Full moon time! MOVE IT! (long)

[Mara-chan]

I had four jewels of suckyness this full moon (Suck moon?). One I already ranted about, here's the others. Funny thing, two of the three suckages deal with slowpokes, but all three could have been solved by me yelling "MOVE YER BLOOMIN ARSE!" (bonus points for knowing the reference)

First Suckage: The Ramp.

A customer comes in asking about the warranty she bought on a chair. Our extended warranties kick in after the manufacturer's and usually they'll just send out a gift card to replace the chair. The customer just needs to call the warranty number. The lady was perfectly nice about it and went about her shopping.

Her husband, however, was out front in the van. He parked it DIRECTLY in front of our door ramp, which means no one could get in our out if they were in wheelchairs or using carts. So when I had a break in customers I went out to ask him to pull forward (or better yet, PARK IN THE LOT). Just as a side note, he had to be nearly 400lbs, he was HUGE, no wonder the chair broke.

<me> Excuse me, can you move your vehicle, people can't get up the ramp.
<SC> I'm waiting for my wife and someone to get this damn chair out of my car.
<me> *realizing he's the nice lady's husband* Oh, I'm sorry, I told her she has to call the 800 number and they'll replace it.
<SC> WHAT THE FUCK!?! I'M DISABLED! THIS IS BULLSHIT!
<me> ((if you're disabled, you should know not to block the ramp. And FAT is not disabled. See Wall-E.)) I'm sorry, but... *he pulls off*


Second Suckage: Countin' Copies

This customer waited till nearly closing to come in and make a bunch of color copies on self serve. She was a little hard to understand (English was a second language), but she seemed to know how to use the copier.

A little while later, it's nearly closing and she is STILL over there. It shouldn't have taken this long. Apparently her copies keep messing up. So she refeeds it, and it errors. Refeed. Error. One of our guys goes to help her as we close up the store. It runs out of paper. Then she starts erroring again. I don't know WHAT she did to that copier, but it just would NOT work for her.

This is the part that I found sucky....

She compared her 2 copies to see if she had everything. Each time she turned the pages, she licked her fingers.

*lick lick* *turn turn*
*lick lick* *turn turn*
*lick lick* *turn... turn?* Nope, that one needs to be copied. So she would stop everything, make the copy, resort her piles and start again.
*lick lick* *turn turn*
*lick lick* *turn turn*
*lick lick* *turn turn... turn? * (said like Scrubs' Dr Cox) OH. MY. GOD!

She started at about 5:20. We close at 6:00. I let her out that door at nearly 6:40.

Why must people lick their fingers to turn pages?!? And you KNOW we were closed, HURRY UP ALREADY!!!

Not to mention the SIX customers who came up to the door after we were closed. C'mon, it's SUNDAY!

And Finally, Suckage Three: Time. Stands. Still. ...for NINE CENTS.

A Little Old Man (LOM) wanted to make ONE copy. Our copy machines either take a credit card, you can put money in the machine and get a card with that value on it, or you can go to the counter and pay for how many copies you need. Copies are 8 cents a copy plus tax. 9 cents.

<LOM> How do you make copies.
<me> You have to put money in or...
<LOM> I only need ONE.
<me> *spidey senses tingling* Then it'll be nine cents. Do you have a credit card.
<LOM> No.
<me> *spidey senses screaming* Then I'll get you a card to use. It'll be nine cents.

I walk over to the counter to ring out his HUGE sale and give him a card with 9cents credit. He doesn't follow.

<me> That'll be nine cents ((translation: COME PAY!))
<LOM> ...

Suddently a vortex opened in the space time continuum. Time began to stretch in ways only Einstein could imagine if he approached the speed of light. Either that, or this guy was friggin SLOW!

I cannot describe accurately how slow he moved at this point. If you closed this window, restarted your computer, logged back in, read all the other new posts and returned to this post after reading EACH of the following lines you may come CLOSE to the next few 'moments' of this story.

(back to the story)

He looked at me.

<me> Nine cents.

He pulled out his wallet.

He opened his wallet.

He looked in his wallet.

He flipped through the bills in his wallet.

He looked at me.

(and yet he NEVER came any closer to the register. Like 20 feet away)
<LOM> Should I use a credit card? I only have $20's.
<me> You can use a twenty!

He approached the register.

He opened his wallet

He flipped through the bills.

He handed me a $20. I quickly made change and rushed around the counter to show him how to manipulate the controls of the Tardis to restore the flow of time use the copier.

He waddled back to the copier.

I put the card in, hit start and made his copy.
<me> Here ya go. You keep this card in case you ever want to make copies again. Give it to the cashier and she can put more money on it.
<LOM> So I keep this card?
<me> Yup. Okifyouneedanythingelsejustgiveusayellokbye.

I guess time sped up there at the end when I quickly disappeared from his sight.

I hope to god that he wasn't driving. But, it's Florida, so I'm sure he was.

[KnitShoni]

My Fair Lady

Um...what does his being disabled have to do with ANYTHING you said?

[Mara-chan]

Um...what does his being disabled have to do with ANYTHING you said?

He parked his car in the way of the ramp to get into the store. If someone else was parked there, he'd probably be the first one to bitch that he couldn't get in. So if anyone should respect disabled access to a place it should be a disabled person.

[Deceptitech]

First Suckage: The Ramp.

A customer comes in asking about the warranty she bought on a chair. Our extended warranties kick in after the manufacturer's and usually they'll just send out a gift card to replace the chair. The customer just needs to call the warranty number. The lady was perfectly nice about it and went about her shopping.

Her husband, however, was out front in the van. He parked it DIRECTLY in front of our door ramp, which means no one could get in our out if they were in wheelchairs or using carts. So when I had a break in customers I went out to ask him to pull forward (or better yet, PARK IN THE LOT). Just as a side note, he had to be nearly 400lbs, he was HUGE, no wonder the chair broke.

<me> Excuse me, can you move your vehicle, people can't get up the ramp.
<SC> I'm waiting for my wife and someone to get this damn chair out of my car.
<me> *realizing he's the nice lady's husband* Oh, I'm sorry, I told her she has to call the 800 number and they'll replace it.
<SC> WHAT THE FUCK!?! I'M DISABLED! THIS IS BULLSHIT!
<me> ((if you're disabled, you should know not to block the ramp. And FAT is not disabled. See Wall-E.)) I'm sorry, but... *he pulls off*

Ok, this hit me here.

I used to weigh 650 lbs.

That's over 1/4 ton.

That's freaking HUGE.

When I was this size, I was known as "big tiny" by coworkers. "Tiny" weighed 350 lbs.

Now, I was legally obese. And legally disabled. In fact, I was told by the government that I could apply for disability and get what would have been twice what I was making at work. My response was "I can work, I want to work." Sure I had problems, like walking across a hall I would get winded, but I moved around and worked. it always pissed me off that people who were "disabled" because they are lazy would use said disability to be asses. I always called them on it. And back then, despite my size, I never used it as a crutch. I never owned a scooter, and had amazed my doctors that I was as mobile as I was.

And today, after having Gastric Bypass in 2004, I am less than 250. I still loathe people who use BS excuses to get something they didn't earn. Probably why I hate humans so much.

The only disability people like this have is between their ears. A severe lacking in the sense god gave a dead duck.

Sorry for the hijack, but I really get ticked at those people.

[Aisling]

What a frenzied moment that was!
Didn't they maintain an exhausting pace?
'Twas a thrilling, absolutely chilling
Running of the Ascot op'ning race.

Well, the pace was certainly exhausting to deal with at one point there.

[Golden Phoenix]

Ok, this hit me here.

I used to weigh 650 lbs.

That's over 1/4 ton.

That's freaking HUGE.

When I was this size, I was known as "big tiny" by coworkers. "Tiny" weighed 350 lbs.

Now, I was legally obese. And legally disabled. In fact, I was told by the government that I could apply for disability and get what would have been twice what I was making at work. My response was "I can work, I want to work." Sure I had problems, like walking across a hall I would get winded, but I moved around and worked. it always pissed me off that people who were "disabled" because they are lazy would use said disability to be asses. I always called them on it. And back then, despite my size, I never used it as a crutch. I never owned a scooter, and had amazed my doctors that I was as mobile as I was.

And today, after having Gastric Bypass in 2004, I am less than 250. I still loathe people who use BS excuses to get something they didn't earn. Probably why I hate humans so much.

The only disability people like this have is between their ears. A severe lacking in the sense god gave a dead duck.

Sorry for the hijack, but I really get ticked at those people.

I agree completely.

I'm over the 200 pound mark, but i walk to work and back every day, that's two miles a day, double the government's recommended ammount, i am actuve, capable of doing everything on my own (but if you ask me to climb a large flight of stairs you may have to wait for me)

A colleague of mine weighs less than me, she's still big, probably over 200 but closer to it than me. She's got a disabled sticker on her car, her husband gets an attendance allowance and all kinds of stuff, she only works part time and gets government support becaus she's so "disabled".

Now in her case her obesity is due to a thyroid problem, now that's fair enough, but that isn't the reason she's on disablilty, sh'es on tha because she's fat! It's that simple, she's convinced the doctor she's too fat to cope with a full time job (sitting down i might add) so she's on benefits instead.

It drives me mad, especially my mum, who is blind, has just been turned down for assitance because she "copes too well". wtf?

[Deceptitech]

I agree completely.

I'm over the 200 pound mark, but i walk to work and back every day, that's two miles a day, double the government's recommended ammount, i am actuve, capable of doing everything on my own (but if you ask me to climb a large flight of stairs you may have to wait for me)

A colleague of mine weighs less than me, she's still big, probably over 200 but closer to it than me. She's got a disabled sticker on her car, her husband gets an attendance allowance and all kinds of stuff, she only works part time and gets government support becaus she's so "disabled".

Now in her case her obesity is due to a thyroid problem, now that's fair enough, but that isn't the reason she's on disablilty, sh'es on tha because she's fat! It's that simple, she's convinced the doctor she's too fat to cope with a full time job (sitting down i might add) so she's on benefits instead.

It drives me mad, especially my mum, who is blind, has just been turned down for assitance because she "copes too well". wtf?

That is the government for you.

They will let you sit on your ass all day and give you gobs of cash, but if you want to take control of your life, they will deny you 5 dollars you might need to cover bills.

[Chromatix]

I've had that experience with benefits too. You seem to get exactly two categories: you cannot work *at all*, or you are actually working full-time.

In the first case, you get just about enough to live on if you add up all of the separate benefits you're supposed to have, and live frugally. But as soon as you feel like supplementing that meagre income by working a little bit, you run the risk of losing at least half of them. Heck, if you live by yourself in a council house, you run the risk of higher rent (which you cannot afford) if you have a friend stay over for more than half a week.

If you fall into the (large) gap between the two "idealised" categories, you are well and truly farked. In short, if you can't muster the energy to start working, but can't prove to the government's satisfaction that you are unfit for work, you're screwed. Once you have proved that, if you try to work a little bit anyway, you're also screwed because you've just negated your earlier proof.

If I had my way, there would be no question. Every citizen would be entitled to a fixed income, being a proportion of tax revenue shared across the population - minors' income would be given to their parents. Every citizen's earned income would then be taxed at a fixed percentage rate, so that above a certain level of income they are, overall, paying the government rather than being paid. No loopholes, no confusion, minimal bureaucracy - and no cracks to fall into.

[Slytovhand]

"MOVE YER BLOOMIN ARSE!"

Sounds like It Ain't Half Hot, Mum... but no doubt there's other possibilities out there...

Chromatix, there's a tax thread in Fratching you might want to post on.

[Salted Grump]

For the opening quote of 'Move yer Bloomin' Arse', if you append 'Dog' to the end, you get About 40% of Footrot Flats.

(Yep. Me and my derailing tool at work.)

[Kyree]

Knitshoni beat me to it Drat.

Mara-chan. You have more patience then I ever could. I'd be beating people with copiers by now.

[Mara-chan]

Let's see... lots to reply to.

Yes, it was My Fair Lady. I just love that part when she's screaming at the horse.


Being in Florida, I think they hand out handicapped stickers to all retirees as they cross the border.


Ooh... just remembered another sucky customer story, but it's sort-of more a sighting. I'll have to post that in a bit.


I sometimes wish I could be deputized so when I see people parking stupid I could ticket/tazer/shoot them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone park in the Handicapped spot and then rush into the store. No limp. No cane. No leg/arm/back/neck braces. Not too fat, thin or old.

And for some reason it REALLY pisses me off if the handicapped sticker is on a really expensive sports car. If they're handicapped, how do they get into that brand new, totally tricked out, low to the ground CORVETTE?!?


And, unfortunately, I AM paid to have patience. Part of being the 'front end manager'. pffft! It's like becoming a dad, you can't act childish in front of the children. Oh wait, some still do! ^_-

[Dips]

And for some reason it REALLY pisses me off if the handicapped sticker is on a really expensive sports car. If they're handicapped, how do they get into that brand new, totally tricked out, low to the ground CORVETTE?!?

Two possibilities:

1. Fraud. They don't have a disability and somehow convinced a doctor to sign the forms for a placard or are fraudulently using a relative's placard.

2. Their disability causes low endurance, but doesn't affect range of motion. Some folks can move and walk fine for short distances, but tire easily and can't walk far. It can be due to a heart condition or lung disease or being on chemo or any number of other things.

There's really no way to tell whether it is 1. or 2. without conducting a physical exam there in the parking lot. So whenever I see something like that, I just assume it's 2. and that the person is enjoying what they can. It makes me happier.

But back to your OP...

A disabled person who blocks the *wheelchair ramp* is doubly sucky because he ought to know better. Refusing to move triples the suck. What a jerk!

[tollbaby]

Just to play devil's advocate....

I'm overweight. Obese even (I'm approaching 300 lbs). However, I'm not disabled because I'm fat. I am disabled because of chronic rheumatoid and osteo arthritis which I was diagnosed with at age 6 (LOOOOONG before I got fat) and because of some nerve damage to my back when I gave birth (at which point I was 230 lbs). So yeah, I'm entitled to a parking sticker (which I'm currently trying to get because I do have bad days when even getting in and out of a car is agonizing, let alone walking farther than I have to), and I am disabled, but because I'm fat, people make snap judgments about me and decide that I'm just fat, not disabled.

Granted, I do work for a living and very rarely take days off due to my disabilities. I think it's happened twice in the entirety of my career.

[PepperElf]

Fancy cars.

Good point... someone can easily have a disability that affects say the legs... but not affect the upper body. And hey, if he or she is legally allowed the tag, and can afford the car... *shrug* it's their money.

Also... not all disabilities are related to the arms, torso, and legs. One of my friends has tags for her brain tumor, so if something happens to set it off, the car is close at hand. (someone else driving of course) but she doesn't use them much, just when she knows there's a chance something might happen.


now for the OP, maybe I read it wrong, but it sounded like he had parked blocking the ramp itself... Not that he was using a handicapped parking spot, but parked so that other patrons requiring the ramp would be blocked from entering the store... tho i could be wrong.