Daily Suckiness

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

Me: Welcome to Bank, my name is HMIHYT, HMIHY?
SC: I lost my card.
Me: Sorry to hear, I can definitely help you. May I please have your SS#?
SC: Before I give it to you I want to know who I'm speaking to.
Me: I'm HMIHYT at Bank.
SC: Bank?
Me: Yes, Bank. You called Bank?
SC: ...
Me: I received an incoming call from you and I work at Bank...
SC: ...
Me: Did you lose a card?
SC: Yeah.....?
Me: Is it a Bank card? Who is the card with?
SC: ... I'll figure it out and then give you a call.
Me: Thank you for calling Bank.


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Me: Opening schpiel.
SC: I want you to verify the $ you have on hold.
Me: I show your account is negative $500.
SC: Yes but I have a huge amount of $$$$$$ that's on hold until mid-march [Note: I've never seen holds that are almost a month out]
Me: I don't know any deposit on hold.
SC: I didn't make a deposit.
Me: How is the money coming into the account?
SC: I'd rather not discuss my personal business with you. I'll just go into the branch.
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: I don't show any money on hold, I just show the negative account.
SC: I know.
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: Do you have any further questions for me?
SC: Yes.
Me: Go ahead?
SC: I want you to verify I have money on hold.
Me: If you are able to provide me with more details about the money coming in I can assist you further. Right now I only show the negative account and no funds on hold.
SC: I'll just go into the branch to discuss my business.
Me: ...
SC: ...
Wash. Rinse. Repeat a few more times.
Me: Any other questions?
SC: No.
Me: Thank you for being a valued customer.
SC: Yes I am.


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[Grog]

Honestly. How dare you not psychicly know exactly what he's talking about? That's exactly the soty of thing that saps customer satisfaction you know!

[Dips]

Me: Thank you for being a valued customer.
SC: Yes I am.

That part just cracked me up. It reminds me of Maggie Simpson watching the elves on TV and cutely pointing to herself when they ask who's special. You'd think a grown man would have outgrown that sort of thing.

[Moggie]

Every now and then I wonder that we can't hear the sucking noise from the vacuum in their heads when they put the phone to their ear.

[Bramblerose]

Maybe you unwittingly stumbled into Terry Gilliam movie that day?

[corporateslave]

Me: Thank you for being a valued customer.
SC: Yes I am.

I enjoyed that part as well.

[Apathy]

You'd think a grown man would have outgrown that sort of thing.

I'd hope that, yes, but I wouldn't expect it anymore.
Man, all my posts are resoundingly negative. I think it's possible that life has molded me into a bitter pessimist. Nah, surely not.

[HawaiianShirts]

Me: I don't know any deposit on hold.
SC: I didn't make a deposit.
Me: How is the money coming into the account?
SC: I'd rather not discuss my personal business with you. I'll just go into the branch.
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: I don't show any money on hold, I just show the negative account.
SC: I know.
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: Do you have any further questions for me?
SC: Yes.
Me: Go ahead?
SC: I want you to verify I have money on hold.
Me: If you are able to provide me with more details about the money coming in I can assist you further. Right now I only show the negative account and no funds on hold.
SC: I'll just go into the branch to discuss my business.

Wow. Arrogant, demanding, and vague! It's like an SC combo platter!

Anyone else thinking he might have played the victim in one of those email bank scams? He's sent his couple thousand dollars for "bank processing fees" off to Africa or wherever else the scammer might be, and he's been promised millions of dollars in return, and he's even gotten a fake deposit receipt of some kind, and he's just waiting for the riches to drop in.

[Sheldonrs]

Maybe she just wanted you to guess how much money she was holding in her hand at the time.

[Drakstern]

Anyone else thinking he might have played the victim in one of those email bank scams? He's sent his couple thousand dollars for "bank processing fees" off to Africa or wherever else the scammer might be, and he's been promised millions of dollars in return, and he's even gotten a fake deposit receipt of some kind, and he's just waiting for the riches to drop in.

I always wonder how in the world people still get caught by those scams. Haven't they ever heard of 'if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is'?

[Danno]

Me: Thank you for being a valued customer.
SC: Yes I am.

Oh, he's a valued customer indeed. These days banks make the most money from bounced check and overdraw fees. The bank my mom works at is consistently one of the most profitable branches in the city because it's in a poorer area.

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

Danno - I don't make a lot of money but I just don't spend what I don't have. Economic situation has NO bearing on overdrawing your account (I hear this excuse all the time). It's a matter of personal responsibility.

Re scams: I once had a person who told me they were going to send money to someone and get a lot of money back. I can't tell them it's a scam because I'm at work, but I very strongly hinted that if I were them I would check out more information before sending money and I tried every single way of telling the person it was a scam without saying the word scam. They could not be dissuaded