Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

False advertising and remote-controlled wife

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • False advertising and remote-controlled wife

    Here's 2 tales from my old call center job.

    First one's mine. A customer called in to complain that a particular program he wanted to watch wasn't being played on his subscribed channels. Thanks to the notes on his account I already knew: he saw an advertisement for that program on his channel, and expected that same program to be played on his channel. Basically if you see a trailer for a theatrical release on TV, would you assume that movie has to be played on regular TV??

    He wasn't so much sucky as he was annoyingly persistant. Naturally he refused to accept my explanation and asked for a supervisor. Get this: he has already called about this, and escalated to our helpdesk... and escalated beyond that level to a manager. One of those 'if I keep asking the same question, someone's bound to tell me want I want to hear' types. Thankfully I cut him off at the pass by reminding him he has already escalated, what more does he expect? I wonder how I kept the annoyance out of my tone.

    Next tale isn't mine, but told second-hand by a former colleague we'll call Ash.

    Ash had to field a call from a guy complaining about his remote. The particular grevious offense he had with our system? He had to use 2 remotes, one for his TV and a second for the channel decoder box.

    Ok, sometimes we are able to program our remotes to control 3rd-party tv's. I'm sure Ash was perfectly happy to try that. Then the customer dropped this bombshell, something to the effect of "I don't like so many remotes. But if I had a remote to control my wife I'd be happy."

    Riiight, I'm sure your (much) better half is equally, if not more, happy with her battery-powered husband. I doubt she needs a remote control at all. Ash was not amused either. His response:

    "Sir, that's not funny! If you need help, I'm happy to provide, but lets stick to that."

    And the customer backed down. Go Ash, I say.
    Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

  • #2
    A battery powered husband actually exists...it's called a "Vibrator"...LOL.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Bright_Star View Post
      A battery powered husband actually exists...it's called a "Vibrator"...LOL.
      Usually named Bob, as in Camille West's song "Nobody Beats My Bob"
      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

      Comment


      • #4
        I've actually seen remotes that can "control your wife" in gag shops. They don't require batteries though, they're gag gifts. They also have "control your husband" and "control your child" remotes
        The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

        Now queen of USSR-Land...

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Talon View Post
          Next tale isn't mine, but told second-hand by a former colleague we'll call Ash.
          Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.
          Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

          http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

          Comment


          • #6
            ThinkGeek has a cat remote control
            "I am quite confident that I do exist."
            "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

            Comment


            • #7
              Let me guess, pause and fastforward?
              If I dropped everybody who occasionally said something stupid from my list of potential partners, I wouldn’t even be able to masturbate

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Nyoibo View Post
                Let me guess, pause and fastforward?
                I'm sure the MUTE button would be worn off, too.
                Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                Comment


                • #9
                  did he program his remote while saying the three words?
                  did he say them properly?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Nyoibo View Post
                    Let me guess, pause and fastforward?
                    Mine has a "psycho" button. Of course, that's the only button, but I did get a cat to climb the wall to the ceiling, and another to take a flying leap off the basement stairs into the back door.
                    Any day you're looking down at the dirt instead of up at the dirt is a good day.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Um, sir? Wives can only be controlled with your original equipment joystick, correctly operated. Since you fail on either or both points, we can't help you.

                      Fine print notice:
                      Joystick control must be bi-directional to function properly.
                      I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                      Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                      Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth PepperElf View Post
                        did he program his remote while saying the three words?
                        did he say them properly?
                        Yeah, he said your darn words. Maybe not every single tiny little syllable, but basically, yeah!
                        Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                        http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth dalesys View Post
                          Um, sir? Wives can only be controlled with your original equipment joystick, correctly operated. Since you fail on either or both points, we can't help you.

                          Fine print notice:
                          Joystick control must be bi-directional to function properly.
                          Too funny!! To add in...joystick control must have high endurance.
                          I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                          Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                          Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
                            ThinkGeek has a cat remote control
                            I have one of those, it's called a Laser Pointer
                            I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

                            "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Bliss View Post
                              I have one of those, it's called a Laser Pointer
                              Yeah, those things are better than any cat toy on the market.
                              Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X