"sir, your son can not lie down on the games!"

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

What a fun week this has been...

But it's my husbands CARD!

I am running a credit transaction, a female customer hands me a card that has the first name Harold on it. I don't know about you, but I haven't met many ladies named Harold.

Me: Can I see your ID please?
(she gives me her ID and I see the last names match, but her first name is definitely not Harold, I give her the glance)
SC: <smile> It's my husbands card.
Me: I see that. Is he out in the car by any chance?
SC: No, he's at work, why?
Me: In that case I cannot accept this card.
SC: Why not?
Me: Well ma'am, in order for me to take the card, the cardholder has to be present. In fact this card is supposed to be used by the cardholder ONLY.
SC: But I'm his WIFE!
Me: I understand that ma'am but it doesn't change the fact that you are attempting to commit fraud.
SC: WHAT?!
Me: Using someone else's credit card, even if you are married to them, is technically fraud ma'am.
SC: This is ridiculous. We've been married 14 years, other stores let me use his card all the time.
Me: That's their choice, but I will not let you use it here.
SC: Can I speak to a manager please?
Me: Certainly. One moment.

I call over the MOD, who promptly shot her down again and reiterated what I said. She left in a huff.

Not sucky, just dumb

C: Hey can you play PS2 games on a new PS3?
Me: Nope, you can on the older units but they removed that function from the newer systems.
C: Do they have the memory card readers on them?
Me: Nope, they removed those too.
C: God at this rate it won't be long before they remove the Blu-ray player so it can only play games.
Me: (hahahahahahahahahahahahaha) I doubt they'll do that sir.

My reason for finding this so funny is that Playstation 3 games are actually made on Blu-Ray discs, so if Blu-Ray functionality were removed from the system it would essentially become a large black paperweight.

We are NOT a tip line!

SC: Hey can you tell me how to activate cheat X in this PS3 game? I can't figure it out.
Me: I have never played that game before sir, I don't know how to do that.
SC: Can't you look it up for me?
Me:(What am I, your damned servant?) No I can't sir, we sell cheat code books, you're welcome to come and buy one.
SC: I'm not going to buy a whole book for one damned code! Why can't you just give it to me? It'll take you two seconds.
Me: We SELL codes here, we do not give them away. If you want them for free, try Google.
SC: Whatever! <click>

Get OFF my games please!

I thought I'd seen it all, but every time I think that I end up eating my words. Furthering my belief that ANYTHING imaginable can happen in retail, we had a young boy come in the store with his father. While his father browsed, the boy decided to climb on top of one of our bins of used games and lie down.



After my coworker and I gave each other "WTF?" looks, I walked over to address the situation.

Me: Sir, he can't be on those games.
SC: Why not? He's not bothering anyone.
Me: Well firstly he's preventing everyone from browsing through those games, second if he falls of and hurts himself, it could be a liability issue.
SC: I'll be done in a few minutes, just calm down.
Me: Sir, I don't care how soon you'll be done, he needs to get off there now.
SC: You are NOT his father, you will NOT tell him what to do.
Me: No I'm not his father but I am responsible for this store and you need to get him off those games.
SC: Fine! (to kid) Come on Johnny, we'll go get the game at Wal-Mart.

Good Riddance. Seriously, in my best Simon Cowell voice I can't help but say "What the hell was that?"

Outdated much?

SC: Can I get Street Fighter IV for Xbox?
Me: Certainly. (I dutifully grab the 360 version of the game) Anything else?
SC: No I said Xbox!
Me: This is the Xbox 360 version.
SC: Not 360, ORIGINAL Xbox.
Me: Street Fighter IV is for 360 and PS3 only.
SC: Crap. What about Fear 2 or Halo 3? You got either of them on Xbox?
Me: No sir, they stopped making new Xbox games a couple of years ago.
SC: Really?
Me: Yes sir.
SC: Man that sucks. I can't afford a 360 yet, my Xbox is all I got.
Me: Well then you'll be missing out on all the new releases I'm afraid.

You'd be surprised how many people still think new games are made for older systems. I get customers like this one allll the time.

If you're going to come in and ask about a job

At least LOOK like you are serious about your job search. I have counted 4 people in the last two days come in here for apps, all wearing only jeans and a t-shirt (and in two cases ball caps). I know it's just an application, but the dude handing you the application just might be the one who determines whether or not you'll get an interview, appearances matter.


Details, I need DETAILS stat!


I posted before about people who are extremely vague on what they want. Got these ones just this past week:

- I'm looking for a game with a cow that fights. (Barn Fighter 2 Turbo? Note: NOT a real game!)

- What are the good girl games for the Nintendo DS? (Wow, just wow. Could you have narrowed that one down any less?)

- What games would you recommend for an 8 year-old boy? (Well that all depends on what he likes: Football, Spider-man, Naruto, Puppies...the list goes on and on)

- He likes racing games. What are some good racing games? (Well gee, do you want car racing, motorbike racing, ATV racing, Kart racing or Futuristic racing?)

- I'm looking for a game that has a guy with long hair on the cover. (Needle in a haystack dude...needle in a haystack...)

[Mike Taylor]

Most of the locals down here have clued in that the original Xbox is dead and gone. I'm just wondering where this upsurge of idiots is coming from that thinks you can get Mario games on the Sony machines (PS2/PS3/PSP).

[Broomjockey]

You'd be surprised how many people still think new games are made for older systems. I get customers like this one allll the time.

Blame the PS2. Crippled-ass versions are ported over to that all the time still. In fact, commonly there will be two versions of a game. The "A" list (term often used loosely) version for PS3/360, and the PS2/Wii version, and the only difference between the Wii and PS2 versions are slapped on motion controls. These are usually done in half the time at 1/4 the budget of the "A" list versions.

[Polenicus]

Details, I need DETAILS stat!


I posted before about people who are extremely vague on what they want. Got these ones just this past week:

- I'm looking for a game with a cow that fights. (Barn Fighter 2 Turbo? Note: NOT a real game!)

- What are the good girl games for the Nintendo DS? (Wow, just wow. Could you have narrowed that one down any less?)

- What games would you recommend for an 8 year-old boy? (Well that all depends on what he likes: Football, Spider-man, Naruto, Puppies...the list goes on and on)

- He likes racing games. What are some good racing games? (Well gee, do you want car racing, motorbike racing, ATV racing, Kart racing or Futuristic racing?)

- I'm looking for a game that has a guy with long hair on the cover. (Needle in a haystack dude...needle in a haystack...)

I was wondering if you had that game... you know, with the guy?... The guy, you know, that guy... guy. It's the game where you push this thing, to make the thing turn? I just saw a commercial for it on TV!

[Lingering Grin]

Blame the PS2. Crippled-ass versions are ported over to that all the time still. In fact, commonly there will be two versions of a game. The "A" list (term often used loosely) version for PS3/360, and the PS2/Wii version, and the only difference between the Wii and PS2 versions are slapped on motion controls. These are usually done in half the time at 1/4 the budget of the "A" list versions.

Just so you know, they're technically not ports

A port basically uses the same code as another version of the same game, but it's just changed to run on the different engine.

However the older systems are actually written in a different language than the new systems, so it's impossible to do ports of PS3 game to the PS2. They have to be written from the ground up... which is usually why they end up being COMPLETELY different games rather than same game but with different graphics.
(The Spider-Man 2 Movie game is a good example of this, the PS2 version was AMAZING, but the computer version was soo horribly different and a complete hack-job...it sucked royally).

Most ports are made between the 360 and the PS3, because they use the same coding language, and all you have to change is the hardware functionality.

Which is why sometimes you'll see a 360 button callout on the PS3. (and if you do, you might wanna send a letter to the game developer... because that is a HUGE nono, and can get a lot of people in a lot of trouble if one of the console companies decides to make a big deal out of it.)


Hehe, can you tell I'm a former Video Game tester?

[Broomjockey]

Just so you know, they're technically not ports

A port basically uses the same code as another version of the same game, but it's just changed to run on the different engine.

Does it matter? Does it make the game less shitty? Review scores say... *looks to the leaderboard* "NO!" Alex, tell him what he's won! He's won a thorough mocking for being pedantic.

[Digitalpotato]

Reviews are usually just advertisements. I'm still looking for that version of Final Fantasy X the reviewers got.

[Lingering Grin]

Reviews are usually just advertisements. I'm still looking for that version of Final Fantasy X the reviewers got.

What do you mean? It got mostly good reviews... and it was a good game.

http://www.metacritic.com/games/plat.../finalfantasyx

Does it matter? Does it make the game less shitty? Review scores say... *looks to the leaderboard* "NO!" Alex, tell him what he's won! He's won a thorough mocking for being pedantic.

Hey, it's nearly 5am and I've been up since 10:30am yesterday, I'll be pedantic if I want to, and you're just gonna have to live with it

[pile of monkeys]

But it's my husbands CARD!

I get this one all the time. The best is when the card has the husband's name on it, and the wife signs her name on the back, and still doesn't get why it's invalid. "But I'm an authorized user!" Right, so your husband just has to call and request a card with your name on it, and that card will be linked to the account, and it will be valid. The ones who try to use their husband's cards really, legitimately do not understand what I'm saying about not being able to use a card with someone else's name on it. "But I'm MRS. John P. Smith! I'm authorized to use this card!" Sorry, but unless your driver's license identifies you as John P. Smith, not Jane M. Smith, no dice.

[Nurian]

My reason for finding this so funny is that Playstation 3 games are actually made on Blu-Ray discs, so if Blu-Ray functionality were removed from the system it would essentially become a large black paperweight.

My friend would say it is even with the Blue-Ray functionality :P

[Velfarre2001]

You'd be surprised how many people still think new games are made for older systems. I get customers like this one allll the time.

Well, the PS2 is still getting a lot of games, especially of the RPG type.

[Lenorecat]

If you're going to come in and ask about a job

At least LOOK like you are serious about your job search. I have counted 4 people in the last two days come in here for apps, all wearing only jeans and a t-shirt (and in two cases ball caps). I know it's just an application, but the dude handing you the application just might be the one who determines whether or not you'll get an interview, appearances matter.

I'm surprised no one mentioned on this. Over where I live, we even get the guys with the pants around their ass, boxers showing -"Are you hiring?"
Um. If we were, we wouldn't tell you.

[Apathy]

If you're going to come in and ask about a job

Really? I mean, the previous quote about your boxers hanging down is fine; those people look stupid anyway, but do I really need a shirt and slacks or a suit to waltz into a gamestop and pick up an application?
I can see doing so when I'm dropping it off and speaking to a manager about it, but do I need to dress up to be handed a sheet of paper?

[RootedPhoenix]

Most of the locals down here have clued in that the original Xbox is dead and gone. I'm just wondering where this upsurge of idiots is coming from that thinks you can get Mario games on the Sony machines (PS2/PS3/PSP).

*eyetwitch* I am a cave dweller of the worst kind, so I know almost nothing about popular culture. Even I know that Mario is a huge Nintendo mascot.

Who are these people and how do they escape this knowledge?

I can see doing so when I'm dropping it off and speaking to a manager about it, but do I need to dress up to be handed a sheet of paper?

I understand where you're coming from. I agree with you. But some people are really funny about first impressions. You never know who they are.

[smileyeagle1021]

I'm surprised no one mentioned on this. Over where I live, we even get the guys with the pants around their ass, boxers showing -"Are you hiring?"
Um. If we were, we wouldn't tell you.

ugh, saggers are very occasionally nice eye candy... but I dread one of them trying to be passed off as professional looking.

Then again, I'm the smart ass who would, if they were in the rare eye candy category, reply to them "only if the position you are applying for is on your knees"

I can see doing so when I'm dropping it off and speaking to a manager about it, but do I need to dress up to be handed a sheet of paper?

I'm somewhat responsible for hiring (as is every long time employee at the hotel). It is required that when someone picks up or turns in an app, if it is given to someone who's not a manager, for the employee to write down their first impression of the person. First thing I'll say if you aren't at least wearing decent clothes (doesn't have to be a suit, but nicer than jeans and a t-shirt) I'm going to write down that my first impression of you is that I don't think you are a very professional person.