You're insane...I'll bet you think this post is about you...

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

I loved those customers that walked in the door JUST as you approached it to hit the lock.
That's when the "Oh, I need one thing and I know where it is and I'll be outta here in 30 seconds" chant began.
Uh, no.
We've been open for 12 hours straight and I've been on my feet for almost as long. The only part of me that doesn't hurt right now is my @$$ so pucker up, baby.

[MadMike]

Ran back, grabbed quite a few bottles of wine (no hard stuff in the shop, but wine worked!) and were out the door with two minutes left to spare.

My wife and I found ourselves in a situation like that once. We stopped at Arby's to grab a bite to eat before we left for our friends' New Years Eve party. It was a few minutes before 8:00. Just as we had placed our order, I noticed several people cleaning and mopping, so I asked, "Are you closing early tonight?" They said yes, they were closing at 8:00. Not wanting to hold them up (I used to hate it when it was done to me), we got our order to go, and were out of there one minute before 8:00.

Just as we were leaving, three more cars pulled in. I felt so bad for the people who got stuck dealing with them.

[Becks]

So, I respond in the only way that seems logical at the moment, I start cussing him, his mother, his car, his clothing, his taste in women, and make several questionable comments on his sexual prowess/history.

I'm sure that many people would find that preferable to getting stomped on the face.

Unless people are into facial pain...

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

Unless it's a life-or-death situation (and let's face it, 99.9% of the time it's not), I won't even stop in the last few minutes of a store's open time. Granted, open hours are open hours no matter if you just unlocked the door or if it's 2 minutes to close.
I just don't want to be that guy who walks in at the last minute and gets the 'look'.
And you know the 'look' I'm talking about. The one that easily translates into "And what the hell could YOU possibly want at this moment that you couldn't have gotten earlier in the day?"
I've given it myself...many a time.

[Knightmare]

I stopped into a supermarket just as the manager was starting to unlock the front doors. This was about 3 years ago, when my daughter was a newborn.

We ran out of diapers. Actually, we didn't run out, but "somehow" (see below) all of them got waterlogged, and we needed some FAST! So I run up there, and just begging "Please, I just need ONE THING! PLEASE!"

He gave me "the Look" and I ran over to the diaper section, grabbed what I needed and ran up to the check out.

The manager was there, looking at me, surprised that I actually got the one thing I needed, and knew where it was.

"Rough day?" he asked.
"It was going very well, until our eight year old wanted to see how many diapers would float in a tub of water."

He tried to hold in his laugh.. you could see it in his face. I just told him to go ahead, and he and the cashier both started laughing hysterically.

I gave them the sheepish grin, told them thanks, and was on my way.

I did call the store the next day to tell the GM what he did for me and how nice and courteous he was. He's still there, and everytime I see him, I think he's pretty glad that we don't need diapers anymore.

[CrazedClerk]

I hate it when it's relatively dead like 15 mins or so before close and then right AT close one or sometimes several customers roll in....

[Mark Healey]

That's dispicable. I hate when people know you are closing and come in your store anyway, and/or take their sweet time making their final purchases.

I have a simple algorithm for dealing with this. When closing time comes I flip the sign, turn off the neon sign and close (but don't lock the door). I then start a 15 minute countdown. If there are no sales I kick everyone out. If there is a sale I reset the countdown.

So far this has been effective.

[Pagan]

Thanks a lot, guys. Now I'll probably hear Carly Simon in my head all night long singing "You're So Vain."

Yeah, well, thanks a lot Demonoid Phenomenon! I hate Carly Simon! But, at least I've gotten rid of "For Your Eyes Only"! We've been playing James Bond themes all night.

I swear, one of these days, I'm going to find out where some of these people work, show up, hang out until well after they're supposed to go home, and see how they like it.

Seriously, there is nothing in our store that can't wait until tomorrow. Plus, we're open 9am-11pm daily. I can't believe that you couldn't have gotten here before 10:58pm, sparky!

Uh-oh, now I've got "Live and Let Die" playing in my head! Please pray for me.

[traylk]

I work in fast food and this is still annoying. Except I get all of the fun drunks and stoners cuz everyplace else is closed.

The worst is the people that come into my lobby 2 mins before it closes. Not one person.....no that would be too easy....no they had to bring 12 of their friends with them. We are supposed to let them eat inside if they want but after having night after night of them sitting there for 2 hrs I just started telling everyone that it's policy that no one that is not a punched in employee was allowed in the store after lobby hrs for security reasons. Fixed that problem.

The fun part is when the drive thru closes and you get the above mentioned "fun people" sitting in the drive thru pleading with the speaker..."Come on man...Just give me a taco....I really need it....I only want a burrito! Hello?" Yeah I'll get right on that...

[Seanette]

Yeah, well, thanks a lot Demonoid Phenomenon! I hate Carly Simon! But, at least I've gotten rid of "For Your Eyes Only"! We've been playing James Bond themes all night.
[snip]
Uh-oh, now I've got "Live and Let Die" playing in my head! Please pray for me.

Of the James Bond themes I'm familiar with, I'd pick "The World Is Not Enough".

[CrazedClerk]

On an OT note, I think "live and let die" would be the perfect song to shoot up a mall to.

Yeah I'm disturbed.

[Jester]

So, I respond in the only way that seems logical at the moment, I start cussing him, his mother, his car, his clothing, his taste in women, and make several questionable comments on his sexual prowess/history.

You wouldn't be single, would you?


On the closing thing, I have actually had the opporunity to do what most of you would have loved to do. Back when I DJ'd at a bar (a clothing optional rooftop bar, no less!), I would basically announce last call, and about 2-3 songs later, I would end the music and cheerfully issue the following announcement, on the microphone:

"Ladies and Gentleman, Bar X is now closed. If you have any open tabs with the bartender, please pay them now. But as I said, Bar X is now closed. So, if you are not staff, if you are not sleeping with the staff, and if you have no plans of sleeping with the staff, it is now time for you to get the fuck out!"