend got one way back when we were both working at Packard Hell.

A little background - the restore disks were supposed to restore things back to how they came from the factory. But being Packard Hell, they ROYALLY SUCKED. In fact, there was one disk that would actually turn the whole system into a paperweight it was so bad (and it was the 4th revision)!

Well, at the time, we were told that either the system had to be in warranty or they had to pay with a credit card to get any help.

This guy called in, system was out of warranty so my friend went through the procedure to get the credit card payment. This set the guy off, big time. He says he's a VP of the company (over the department that designed those horrid recovery disks no less) and starts rattling off names of various executives and managers (which he actually gets right!), but there isn't enough to actually PROVE that he was the VP he was claiming to be. So, not wanting to get in trouble by breaking the rules my friend told him where he could stick those recovery disks and if he really was who he said he was, he should not only know how to use them, he now knows how bad they really are and should start making better ones! He eventually hung up on the guy since he couldn't prove he was an employee and they guy wouldn't pay.

Now, this isn't the end of it, oh no! As it turns out, the very next day, word comes down that the guy REALLY WAS THE VP!!! And of course, the entire conversation - how abusive the guy was, trying to get free service, etc. (including the various comments and observations my friend made), had been documented on his account for everybody to read! (Yes, we shared the interesting case notes with each other.)

They had the most senior tech call the guy and fix the problem... all he had to do was stick in the restore disk and reboot. You know, just what the instructions printed everywhere in the various documentation and on the disks said to do. The irony? The version he had was the disk that would totally fubar the system!

Nothing ever happened to my friend since he followed company policy by the book!

[Mark Healey]

One of our local bookstores (Half Price Books) offers a discount card for teachers. It's my understanding that it's supposed to be for books and stuff to be used in the classroom.

Which is why we don't offer a discount to teachers. I've had people buying everything from astrology to gay porn to fashion to cookbooks asking for a teachers discount. I once saw a woman showing books to a (presumably) her kid and asking if she would like it. Later she comes to the counter and asks for a teachers discount. Fuck 'em. They're as bad as retirees.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Had the pregnancy card pulled before; a woman felt she couldn't wait in a queue cuz of being up the duff. -.- She kept waving her money around trying to attract mine and my collegue's attention after she pulled the card, but we both ignored her cuz you know, there were other people in front of her!

Oh yeah, and I've had someone in the line in front of me try to excuse their child's bad behaviour (running up and down and grabbing items at random) by saying "My daughter can't help it, she's autistic!" Of course, my immediate response was, "So am I, and I know how to behave in public!" Mother: XD

Never had anyone claim to be someone important... yet. xD

[Mamadrae]

Had the pregnancy card pulled before; a woman felt she couldn't wait in a queue cuz of being up the duff. -.- She kept waving her money around trying to attract mine and my collegue's attention after she pulled the card, but we both ignored her cuz you know, there were other people in front of her!

Oh yeah, and I've had someone in the line in front of me try to excuse their child's bad behaviour (running up and down and grabbing items at random) by saying "My daughter can't help it, she's autistic!" Of course, my immediate response was, "So am I, and I know how to behave in public!" Mother: XD

Never had anyone claim to be someone important... yet. xD

I did the pregnancy one kind of. Was in line at a gas station just wanting to pay for my gas and chocolate bar and this old bastard was doing the lottery. I'm 3rd in line, 8 months along with the bowling ball, and waiting...and waiting....and waiting...

Finally a second worker gets up there since the first can't seem to get the older guy to move away with a crowbar. The two people in front of me were nice enough to let me go first.

[Sheldonrs]

...Only time people get a discount is when they take it up with the owners. We do give discounts to certain charity groups. I remember way back when I first worked there, we had a child from the Make a Wish foundation. They got everything free.

Poor kid could barely do anything, had to leave because he was feeling sick, and said as they left that this was the "best day ever".

I cried. T-T

I do that a lot. But I feel good too.


As for the original post, I think I posted a while back about the movie director that called when I worked for the software company and when we told him he would have to pay $16.00 dollars to replace his broken disk, he used the "Do you know how big I am" line.

[Darkwish]

he used the "Do you know how big I am" line.

If someone tried that line on me, the most likely response would be something along the lines of "That sounds like a personal problem and you should talk to your doctor about it."

[raw456]

When I worked for the coin company years ago, my favourite request was always:

"Discount? I pay cash?"

As most of our items were quite expensive (average $3-5k) they thougth that by paying cash would get them a cheaper price.

Upside was if you did knock a hundred bucks off or so, they would usually give you the difference as a tip

[Blade_Raver]

Heh, Mr. holier than thou "Retail Consultant" should find a different line of work if he doesn't understand the concepts of receipts, inventory, loss prevention and proof of purchase.

[Imogene]

or at least he was.

Hurray, he's no lnger around, so that threat is essentially useless?

"Do you know how big I am"

*look said customer up and down*
Either:
"Er, no, but those leather pants are giving me a good idea..."
Or:
"Er, no, but you can only hope nature was kind enough to bless you there, as your face isn't worth it..."

[Nashida]

If someone tried that line on me, the most likely response would be something along the lines of "That sounds like a personal problem and you should talk to your doctor about it."

Sounds like something Bossman!K said once.

SC: "Do you have any idea how BIG I am?"
K: "Well, sir, sometimes being hung like a buffalo isn't always that great..."