Buddy, we just sell groceries....

[GiftShopGirl]

Before college, I used to work at a local grocery store. Since I was the only employee who spoke French, I was to help any French-speaking customers in the store (which was rare, because the store was in the Southern US). Here's a gem from one of those conversations, translated as best as possible from French.

Me:
WFC: Weird French Customer (very handsome and well-dressed, I might add)

Me: Hello, are you able to find everything you're looking for?
WFC: No, I cannot find one thing.
Me: I can help you find it. What are you looking for?
WFC: Truth.
Me: Truth?
WFC: Yes. I have searched the world, but I cannot seem to find it. There is no Truth these days.
Me: I don't know where to find that either. But if you need help finding any groceries, just ask me.

Buddy, this is just a grocery store! If you wanna talk about abstract concepts and metaphysical ideals, go to a cafe or reading group or something. I'm definitely not smart enough to help you! (If he had been looking for a date, though, I bet I could have helped him with that )

[otakuneko]

"For that, I recommend dilbert.com"

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

La vérité!!!

[Bliss]

Maybe he can team up with Diogenes... diogenes will carry the lamp and this guy could carry... idk.. a carrot?

[Hobbs]

What do you expect? He's French...

j/k

[depechemodefan]

I get a lot of customers who want something abstract like that. Except they ask such questions because they think they are clever.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Buddy, this is just a grocery store! If you wanna talk about abstract concepts and metaphysical ideals, go to a cafe or reading group or something. I'm definitely not smart enough to help you!

That reminded me of a Bloom County comic.

[Cyphr]

42

but absolute truth is like tomorrow you can look forward to it but you can never grasp it

[the toy guy]

That reminded me of a Bloom County comic.

It reminded me of this.

Next time tell him that it's a schedule II controlled substance and he'll need to take a prescription to the pharmacist.

[fireheart]

Now THAT is just funny

[Becks]

I like that.

Is that a minority opinion?

[PepperElf]

Truth? No.
But I know where you can buy some Hope!

Hope - sold in most grocery stores in Japan. And no I'm not kidding... I saw it myself. I'm just not sure what they're hoping for...