Jester vs. the SC's of the world.

[Mr Hero]

Example 3. Older female member of the species ambles in, with three grey-haired companions waiting by the front door until they know the result of her impending queries. Miss Bingo Parlor asks me how much our beers are. I (correctly) tell her it varies, as different beers are different prices. She narrows her target down to "Coors Light," a delightful Colorado pisswater that no beer afficionado would touch if not desperate for liquid refreshment. When I inform her that the beer in question is $4, she seems agitated, like I just hit her pet baby seal with a Coors Light bottle. "Oh, that's too much!" And she and her fellow Social Security club meander angrily out of our fair watering hole and on down the street.

Now I rarely ask for the price of a beer unless it is some hand-crafted microbrew from the Alp foothills that has to be poured over a ripe banana peel before it is served to the public masses. That beer might just be a bit pricey, and I am but a simple man who is not independently wealthy. If, upon asking, I find out that the beer I have selected is priced just under the gross GNP of some small African nations, I might hesitate to purchase it, but I would not make a face and storm out of the establishment. And if I was seeking American swill, I CERTAINLY wouldn't be trolling all around Key West looking for cheaper version, because it doesn't get that much cheaper. You might save about 75 cents per bottle after you canvas eight bars, love. This is Key West. It's expensive. Deal with it, or drink water with lemon like all the other cheap assholes. (I am not saying, mind you, that people who drink water with lemon are cheap assholes. I am saying that cheap assholes drink water with lemon. There's a difference.)

I work in a hotel and I've gotten this a fair bit too. People would call or walk in and ask how much our rates are. As soon as I start saying the number on the left of the decimal point, they either hang up or bolt out the door before I can even finish saying what's on the right of the decimal point.

Some have even expressed their opinion on said price quite eloquently in the following manner. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

[Jester]

That reminds me of this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xtVipOjTEE

Fucking hilarious!

And Jester, do you happen to enjoy a nice single malt with your cigars? Just curious.

Occasionally. I am not huge on Scotch, and only drink it every so often, and haven't had any in quite some time. And I enjoy cigars with a good beer, sometimes a good wine, often a good rum, my liquor of choice. Sometimes it's just about the cigar, and doesn't matter what I'm drinking. But I have noticed that I can't smoke a cigar if I'm NOT drinking. Alcohol really DOES enhance the taste and flavor of those things.

Perhaps my sexual frustration has weakened my normally superhuman arm strength.

I can help you out with that.

Sorry! Sometimes, my fingers have a mind of their own, much like my brain to mouth pervert filter.

And you see me objecting?

Just remember, I often call people on their bluffs.

Some have even expressed their opinion on said price quite eloquently in the following manner. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

No, I am doing neither. If I was kidding you, I would probably be in danger of losing my job. And if I was fucking, I would not have bothered to answer the phone in the first place!

[PossJB]

Starting this year, Oregon bars be smoke-free. In fact, all workplaces and public places in Oregon are smoke-free with the following exceptions: Smoke shops, cigar bars, hotel rooms designated as "smoking" and smoking non-commercial tobacco in Native American ceremonies

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

The first thing I do if a door doesn't open is to look for posted hours of operation

[Jester]

The first thing I do if a door doesn't open is to look for posted hours of operation

I would like to point out that the hours of operation of The Bar ARE, in fact, posted on the front door for anyone to see if they bother looking.

They don't bother looking, though.

[Peppergirl]

I would like to point out that the hours of operation of The Bar ARE, in fact, posted on the front door for anyone to see if they bother looking.

They don't bother looking, though.

Would that be a....a....SIGN? SC's don't need no stinkin' SIGNS!

Perhaps if you put the word FREE on the sign somewhere, they'd read it.

Wait. Did I just suggest that? Feel free to me.

[Jester]

Not a sign in the normal add on sense, but actually painted right on to the glass door.

[Peppergirl]

Not a sign in the normal add on sense, but actually painted right on to the glass door.

So in essence, they're pounding and pulling on the hours sign to be let in.

[Pagan]

Fucking hilarious!

Gaelic Storm, hands down, puts on the best show I've ever seen. I hope they come back here again soon.

Occasionally. I am not huge on Scotch, and only drink it every so often, and haven't had any in quite some time. And I enjoy cigars with a good beer, sometimes a good wine, often a good rum, my liquor of choice. Sometimes it's just about the cigar, and doesn't matter what I'm drinking. But I have noticed that I can't smoke a cigar if I'm NOT drinking. Alcohol really DOES enhance the taste and flavor of those things.

Ah, that probably explains why my dad usually enjoys a cigar with the uisge beatha! Try some of the Johnny Walker Gold Label, very smooth. Actually the only blend I'll drink. Some of the Isla can be too peaty for people, think liquid Sucrets. Speysides are smoother. Annnnnd, I'll stop here before I get into a complete dissertation!

[Jester]

Try some of the Johnny Walker Gold Label, very smooth. Actually the only blend I'll drink.

I've had it. And the Green. AND the glorious Blue.

Drinking Johnnie Walker Blue Label is akin to drinking liquid silk. If you like the Gold, trust me, you really, REALLY need to try this superior blend!

[Pagan]

I've had it. And the Green. AND the glorious Blue.

Drinking Johnnie Walker Blue Label is akin to drinking liquid silk. If you like the Gold, trust me, you really, REALLY need to try this superior blend!

I hate you. You've gotten to drink the BLUE?

There's a really good liquor store here that had a car crash into the front of it a while back. My first thought, after if nobody got hurt, was I hope it wasn't the side where the really good scotch is. They've got the Blue Label, at around $400....

That reminds me, I need to decide what to take with me to the Burn's Night dinner!