From The Maw of Darkness

[Rapscallion]

Wow. I both want to know what it is and don't ever want to find out....

The curiosity is winning. Shame on it.

Tragically, it's pretty crap. It was something called 'These Words' by Natasha Bedingfield. That song just popped into my head when I was reading Gravekeeper's post.

Rapscallion

[morwynskya]

I find myself oddly comforted by your accounts, GK. They put my strange interludes into a sort of fun-house mirrored perspective. Thank you.

[BookstoreEscapee]

How do you stay sane?

Are you reading the same thing as the rest of us? What the hell makes you think he's sane?

On second thoughts, no cookie. I can has vodka?

I have blueberry vodka...you can have what's left if you want. Goes good with lemonade.

You can have this and this and one of these, , too if you need 'em for...anything....

[Jester]

I just this minute got dumped by my oh-so-delightfully deceitful boyfrined who has apparently been seeing his ex behind my back and asked her to marry him yesterday.

I can has vodka?

1. Your ex is a raging turbocharged shit beast. Fuck him. Fuck him with a rusty barbed wire covered cattle prod. I hope his ex/fiance gives him a debilitating case of herpes. And crabs. Yes, crabs. Nasty little buggers. They'd feel right at home with him, I'm sure.

2. I don't have vodka, but I can offer you rum. And trust me, I know some really funtastic rums and rum drinks.

3. But only if you don't say "I can has rum?" Drives me nuts. I'm weird like that.

[Gravekeeper]

1. Your ex is a raging turbocharged shit beast. Fuck him. Fuck him with a rusty barbed wire covered cattle prod.

I believe the terminology I shouted at the ceiling after a call this week, much to the surprise of my co-worker, was "Oh. My. God. Fuck you, FUCK YOU WITH A SHOVEL"

[Broomjockey]

3. But only if you don't say "I can has rum?" Drives me nuts. I'm weird like that.

Because you have taste and intelligence. I firmly believe that speech pattern is the stupidest thing to escape the internet ever.

[sms001]

Because you have taste and intelligence. I firmly believe that speech pattern is the stupidest thing to escape the internet ever.

Above and beyond the "teh?"

[Broomjockey]

Above and beyond the "teh?"

Yes. "Teh" and "pwn" at least have ironic value. "I can has" is murdering grammar. If you ever really want to mourn the death of the English language on the Internet, read the comments on the icanhascheezeburger.com pictures. The first time I read "nawt sekund" I was ready to murder.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yes. "Teh" and "pwn" at least have ironic value. "I can has" is murdering grammar. If you ever really want to mourn the death of the English language on the Internet, read the comments on the icanhascheezeburger.com pictures. The first time I read "nawt sekund" I was ready to murder.

OK, I'll confess to using "I can has" on occasion, completely in a joking manner, and I check out to icanhascheezeburger every day, but I absolutely cannot read the comments on there. When I first found the site I read some of the comments and said "seriously?" So annoying.

[sms001]

SC: “Uh, sec……..um……there’s so many hats.”

Gold.

SC: “He says you have some kinda express shipping?”
Me: “Yes, we do.”

Wait.

He needs a hat that he literally didn't know existed two minutes ago expressed? And they say U.S. citizens have a tough time with instant gratification....

God, you really hate this man, don’t you?

And by extension, you, us.

Than her purse moved. A pair of tiny, quivering little claws appeared and this small, grotesque rat like Hell goblin pulled itself loose from its bonds and repeated its caterwauling.

Only you could take me from "The Goonies" to "Gremlins" in two minutes GK.

How's the back?

[sms001]

is murdering grammar. If you ever really want to mourn the death of the English language on the Internet, read the comments on the icanhascheezeburger.com pictures.

Thanks, no, the caps are enough.

Whenever I feel that way though, I try to remember that the real beauty of our language IS its flexibility. And that the bard of Avon and his cohorts made up words and phrases out of whole cloth that are still with us today. And that cool used to be a temperature range.

[Becks]

told him she loves him over and over and over and over for a full two minutes. Yes, seriously. Quite literally "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you" and so and so on for over 2 minutes.

Sound like you've been replaced.

If you need comforting, let me know.

[Jester]

I believe the terminology I shouted at the ceiling after a call this week, much to the surprise of my co-worker, was "Oh. My. God. Fuck you, FUCK YOU WITH A SHOVEL"

1. At this point, why would your coworker really be surprised by such an outburst from you?

2. A shovel? That's it? YOU? You have let me down, man. You have shattered my image of you as a verbal artist. Shovel? Meh. You are better than that.

I firmly believe that speech pattern is the stupidest thing to escape the internet ever.

Oh, far stupider has escaped the net. Seriously.

[Midnight_Angel]

Oh, far stupider has escaped the net. Seriously.

Such as? (just being curious)

[Gravekeeper]

Because you have taste and intelligence. I firmly believe that speech pattern is the stupidest thing to escape the internet ever.

I have a coworker that thinks these are funny and actually speaks in "lolcat" out loud at times. Oh my god it drives me insane.

How's the back?

Much better. Still has its stiffness and creaks, but at least I can function like a normal human being now.

Sound like you've been replaced.

She thinks whomever answers the line is me. Even if they sound nothing like me. She also stated that she "saw me" the other day than described someone that looks nothing like me. Whomever that man is, I pity him so much. At least I'm safe behind a phone line. But him, she knows his face.

2. A shovel? That's it? YOU? You have let me down, man. You have shattered my image of you as a verbal artist. Shovel? Meh. You are better than that.

I don't generally repeat shift chatter here. Mainly because I have crafted mental images mid shift that have made my coworker go "....aw, awwwwww, dude, what the hell? Oh god. I hate you.".