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"Go on...I dare you!" Fateful last words.

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  • #16
    Oops! I laughed so hard after reading that I woke up my roomy.

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    • #17
      Holy FSM, that was beautiful!

      To the SC's:

      Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

      Comment


      • #18
        Quoth Chanlin View Post
        No Fumar Por Favor.
        No Fumes (FOO-mess) would be even better--command form, second person familiar takes out all possible "respect"
        Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

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        • #19
          Best. Story. Evar.
          Excellent work.

          I loved the failboat, too.
          Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

          http://www.dywhcomic.com

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          • #20
            Owned. Nice.
            "Because that's how magical meteoric size-altering space goo works." IMDB Message boards.

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            • #21
              Let's see...ignoring signs, "convenience English", name-calling and physical violence.

              Those two cretins sucked about as much as two people together can. Great to hear they didn't get away with it.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #22

                Now that's legendary stupidity!

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                • #23
                  Back in the day at Hardee's I spotted a guy smoking in the No Smoking section. I went over to tell him to to put it out.

                  He started speaking German at me. In a very sarcastic tone of voice. He was implying that I was stupid, that I had unwholesome relations with my mom, and that he would smoke where and when he wanted to and there was nothing I could do about it.

                  I leaned in, until my nose was about an inch from his. I looked into his eyes for about a minute, and then I exploded.

                  "SCHEISSKOPF! KONNEN SIE NICHT VERSTANDEN! RAUCHEN VERBOTEN!"

                  Kind of a rapid blinking response.

                  "STEHEN SIE AUF!!! AUSGEHEN!"

                  More blinking, then, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know the rules here." German accent.

                  I told him, "That's why we have signs. Put it out or move to the smoking section."

                  And order was restored.

                  Which was good, because that exhausted a LOT of my college German.
                  I have a map of the world. It's actual size.

                  -- Steven Wright

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Quoth TonyDonuts View Post
                    Back in the day at Hardee's I spotted a guy smoking in the No Smoking section. I went over to tell him to to put it out.

                    He started speaking German at me. In a very sarcastic tone of voice. He was implying that I was stupid, that I had unwholesome relations with my mom, and that he would smoke where and when he wanted to and there was nothing I could do about it.

                    I leaned in, until my nose was about an inch from his. I looked into his eyes for about a minute, and then I exploded.

                    "SCHEISSKOPF! KONNEN SIE NICHT VERSTANDEN! RAUCHEN VERBOTEN!"

                    Kind of a rapid blinking response.

                    "STEHEN SIE AUF!!! AUSGEHEN!"

                    More blinking, then, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know the rules here." German accent.

                    I told him, "That's why we have signs. Put it out or move to the smoking section."

                    And order was restored.

                    Which was good, because that exhausted a LOT of my college German.
                    Translation for those of us who don't speak any German?

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Quoth Akasa View Post
                      Translation for those of us who don't speak any German?
                      "Shithead! Do you not understand? Smoking's forbidden!"

                      (taking a blind stab at the last one) "Stand up! Get out!"
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                        "Shithead! Do you not understand? Smoking's forbidden!"

                        (taking a blind stab at the last one) "Stand up! Get out!"

                        Thanks, Brother Irving, I should have thought of that.

                        Sorry, Akasa.
                        I have a map of the world. It's actual size.

                        -- Steven Wright

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                        • #27
                          There's something wrong with the fact that I can barely speak any German, get maybe a quater of what I hear spoken, but I could read all of that.
                          If I dropped everybody who occasionally said something stupid from my list of potential partners, I wouldn’t even be able to masturbate

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                          • #28
                            Awesome and well done

                            Quoth KaySquirrel View Post
                            I'm guessing it was the usual pictogram of a smoking cigarette with the big red DO NOT crossed circle around it? Yeah, those are soooo difficult for non-locals to understand, hm? Damn the UK and their secret code signs that aren't in any way perhaps universally (or almost) understood!

                            Well not only that, signs like that are the same (by law) all over the EU. No European can use the excuse that they didn't understand the sign.
                            Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

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                            • #29
                              Quoth karma_gypsy View Post
                              How stupid can two people be?
                              You've been a member here for HOW long and still have to ask that question?

                              Seriously?

                              "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                              Still A Customer."

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Quoth Nyoibo View Post
                                There's something wrong with the fact that I can barely speak any German, get maybe a quater of what I hear spoken, but I could read all of that.
                                No there's not.

                                >.>

                                <.<

                                Really.
                                Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                                Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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