You Get What You Pay For

[BookstoreEscapee]

Wow. You should have taken 100%! If she didn't like the cake, she didn't have to use it! She can just go get a bunch of Hostess cupcakes and call it a day. The nerve of some people!

I actually kinda like that idea. I loves me some Hostess chocolate cupcakes. Actually I have refrained from buying a box as recently as today.

One of my friends had a buffet dinner, and a reasonably-sized cake to give everyone a small slice, plus a dessert buffet with several other items. Quite yummy, I must say. (They also saved some cash by having the wedding at a firehouse - her father-in-law is a firefighter so they got a break there - and having it on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. No parties that weekend so halls and caterers tend to be a bit cheaper.)

[Calie]

"Ye-eeeeaaah, but . . . I figured you'd, you know, use your discretion. Make something else. Like roses."
<snip>
"Yeah, but, like . . . I was thinking, marble isn't that hard to do. Why didn't you do that?"
My hands are doing that involuntary flexing/grasping thing they do when I get really frustrated. "Because you didn't ask me to."

Sheesh. As a semi-recent bride, I'd like to think I wasn't that bad. And frankly, I would have been PISSED if the baker had "used discretion" and changed things. It's my wedding cake, I want it how I said I wanted it. Now, given that, the baker was very friendly and gave me excellent ideas, but they still did what I wanted.
/end rant

[Ree]

What an odd bride.

I've done a few wedding cakes, amateur though I am, and I have yet to run into any bride who was so nonchalant about ordering the cake.

First of all, this one waited until only days before her wedding to even think about a cake?
Then, when she did order it, she didn't have any specific details in mind and just left it all to your imagination, specifying only that she wanted yellow cake and basket weave and she would put her own flowers on?

Definitely odd!

The cake is usually part of the whole decor of the wedding, and in many cases, a part of the wedding dinner, so any of the brides I've had are very specific about the flavour of cake, and they will ask to have the flowers on the cake match the flowers from the wedding party. They either want the cake decorated with the flowers that match their own, or, if they say they're using their own, they will use their own, and they don't want fake icing flowers ruining the effect.

Even my nephew and his wife didn't seem to make the cake a priority, but they ordered it at least a month ahead. They just wanted a cupcake wedding cake, and left the design to my discretion, but she was still pretty specific about wanting her wedding colours featured on it, and half the cupcakes being done in a plain white cake, and the other half in chocolate.

Yep...that was definitely one very unusual bride.

And even more bizare behaviour?
She came all by herself, a few hours before the ceremony to get the cake?
Any of the brides I worked with were too darn busy with things like hair and makeup and so, I either dropped the cake off myself, or they had someone in their family pick it up.

Granted you mentioned this was just a small wedding, so I guess there wasn't a whole lot of fussing.

I do have to wonder about 3 large tiers of cake for a wedding with only 20 people. That's a shitload of cake. Is that all they were going to serve?

Oh, and then the bride called saying another 10 guests were added at the last minute, so that required a fourth tier?
Again, a hell of a lot of cake for 30 people, and I do have to say, that's one very casual approach to a wedding for someone who ended up being so picky when it came time to pick up the cake.

Actually, not to fault you, since you did say you usually only bake the cakes and don't do the decorating part, but I find it strange that someone who is as professional as you, and as experienced and familiar with "bridezillas" and their cake issues, wouldn't have written down all the details and asked more questions about what this bride actually wanted.

(Again, I'm not saying it's your own fault, but I guess hindsight is 20/20 and you know now that you need to get it in writing, even if it's for a friend or just a friendly waitress acquaintance from a favourite diner.)

Great ending to the whole tale with proper retribution to this wacky bride, but even with you keeping half the cake, I have a hunch she still had enough to feed her 30 wedding guests with what she did pick up.

[Cookiesaur]

When my husband and I got married at Disney, the staff handled all the real planning -- all we had to do was pick what we wanted. I'd like to think I didn't get as bad as a result. She kept talking about "wedding", but from the way she was talking about her plans, I got the impression she was planning to skimp on the wedding itself and have a party for the reception. (Lucky girl. I was in my dress, heels, and makeup for almost five hours straight.) Her fiance, who was a waiter in the same restaurant, was definitely extremely laid back for the whole affair, although I only met him once or twice.

J may have been making an effort to show how "informal" she wanted the wedding, but clearly what she wanted was for someone to make a fuss over her, which I wasn't prepared to do. Maybe she realised how informal everything really WAS looking when it came down to it and the little frothing bride in her woke up. Honestly? Don't care. I went out of my way to make something for her when she asked for it based on what SHE said SHE wanted, and I wasn't impressed with her turning around and expecting me to read her mind and "offer"
more. Frankly, I don't feel bad for her, because she did mention their honeymoon was going to be a "splurge" cruise they'd been saving up for for years. (If she's smart, she let her son stay with her mother so she had the trip to herself.)

Listen -- I'm not making my reputation as a baker. I talk a lot about it because it was my most recent job and I did a LOT of it. Don't get me wrong -- I'm good at what I do. But I was trained in one, even spent the standard thousand hours in a kitchen with my grandmother, but that doesn't make me a card-carrying professional, and I would never think of marketing myself as one. I don't have the years of experience required to charge people for things I make on the side. I did not want to do this cake, but I had nothing else planned, and she swore up and down that she just "needed" a cake. I'm not a decorator, but she said that didn't matter. She reassured me over and over, all she wanted was a plain yellow cake with a basket weave design on it. I called her several times in the beginning to ask her if she was sure this was what she wanted . . . by then I was hoping she was indeed going to say, "Yeah, we actually decided to go to Sam's Club and get fourty pounds of cheap sheet cake", because I really wasn't having fun with the icing I was working with.

The tiers themselves aren't as big as you apparently think they are -- she didn't want any filling (thank fucking god), so each one was only one layer. I'm not in a bakery anymore. I had your standard set of small spring-form pans, courtesy Bed Bath and Beyond, which she again assured me would be more than enough. I've never claimed to be incredibly experienced when it came to cakes as a part of my job -- I tell stories that have to deal with them, because frankly they're a lot more interesting than the ones about where someone shows up fifteen minutes before a barbecue and wants fifteen dozen kaiser rolls, or forgets to put in an order for twelve loaves of rye but shows up for it anyway.

I've never had a complaint before when I've made a cake or other baked good for a favour, because I've never been asked for something like this. It's always "Can you make a big cake in ____ flavour that says ____ for my birthday?" or "Can you make me a few dozen nanaimo bars for this thing I'm doing?" I do it for practice and for fun, and as a favour to the people who ask, who have up until now been good friends of mine.

The majority of our cakes at the bakery were, in fact, of the previously frozen variety -- all we were required to do with those was to write on them if it was feasible and requested. We had a "cake of the month", which was the only one we ever actually baked, but we usually ended up doing a lot of them -- cakes were "good" for five days, so we made them en masse once a week according to how many we thought we needed . . . which was, as you might expect, either too much or never enough. My "experience" with bridezillas comes from other bakers I have known, one or two friends who went crazy when they put a tiara on, and the orders we had to fill at OUR bakery for other parts of the reception -- we had one woman break down into tears because at the last minute she decided she wanted glazed croissants (four dozen of them) with chocolate drizzle like they have at another bakery and I informed her we had no glaze to do that. (If she had made this change ahead of time, I could have ordered it in and probably gotten it done.).

When my AoS clears and I get my Green Card, will I end up in another bakery somewhere? Maybe, but not because I'm overflowing with fluffy feelings for the work. I've got written recommendations from the Boss and two years manager's experience under my belt that says I'm at least qualified enough to shape dough into a loaf-like shape for minimum wage -- NOT looking for a supervisor position again, thank you very much. Hated it while it was happening. (It was only supposed to be for a "few weeks". Fuckers.) What I would LIKE to do, long term, is go to culinary school and learn the things that really interest me. I don't want my OWN restaurant, but I'd like to be qualified enough to work in a good one. (Although maybe I'll skip the Bourdain-style coke habit that seems to go with the territory.)

Answer your questions?

[Alpha Strike]

The raccoon did not, in fact, appreciate his (or her?) cake; maybe it was too sweet. I left it a raw egg instead, which was accepted. I'd be offended, but what the hell does a raccoon know about moist cake anyway? Watched me suspiciously from the edge of the yard. I'll take the fact that he hasn't given me rabies yet as a sign of gratitude, though.

You must know my girlfriend. She too has this urge to feed the local - and by local I mean anything within a 10 square block radius - animals with goodies ranging from fruit to old cereal. The coons, rabbits, birds, squirrels, chipmunks and deer all love our house even if the neighbors don't.

Nice way of handling the bride; being the typical male I probably would have crumpled at the first sign of waterworks.

[Ree]

Answer your questions?

More than answered them.

[cawaker]

http://www.etiquettehell.com

tons of bridezilla stories and bad manners all around, I love that site.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And now...

Another soon-to-be-hit from I.P. Freleigh's Golden Pee Trough of Hits, Bridezilla.

The idea for this one came to me today, as I was working and the song "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult got stuck in my head for some strange reason. So I threw this together:

With a tear-stained face and a terrible sound
Her anguished screams can be heard across town

Helpless folks in the receiving line
Stare bug-eyed as she throws a tantrum

She picks up the cake and she throws it back down
'Cause the bridesmaid’s dresses aren’t quite the right shade of brown

Oh no, quick duck her flying shoe
Here comes Bridezilla!
What did, the groom get himself into
Here comes Bridezilla!

Bridezilla!
Bridezilla!

The DJ can’t play our song! WAAAAAAH
Where’s the damn photographer!
My mascara is running! OMG do you have any idea
How much time I spent doing my makeup?
My special day and it’s RUINED!

History shows again and again
What happens when some men marry some wo-men

Bridezilla!

History shows again and again
What happens when some men marry some wo-men

Bridezilla!

[lordlundar]

What is it about weddings that does this to people, anyway?

It's "their" special day where they are the most important person int he world and everyone goes to extra lengths to please them.

Is it any wonder why brides often look like she's going to her greatest dream while the groom looks like he's going to the executioner?

[zzapp the witch]

I once got uninvited to a wedding by doing my job---specifically assigned by the bride to keep her from being a bridezilla and embarrassing herself.

The Bride? My little sister.

The action that warranted my uninvitation? I told her to "Get a grip" when she was throwing an absolute tantrum at our county fair in front of the 4-H kids. (I'm co-superintendent of the small animal barn with my mom). She had been working hard all week, between the fair and finishing touches on the wedding 3 weeks after. She was frazzled, tired, and a little bit crazy. Wouldn't go home when my mom was begging her to, cause mom could see the Bridzilla incoming. Oh, and apparently the tantrum was because she thought I would spread tawdry gossip about a person I barely know (but hold in high regard), who was getting a divorce.....I still don't know what the gossip is supposed to be.....

At the wedding everyone asked where I was, since my kids were a flower girl and 2 ring bearers (my 7 and 9 year old found out from the babysitter girl they got replaced by a dog with a pillow tied to its back, they were very hurt). Neither my mom nor I know what she told them. Though if I ever did find out I'd probably laugh.

On her wedding day, I took my kids to the beach to try and make them forget that their aunt was treating them like trivial little accessories (the only thing that's ever pissed me off, cause my daughter STILL practices for being a flower girl 6 months later, I mean, I coulda dropped em off). And she kept all the money I paid out for the boys' tuxes (she asked for the refund before I even knew I was uninvited, its been over 6 months and she's still telling my mom someone at the Post Office must have lost or stolen the money she mailed me).

She hasn't had the balls to speak to me or be anywhere I might be since her tantrum. (Didn't even show up for the dinner on her b-day that we had planned months in advance and drove 4 hours to get to in the town where she's living).

I love my little sister, but I sure hate brides. How long after the wedding do they pull their heads out of their asses and start acting like people again?

[Red_Dazes]

I hate cake.... I'm gonna have pie for my wedding..... lots of home made pies. and if any one bitches about it I'll kill em. .....It's just a wedding... jesus... If I thought my family would let me get away with it I'd be getting married in my most comfy blue jeans and a sweater.... maybe I'll go to Vegas.... no one bitches at you in Vegas....


....Seriously though.... you're fee should have included 50% as well as a cake to the face.

[Snowbird]

The only thing I can think of that would've made that better would've been to set fire to it in front of her, and I bet cake doesn't burn very well.

I think taking a huge handful out of the cake and shoving it as messily as possible into my mouth while very audibly enjoying it would have been my reply. It may not be the most mature route but it is just desserts.

She can just go get a bunch of Hostess cupcakes and call it a day.

One of my teachers in middle school got married during the year and had Twinkies arranged as her cake, that was awesome. Of course, so was the fact that she and her hubby-to-be wore pirate costumes and ran up the aisle wielding their swords.

I love my little sister, but I sure hate brides. How long after the wedding do they pull their heads out of their asses and start acting like people again?

If she's still pulling that stuff now? It'll take years unless someone slaps her upside the head with a reality stick. A former best friend of mine found fault with me while I was away at college(I was convicted without being told my 'crime'), and neglected to even invite me to her wedding. Years later when she was expecting her first child, she gave me one of the leftover invitations as an afterthought. Yeah. The friendship never recovered.

[Fox One]

This reminds me of a scene from that show Bridezillas. I think the whole series was summed up in that episode (in response to a Bridezilla being informed she wouldn't be able to bypass a months-long waiting list at an exclusive bakery) in one red-faced shriek of rage, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!"

[Alpha Strike]

This reminds me of a scene from that show Bridezillas. I think the whole series was summed up in that episode (in response to a Bridezilla being informed she wouldn't be able to bypass a months-long waiting list at an exclusive bakery) in one red-faced shriek of rage, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!"

It's hard for me to watch that show, even in short spurts.

On one hand, I enjoy watching the train-wreck that these affairs turn into. On the other hand, it's so frustrating watching grown-ups act like such tools. Yes, you're getting married - that should mean you're capable of acting like an adult now.

[Threesidedorchid]

Good grief.

Excellent pwnage though. I'm surprised you let her take *any* of it with her. I probably would have started dropping the tiers one by one... smallest to largest.. for every complaint she gave.
but with your way, at least you and your friends got cake : )