Misadventures in Pizza-Making

[pizzaparlorchick]

I work in a chain Pizza Place in a small town. We get some real idiots...

I have to clean that up!
During the summer, a hobo-ish looking lady would always come in and steal napkins, cups, newspapers, and random items from our store, and we didn't really make a big deal out of it. She looked like the lady from the 2nd pirates of the Carribean who gave them the bag of sand.
She's the only person in the store, and she's sitting in the corner booth, ROLLING TOBACCO. She has little pieces of paper and she has a HUGE can of rolling tobacco. She would come in about once a week and roll the tobacco, and then leave the mess all over the table. It was nasty

You can get your own food
We have a pizza/salad buffet every evening. Here's what transpired with one SC who ordered the buffet
*walked over to his table*
Me: How are you enjoying your pizza?
SC: Can you get me a slice of pepperoni and a slice of hawaiian from the buffet please?
Me: Thinking: you can get your own food Sure sir.
*I return with is pizza*
SC: Thanks so much!
And a buffet means getting it yourself! Idiot sucky customer

Who do you think I look like?
A lady comes in for a carry out order of pizza.
Me: And the name on that please?
SC: Well what name do you think I look like?
Me: You know, I'm not really sure.
SC: Oh, come on! Do I look like a Patsy? or a Suzie? or a Amy? or a --
Me: Well I guess you look like a Sarah.
SC: Oh great! And you look like a Brandi!
Me: Well, my name is Rachel. (And I look like a Rachel too)
SC: Well maybe you were a Brandi in your pastlife!
Yeah, I seriously doubt that

Just Plain RUDE
We are right around the corner from another pizza place, but there's is nasty and tasteless and greasy. The following happens quire a lot actually.
*phone rings*
Me: Hello this is ____. This is _____ how can I help you?
SC: Yeah, I was wondering if you could give me the number for the pizza place right around the corner from you guys.
Me: I don't have their number, sorry.
SC: Do you guys have a phonebook around? Maybe you could look it up for me.
Me: You know, I really don't think my manager would be too happy to know that I gave our customer another pizza place's phone number.
SC: But I'm not your customer.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't have that number. *click*

Oh, Nevermind That Order!
SC Calls in pizzas
Me: Thanks for calling ___ how can I help you?
SC: I would like to order (spouts off LONG list of pizzas)
Me: Wow. 4 pizzas and breadstix! Feeding a crowd?
SC: Yeah, Having a party!
Me: Well, your total is $xx.xx.
SC: You know what, scratch that order. I think I'll order from the people down the street. Thanks anyway.
I spent like 5 minutes on the phone with this SC and he cancels his order?

Actually, its A-LON-ZO
So a customer came in to pick up his pizza.
Me: Are you Elfonzo? (not looking at the ticket, and accidentally mispronouncing his name)
Customer: lol actually it's A-lon-zo.
Customer's Friend: hahahaha
Me: sorry Alonzo.
This one was just kinda funny to me lol.

[Kirkygirl]

The way that I see it, at least you didn't have to deal with a bunch of idiocy regarding that large order about size and type and toppings etc. That's probably why the guy went to the other place. Orrr it could be just that the guy is a cheap bastard, wanting the cheap and poorly crafted stuff. You get what you pay for.

[Estil]

Geez, with all these people calling about "that other pizza place", I'm guessing taking calls at your pizza parlor cannot be good for your self-esteem.

[Can I have a cheeseburger]

The one I can possibly sympathize with is the customer who didn't want to go over to the buffet. If they are handicapped, then it might be too much for them to not only walk over to the buffet but to carry the food back to the table without dropping the food. I know where I used to work, some seniors had a lot of trouble carrying food and drink without spilling either all over the place. On a couple occasions I had to help a couple people carry food to their table. That wins back customers.

[PepperElf]

I have to clean that up!

I take it the cigarette lady was NOT buying any pizza. I can understand being nice letting someone homeless (or hobo) stay inside to get out of bad weather or something like that... but not when they're making a giant mess. *boot to the door* in my opinion if they're just there to roll smokes and not buy anything!

Who do you think I look like?

OOO Creative freedom to come up with the worst name you can think of.
names like Eunice, Bertha, ... anything from "Booty Call" or Frank Zappa's children.

Just Plain RUDE

Agree.
get your own phonebook.

Elfonzo

Sweeeeet. The Fonz ordered pizza from you!

[zigcat]

Just Plain RUDE
We are right around the corner from another pizza place, but there's is nasty and tasteless and greasy. The following happens quire a lot actually.
*phone rings*
Me: Hello this is ____. This is _____ how can I help you?
SC: Yeah, I was wondering if you could give me the number for the pizza place right around the corner from you guys.
Me: I don't have their number, sorry.
SC: Do you guys have a phonebook around? Maybe you could look it up for me.
Me: You know, I really don't think my manager would be too happy to know that I gave our customer another pizza place's phone number.
SC: But I'm not your customer.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't have that number. *click*
.

If it were me I would not have apologized. In fact I tell them straight out that they're disrupting our business. It's my job to serve our customers not to play directory assistance for someone who has no intention of doing business with us.
I tell them they can pay the $1.50 or whatever it is to actually call directory assistance. That's what they're there for.

Besides, how did he obtain your number?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Heh, at the pizza place where I used to work, we had people mostly calling us after they'd called the other place down the road. XD Calls went like this:

Me: Hello, this is *pizza place*, Lace speaking how may I help you?
Customer: Hi, I just went to *Shit Pizza* and their pizza is disgusting.
Me: Yup, it sure is. Our pizza is yummy tho, and cheaper than theirs, too.
Customer: In that case... *orders*

Come to think of it, they probably had people asking them for our number all the time. XD Difference is, they gave it to them.

[Dark Psion]

Me: Well, my name is Rachel. (And I look like a Rachel too)
SC: Well maybe you were a Brandi in your pastlife!
Yeah, I seriously doubt that

Well, you may not have been Brandi in your past life, but after seeing what you deal with, I do see Brandy in your future.

[corporateslave]

:SC: Oh great! And you look like a Brandi!
Me: Well, my name is Rachel. (And I look like a Rachel too)
SC: Well maybe you were a Brandi in your pastlife!

I kind of like that crazy lady.

[sanchopanza65]

At least, at my local CiCi's Pizza BUffet, they will bring the pizza out to you when it's ready if you want a type that's not currently out there. Maybe that's what they were thinking of?

[XCashier]

Who do you think I look like?
A lady comes in for a carry out order of pizza.
Me: And the name on that please?
SC: Well what name do you think I look like?

"Hm, let's see...Medusa? Baba Yaga? Hel?"

Sorry, lady, I left my crystal ball at home. Perhaps you might want to avoid this silly game-playing by actually, oh, I don't know, telling me your name?!

Seriously, was that all about? Some people.

[Mr Hero]

Just Plain RUDE
We are right around the corner from another pizza place, but there's is nasty and tasteless and greasy. The following happens quire a lot actually.
*phone rings*
Me: Hello this is ____. This is _____ how can I help you?
SC: Yeah, I was wondering if you could give me the number for the pizza place right around the corner from you guys.
Me: I don't have their number, sorry.
SC: Do you guys have a phonebook around? Maybe you could look it up for me.
Me: You know, I really don't think my manager would be too happy to know that I gave our customer another pizza place's phone number.
SC: But I'm not your customer.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't have that number. *click*

In this case I would have turned the question around on them. Can't YOU get the number from a phonebook?

[Pagan]

She looked like the lady from the 2nd pirates of the Carribean who gave them the bag of sand.

Calisto? You've got a pissed-off sea goddess coming in? Hope you brought your flippers and snorkel!

She's the only person in the store, and she's sitting in the corner booth, ROLLING TOBACCO. She has little pieces of paper and she has a HUGE can of rolling tobacco. She would come in about once a week and roll the tobacco, and then leave the mess all over the table. It was nasty

Well, at least it was just tobacco. Considering some the more....um....exotic things we've all encountered in our retail lives.

Well, you may not have been Brandi in your past life, but after seeing what you deal with, I do see Brandy in your future.

Along with Tia Maria and Margarita!

[cinema guy]

:Customer: lol actually it's A-lon-zo.
Customer's Friend: hahahaha
Me: sorry Alonzo.

"Allons-y Alonzo!" Just wanted to say that.

[Can I have a cheeseburger]

Sometimes I feel like I'm a directory assistant when I answer phones at the book store I work at. There are three book stores on my campus, one is the main store where I work at, there is a satellite store on the edge of campus which sells a small number of books but is operated by us, and there is a store that sells used books which is operated by student council and has nothing to do with us. We do, however, also operate a computer store on campus.

It's amazing how many people call our store thinking they are calling the other book store, the computer store, or the unrelated used book store. Fortunately we can quickly transfer them to another store, as the university phone system allows anyone to transfer calls to anyone else on campus.