Yes, you have to pay everything you owe!

[Twotall]

From today's phone calls:

SC: "Hi, I have two bills here, one is way overdue and the other one's just a little overdue. I payed the first one today."
Me: "OK, it still registers as unpaid, but it usually takes a few hours, so I believe you if you say it's paid."
SC: "Good. But what I want to know is... Now that I've paid the first one, do I have to pay the second one as well?"

Yes. Yes, in our modern-day, democratic country you have to PAY for goods and services you have ordered and enjoyed. That's how the system bloody works, in our company and everywhere else...

[Phone Jockey]

Boy oh boy, did you get one of mine or what? Jeez, that definitely sounds like one of my morons. Did they slip outta the pen?

[protege]

Did they slip outta the pen?

It looks like we'll have to up the voltage on the electric fence a bit

[dragonflygrrl]

I love it when people come into my store and say, "You shut off my phone." Yes, of course I did. Just because I don't like you, I went into the magic back room and I flipped the switch with your name on it to the "off" position. (OT: The magic backroom is also where we keep an infinite but secret supply of every item we stock.) Then you pull up the account, discover they have a past due balance of say $150, and they say, "how much do I have to pay to get my phone back on?" Ummm...maybe all of it? Since that is what you owe? Or am I just crazy?

[Becks]

"Well, we would PREFER that you pay every last cent you owe, as soon as possible. However, if you find that inconvenient, we will allow you to keep adding to the amount you owe, letting you pay it off for 50 cents a week."

Yep, that second sentence would probably be the one that customers would want to hear. No, wait, they wouldn't. They don't want to pay any more money!!!!!!!!

[chainedbarista]

It looks like we'll have to up the voltage on the electric fence a bit

they did, but to no effect (no brain, no effect ). what makes this one think, 'oh, i paid this bill, i'm such a good customer, yes i am; they absolutely HAVE to let the other one slide. *nod nod*'

sure, the nice man from the collections agency just wants to tell you what a good customer you are, yes he does...

[Phone Jockey]

Escapees

It looks like we'll have to up the voltage on the electric fence a bit

Indeed! This is getting ridiculous. As tradition dictates, DGoddess is in charge of branding them.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Had a guy come in one night and actually ask me "Can I have this for free?" He was dead serious. He figured he was working for some "charity" (read: scam) so I should let him have his stuff for free.

We'd had trouble with this guy before. I said to him "Well, no. This is a business. We do things for money here."

"You can't help me out?"

"No, I can't. If you are looking charitable handouts, Oliver Gospel Mission is right down the street. This, however, is Kinko's. That will be 11 bucks."

What is it with people thinking Kinko's is in the business of doing stuff for free and giving it away?

[Imogene]

Just like all the morons who would come into the store and start off with me...
M: "How are you today, welcome to here, would you like your pillow fluffed/feet rubbed/ice cream/my job?"
Them: "Yes, I'm with 'Highschool you've never heard of, as they are most definitely a private school, and thus, have nothing to do with you lowly common folk who have to work for a living', and my kids are holding a raffle..."
M: "If the next words out of your mouth are 'Is there anything your store might be willing to 'contribute' you're talking to the wrong amorphous blob. The one you want is in the 'magical' back room, doing paperwork, and has a deep seated hatred of people who think he'll just give away movies/posters/employes/money. If you do not wish to invoke the wrath of the gods, press 1, and then offer a goat up for sacrifice." *toothy grin*
No, dumbass, buy something to put in your damn raffle. We don't give things away because somebody else might buy a dollar ticket and win! That'd mean we'd be losing money, what a concept. In America, we try hard to 'make money'. I know, big concept for mummy's dearest, who never had to work a day in her life, and married into wealth, now drives an SUV, and can still afford to buy thirty eight pairs of shoes every week.
Can ya tell I'm angry about these people?

Or the lady who came in one night, grabed a stack of movies about twenty deep, came up to me at the register, and asked if she could get it tax exempt.
M: "For what reason?"
"I'm a teacher, and these are going into our library."
M: "Hmmm... oh, yes, cause you know how educational 'xXx' is. Oh, and WCW wrestling! Look, kids, you too can pretend to act, and people everywhere will love you."
"Well, yes..."
M: *blink, can't believe she's still holding on to that excuse* "Well, if nothing else, you'll need the tax exempt status form."
*whips it out, no seriously. She had it ready for this*
M: *sniff sniff, do I smell scam?* "Hold on, I don't know how to ring this... I'll have to get my manager." *entirely true, she was exactly the first person to ever ask me to ring an exempt sale in my five years there. wander in back* "Hey, SM, I have a lady out here who wants to buy a stack of movies tax exempt, cause she's a teacher, and they're going in the library... has her sheet and everything, can you come out here and show me how to ring this?"
*SM follows me out, the whole conversation repeats, SM tells her he doesn't know how to do it either, and goes in back to 'call other managers to find out how', disappears for thirty minutes, lady gets extremely agitated as I ring out legitimate customers while we wait*
*she eventually says* "Forget it, I'll just come back some other time."
M: *watch her walk out, a pile of movies to put away sitting on my counter, I grab them, and shelve them quickly, then poke my head in the back room* "Never mind now, she's gone. Who the hell buys movies in a store front for a school? No, last I heard, school libraries can order their own movies."
SM: "She was trying to scam us, I never called anyone."
M: "This is my shocked face. Why the hell do you think I came back to get you to help me with her?"

[Twotall]

Boy oh boy, did you get one of mine or what?

Yep, I'm afraid I get the Norwegian subsiduary of the Idiot Club. Thank God we're going into vacation time...

[Kusanagi]

We get people trying to come in and claim tax exempt status all the time.

Our solution? "Pay full price now, get us the forms for the status, and we will then refund you the tax amount when it all checks out."

99% of them leave at that point, grumbling about the horrible service.

We aren't about to get scammed out of a hundred dollars.