Spontaneous Gender Reassignment (SGR)

[Dreamstalker]

Well, you were in Santa Fe. Remember, it's called the "City Different" for a reason!

True although the iced latte-type drinks they did manage to get right (some years ago, DD had a chocolate-banana iced coffee concoction that was better than it sounds).

[Bandit]

Ok. That does it!

There is a Timmys in southern Ohio that's about 30 miles north of me. Are you TH worshipers tellin' me it's worth the trip?

If it's on I-75, I've been to it several times on the way to Nashville.

It's worth the trip. It's what I called the first good cup of coffee I had in the US.

B

[Pagan]

The reason I hate those ads so much is because they are so INTRUSIVE. I mean, what if I had been kidnapped in my own home and had just managed to remove the duct tape from my hands and feet after a 3.5 hour struggle to remove it with only a paperclip as a knife, then slowly managed to crawl my way to the phone, only to find the intruder has SMASHED it to prevent any 000 calls, which prompts me to make my way to the computer to update my facebook status to "Kali is: under siege in own home. Call cops. Love you mum". ONLY to have my spirits dashed and my heart sink after I moved the mouse cursor over the wrong part of the screen, and alerted the intruder with an extremely fucking loud and obnoxious "OMIGAWD! NO WAY!!", which brings him running to stop my facebook status update just in the nick of time, then i get murdered?

I mean, did anybody even THINK about that??

Been watching "McGyver" again, have we?

My entire office thinks I'm weird for drinking hot chocolate rather than coffee, especially when I do so in the middle of summer.

I get weird looks when I take in tea bags and make hot tea at work.

Or us true freaks will mix the two. Half coffee and half HC.

Hmmmm, I'm gonna have to try that. That actually sounds good!

[Munkie]

The Woe of Public Transit: SGR
( God I hope a vid of this appears on Youtube. Come on Translink! I know you had at least 2 cameras on this. )

I know I shouldn’t laugh at the suffering of others, but well, sometimes it’s difficult. This morning as I was stepping off the Skytrain, there was this fine young lad making a desperate, desperate sprint for the Skytrain. A Skytrain diver. Now, I’ve never really understood Skytrain divers. Especially not first thing in the morning on a week day when there’s another Skytrain literally 20 seconds behind this one. But, well, to each his own.

Anyway, this would be triathlon was making a break for the doors. Coffee in one hand. Books in the other. I should point out that most the lower mainland was and still is a death rink. The only recent development has been fog. So running anywhere is taking your life into your own hands. Of which this poor lad did. Though in all honesty after what was about to transpire, he probably would have preferred death. See, just as he reached the door he also caught a section of wet, slippery platform…

One leg went straight up in the air, followed by the other. So he’s now horizontal in the air, but has full running speed forward momentum. Just as the doors are closing. So he slams into the half closed door groin first with his full body weight and perfectly scissors himself on them. Neigh instantly performing spontaneous gender reassignment surgery on himself. Before dropping unceremoniously on his ass.. It was such impeccably perfect timing that I almost looked around for a film crew.

He just sat there for a moment, stunned, while the door kept trying to close on his groin.

You know, there comes a time in every man’s life when the only thing he wants to do is get up, find a nice, quiet little corner somewhere, curl into a ball and just have a good long cry. This was that guy’s moment.

But I’ll give him credit. He didn’t spill his coffee. So it must have been Tim Horton’s.

*chokewheezlaughtergasplaughterdies*

i can't read this without laughing my ass off literally laughed so hard i started crying.

i did that once myself... but i only fell to my knees, and it was Second Cup coffee.

[AlmightyALT]

That last one! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My downstairs neighbors think I'm dying probably. Must share it with my friends from Canada!

[Jester]

Because unfortunately raging idiots have money too.

And this is one of many things that I feel proves Darwin had his head firmly wedged up his ass.

Survival of the fittest? With OUR species? Please, bitch! Please!

[Dreamstalker]

Or us true freaks will mix the two. Half coffee and half HC.

I do that a lot.

[Gravekeeper]

Survival of the fittest? With OUR species? Please, bitch! Please!

Oh natural selection is still around. We've just curtailed it with warning labels, emergency rooms and protective gear.

ERs should prioritize patients based on the amount of stupidity involved in their injury. That should sort things out in a few years. Got shot in the balls after your 3 year old picked up the gun you left on the table? Back of the line. Peered into a gas tank with a lighter? Back of the line. Arrow lodged in your face after your friend convinced you to let him William Tell? Back of the line. Attempting to re-enact anything you saw on the WWE? Back of the line. Skateboarding without any semblance of skill, balance, dexterity or common sense? Back of the line.

Although I would encourage that last category of individuals to continue on doing what they're doing. Mainly because it makes for great Youtube videos and my shift at work is rather long. Watching stupid people hurt themselves makes it go by faster.

[Chromatix]

Not to mention the Swedish chicks who decided to run straight into motorway traffic - twice - once while the police were talking to them. The consensus is that they were on drugs, which can inhibit both logic and pain, but that's not exactly a genius-level decision either...

[KaeZoo]

On another site, I came across a linked picture of Vancouver. I see what you mean about the fog.

[Munkie]

Naturally, I have questions.



What, precisely, do they throw? Napkins? Or something large and blunt that could potentially do serious bodily injury? Coffee pots? Bricks? Small dogs? Wheelbarrows? Ninja throwing stars? TELL ME!!!



I know a lot of people prefer milk to cream in their coffee, not for low fat reasons, but simply for taste. Do they allow that one minor deviation from the norm?

Napkins, yes, reciepts yes, often a stale donut or bagel, i have also seen pens, coffee pots and one rather squishy tomato of dubious freshness flying out from the kitchen of the Timmies in the Arrivals lounge of the EIA....

10% milk is an allowable deviation, i know because i deliver groceries to the two Tim Hortons in teh airport... they also have individual creamers, white sugar in nifty single-serve packets, like your single-serve friends on the planes, and oh, yes, i remember now... there was a very interesting day when the bag of lettuce nearly brained me as I entered the back room with a 20KG bag of sugar on my shoulder...

I'm a coffee whore. I love the stuff. Drink it daily.

Oh yeah, me ODing on caffeine? Never gonna happen!



I should visit Canadaland. Who wants to put me up for a week? Hey, I'm I'm going to go out of the country, it's gonna be worth it!

Willingly! If you want to come to frozen Edmonton! lol and put with someone who snores like a chainsaw... (not me!) and cats... have to like cats...

You, good sir, have made me laugh harder with these few words than I have in a very long time.

If we want good coffee around here (Western Washington State), we find the small locally owned shops and stands. Starbucks has lost so much quality it's not even funny. I will do without if all I can find is a *$'s.

If i'm going to Buckstars, I'm going for their hot chocolate and their cranberry muffins. I know the muffins come frozen, but dayum they're delish! And the hot chocolate is more like cocoa (which i prefer, really).

Oh, and did I mention I get those for free?

[AlmightyALT]

If you don't know it, I live in Japan. The stereotypes that the Japanese have of foreigners is quite ridiculous, and can take up another post. Apparently they think all Americans drink coffee, alcohol, and sodas. ALL Americans. When I let them know that I never drink coffee, alcohol, AND soda, AT ALL, they asked if I was American.

So when I go to the Gaijinbucks (SB with the rough Japanese word for 'foreigner' attached and called so because all the foreigners in the town converge upon it regularly) I usually do that nummy mango frapp, usually without tea if it's night time, or hot chocolate.

Honestly though, I like the Tulley's on the other side of the station. Cozier and with more of a selection for non-caffeine drinkers like me.

[Jester]

Oh natural selection is still around. We've just curtailed it with warning labels, emergency rooms and protective gear.

Come on, GK. You know that it's far worse than that. Natural selection? Survival of the fittest? If that were so, the most intelligent and productive and successful people would be breeding.

Have you looked around lately? I'm sorry, but these miscreants that we deal with daily are clearly NOT the products of superior genetics.

More proof: Obviously superior intellects (like, for example, you, me, and Raps) are all childless, by choice or chance, while those who think that Larry the Cable Guy is the epitome of high humor are spawning Suburbans full of offspring.

More proof: The fact that we produce all those warning labels and protective gear shows that the human race is trying to save the less fit, and it is, sadly, working. Sure, you'll get the occasional moron that will, despite clearly posted signs to the contrary, light up his stogie at the Chevron, dooming him and several innocent bystanders to their last great fireworks show. But if stupid people have learned anything, it's how to not repeat the mistakes of their brethren, how to survive, and how to breed.

ERs should prioritize patients based on the amount of stupidity involved in their injury.

They should, yes. But they don't. Yet more proof that those not fit for survival are somehow still surviving.

And let me ask you this, my well-heeled fellow philosopher: if, in fact, natural selection means that only the best survive, what does that say about the human race--after several thousand years, THIS is the cream of the crop? THIS is the height to which we have risen? This race of bipeds that spend more money on keeping their dicks hard and their heads full of hair than they do on research to combat some of the most deadly diseases ever known?!?!?!?

Darwin was a twit. An optimistic twit, to be sure, but still a flaming raging twit.

[Broomjockey]

It's starting to feel a little Fratching in here, so leave poor Darwin in his grave. The guy's earned his sleep.

[smileyeagle1021]

while those who think that Larry the Cable Guy is the epitome of high humor.

Don't get me started on Larry the Cable Guy's comedy... he's good for some crude and awkward laughs only.