Bubbles, Signs, Lube, Splash and Barring!

[ralerin]

So, today I have five stories for you, four deal with liquids and the last one deals with a phone call...

I work at "Aid of Rite".

Huffing Bubbles

Teenage girl opens up bottle of Mr. Bubbles bubble bath to smell it and accidently gets it up her nose. Cue her squealing and running to me for a paper towel and her friend pissing herself laughing.

"Like, OMG, if I blew my nose would bubbles come out?!?"
"My nose, like, burns, like, deep inside now, should I be worried?"
"I have Mr. Bubbles inside my nose! Eww!"

They redeemed themselves somewhat by realizing that yes, I do hear those stupid flasher dogs singing "FIRE" and "Baby I Need Your Loving" 10,000 times per day (10,000,000 when "Brandy" is out...but someone took away her flasher dogs and noisemakers, mweeheehee) and that they need to stop mashing those buttons, NOW.

Signs

I'm facing the Valentine's section when I hear this giant CRASH. Cue girlfriend coming out of the aisle with her hand over her mouth and saying, "You, like, FELL?" I come around the corner and see this guy picking himself off the floor and lots of bottles of Garnier Fructis shampoo and conditioner scattered around. Guy slipped on a puddle of water and grabbed the display. Cardboard display does crap to stop him from falling and nearly falls on top of him. He wasn't hurt but he did scold me-"Where's your wet floor sign?!?"

Cue friend of the girlfriend pointing it out less than a foot away from him. "It's right there!"

That's NOT what They Meant By Splash!

This one didn't happen tonight and I can't remember if I posted it before, but fits with my theme. I was facing the makeup aisle and was in front of the Covergirl section when I saw that someone had picked up one of the Fruit Splash Lipgloss things (it's named after the color of the fruit it tastes like I think) and squirted it all over the display. Cue me grumbling and swearing to clean it up. Guava Splash smells funky and cleans like poo, especially half dried and smeared all over the other tubes of gloss.

Strawberries

Tonight I was facing the condom/lube section when I noticed a whole lot of clear, jelly like fluid all over the shelf. I found the culprit-Strawberry flavored lube. Someone had squirted half the bottle all over the shelf and it, too, was half dried. At least it was strawberry so the shelf smelled nice.

I HAVE THREE QUESTIONS FOR YOU!!!!!

And that brings me to the story of our most recently barred customer.

Me: Hello and thank you for calling the "Aid of Rite" in ________, this is ralerin, how may I help you?
SC: YOU! I HAVE THREE QUESTIONS! FIRST! I WANT TO KNOW WHO IS FILLING MY PRESCRIPTIONS?!?
Me: Ok, this is the front end, let me transfer you to the pharmacy!
SC: NO! I WILL COME BACK TO YOU! SECOND! AM I ALLOWED TO SET FOOT IN YOUR STORE?!?
Me: * but realization that she must've been barred sinks in* I'm not sure...gimme one sec to transfer you over to the manager!
SC: NO! YOU WILL ANSWER MY QUEST....
Me: *puts on hold* Manager, get the call on line 1, please!

So after that whole incident, I'm sort of confused as to why she was barred (although her charming demeanor gave it away ) and I eventually find out pieces of the whole story. I still don't know the full story.

SC is a woman who is shall we say, not right in the head, comes in, wanders around and mumbles to herself, always with a hat and a fur coat on. Has accused managers of sexually assaulting her in the past, of being undercover CIA agents, and throwing fits when her giftcards were declined and that she owns half of the company's stock. Has tried to pass bad checks and has bawled out some of the other cashiers for minor, stupid things. SC comes in at 4:30 this morning, tries to buy cigarettes with a check, is told she can't and is served with a barring notice. SC FLIPS OUT, screams every nasty name in the book, and is escorted out by police in shiny bracelets.

And I only learned this AFTER she harassed me on the phone. Blah.

Today was busy otherwise, we had New Guy on the register and everyone was out in full force after yesterday's snowstorm. New Guy is slow since it's his first day being on the register and makes mistakes and men trying to get their beer are getting huffy at him. I'm being told to put away the cigarettes before Manager A leaves but I can't because the lines are 5 people deep for about 3 hours. =/ At least New Guy is the opposite of "Brandy" from my thread in Cursing Out Coworkers. He's nice, smart and not a whiny brat, which is a plus.

Crazy, nutty, busy. How's your nights going?

[blas]

Who is so bored that they go to a store and squirt lipgloss and lube all over the shelves and other products?

Lipgloss in general is really sticky stuff. Try eating or drinking or smoking while wearing it. I can only imagine how hard it is to clean it up when it's all over other tubes and all over the shelves.

Some people must be really bored or really special.

[bainsidhe]

Who is so bored that they go to a store and squirt lipgloss and lube all over the shelves and other products?

Boredom has nothing to do with it. It's sheer suckiness and I would love if the nice gentlemen with the shiney bracelets caught them in the act. Will never happen of course, but I like to dream.

[sarasquirrel]

when i face cosmetics, theres always something messed up. i find that people love to mess with rimmel...no one ever buys it, just damages it.

the whole side of the fixture was covered in gloss once, the other is now too, and people love to test the foundations so that it cakes inside the cap.

no one buys the covergirl lipgloss either. none of it, any kind, yet they bring in more every year

i find crushed lip liners, eyeliners, tested foundations, nail poish on fixtures, lipsticks that are flattened, usually loreal.

i just dont get it. i wont buy cosmetics there unless its still sealed. if i find something opened i damage it.

[RedRoseSpiral]

I feel you on the lip gloss. Not only did I have to clean stuff like that up when I worked at Walmart (up until I started ignoring Cosmetics anyway). My favorite thing to do was to go through all the tube lipstick and take out what all had been used, flattened, biten (seriously) and what not. Usually took 1/2 hour out of my shift.

[ralerin]

I'm sort of wishing we had a small "tester area" for things like perfume and lipstick and foundation, but honestly, we don't have the space and customers would get more brazen about smearing it around like monkey poo.

And who the hell bites lipstick, redrose? WTH?

[jedimaster91]

If I had to guess, it's probably not the lipstick, but the flavored chapstick that gets eaten like that. I used to do that when I was little (after purchasing, of course).

[sirwired]

As a random side note, on a trip to the SF Bay area over the summer, I had to stop by a drugstore for random drug-storish items.

As I stroll down the aisle that happens to have the "Family Planning" products, I spy that they stock a bottle of lube about the size of a Costco shampoo bottle. That thing must have been at least a quart! It even had a pump on it, like a bottle of softsoap.

The mind boggles...

SirWired

[Chromatix]

Some people simply need lube on a regular basis. A "family sized" bottle would last a sensible amount of time.

[RedRoseSpiral]

If I had to guess, it's probably not the lipstick, but the flavored chapstick that gets eaten like that. I used to do that when I was little (after purchasing, of course).

Sadly Jedi, you are wrong. I've found tubes of lipstick (usually bright red for some reason) with teethmarks on it, chomped right through. I swear women let their teething toddlers at it.

[Amandarthegreat]

Oh, the stories I could tell about people that "test" lipstick.
Just a quick bit of advice: never test store lipstick on the face, but instead test on fingertips. After working in a cosmetic store, I see tester products as "herpes sticks" and "pink-eye-powders". ::shudder::

[Jester]

I spy that they stock a bottle of lube about the size of a Costco shampoo bottle. That thing must have been at least a quart!

The mind boggles...

Once you've worked for swingers conventions, DJ'd in a clothing optional bar, or hung out with swingers, strippers, adult film actresses, etc., such things don't really phase you all that much.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

As a random side note, on a trip to the SF Bay area over the summer, I had to stop by a drugstore for random drug-storish items.

As I stroll down the aisle that happens to have the "Family Planning" products, I spy that they stock a bottle of lube about the size of a Costco shampoo bottle. That thing must have been at least a quart! It even had a pump on it, like a bottle of softsoap.

Probably one of those things you see in San Fran and very few other places. I know I sure as hell haven't seen a bottle of lube that big in an ordinary drugstore around here.

[Chromatix]

Wait... I missed that it was in SF. In that case, it makes *complete* sense.

Now if you'll excuse me while I find the brain bleach...

[fireheart]

Once you've worked for swingers conventions, DJ'd in a clothing optional bar, or hung out with swingers, strippers, adult film actresses, etc., such things don't really phase you all that much.

Really?

*gags Jester and drags him into a swingers club*