Dumb questions customers ask...

[Retail Associate]

As I mentioned in my original post, I work in the Fashions dept. I had one guy come up to me and say...

"My girlfriend is this tall." (Holds his hand about shoulder height.) "What size would she wear?"

On another occasion a man approached me and said, "My wife is a rather large woman. What size do you think she wears?"

Me: "I have no idea."

SC: (Looks around for a bit and spots a large woman heading toward us.) "She's about the size of that woman right there."

Me: "I'm sorry sir, I don't know what size that woman is either."

SC: To the large woman..."What size do you wear?"

Large Woman:

Me:

[Antisocial_Worker]

Are your rooms clean?

What am I supposed to say to that? No! They're crawling with vermin -- get out while you still have a chance!

[ArenaBoy]

"What's the difference between VIP and general?"
"One pays more for a closer spot, the other doesn't."

[HawaiianShirts]

SC: "Well, what's the difference between them?"
Me: "This one is white, and this one is stainless steel."

I love the "what's the difference" questions, especially when the question describes the difference.

SC: What's the difference between these flash drives? I know they're the same brand, but one says 1GB and one says 2GB.
Me: One holds more information.

SC: So, what's up with these CDs? These are black, and these are silver, and these are red and blue and yellow and other colors. What's the difference?
Me: They're different colors.

SC: What's the difference between between the 17" monitor and the 19" one?
Me: One's bigger.
SC: (Because he didn't belive me.) No, I mean, what's the DIFFERENCE?
Me: One's bigger. By two inches. Measured diagonally.
SC: (Looks at me expecting more.)
Me: Brand is the same. Design is the same. Resolution, contrast ratio, response time, and video input types are the same. Warranty is the same. Hell, even the BOXES look the same. One is just bigger. That's it.
SC: No, other than size. What's the difference?
Me: You mean price? Thirty bucks.
SC: I don't think you're listening to me. I want to know what makes them DIFFERENT from each other. They're OBVIOUSLY different!
Me: Yeah. By two inches. That is ALL. It's just SIZE and PRICE. It's not like one cures the common cold while the other one makes your coffee and drives you to work or anything.
SC: Fine. I'll just get the 19" inch. This is too confusing for me.

[Worker-Intellectual]

That's strange, when I was last at the hardware store I heard nearly exactly the same exchange. The clerk kept explaining what primer is and why one needs it and the customer kept saying, "But I don't want to! Do I have to? It's stupid!" He actually said "it's stupid."

Wow... someone actually said that primer is stupid...

SC: "I drilled a 1/4 inch hole in my concrete. Do you have any screws to go in it?"
Me: *gives dumb look to hardware guy*
HG: "You're kinda putting the cart before the horse there."

SC: "Why is the white one more expensive than the stainless steel one?"
Me: "Because the stainless steel one is on sale."
SC: "Well, what's the difference between them?"
Me: "This one is white, and this one is stainless steel."

SC: "So, what's the difference between these two rackets."
Me: "That's a tennis racket and that's a badminton racket."
SC: "Can I use the badminton one to play tennis?"

[Hicksey]

When I did helpdesk for a local Internet Service Provider I got a customer that asked one of the funnier stupid questions I have heard.

She told me that her friend was thinking about getting the Internet and she asked me how she could download the whole Internet onto a floppy disk so she could take it over to her friend's house with her.

I was really glad to have a mute button on my plantronics headset that day.

[Sofar]

SC: "But I don't want to!"
Me: "You need primer."

That's strange, when I was last at the hardware store I heard nearly exactly the same exchange. The clerk kept explaining what primer is and why one needs it and the customer kept saying, "But I don't want to! Do I have to? It's stupid!" He actually said "it's stupid."

[SonOfSpam]

From when I worked at Six Flags Over Texas (a theme/amusement park in Arlington, Texas)

SC: Where can we meet Mickey Mouse?

ME: Um. At Disneyland in California or Disney World in Florida.

SC: What do you mean? Isn't this Disneyland?

ME: No. This is Six Flags Over Texas. The name is written on your ticket and on all the signs as you entered. We are not Disney.

SC: Well you have just RUINED our vacation.

Hahahahahaha! You have just made my day, wow...I mean WOW

[skeptic53]

SC: Well you have just RUINED our vacation.

Ok, forgot rule #1 and have to clean the monitor, plus NO working brain cells remain, fused into a solid ceramic block... HFS, that is messed up...

[Seanette]

From a tourist visiting a Revolutionary War re-enactor's encampment:

"Is that a real fire?"

And no one invited the tourist to stick his/her hand in and find out? I admire the restraint exhibited here. :-)

[I See Stupid People]

1) What comes on your Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit?

2a) Your two for a dollar pie special? How many pies come with that?

2b)".............................................. .............. " How much does that cost?

3) Is my coupon expired? (Reads me the date) Yes sir, that expired last month... this is November now.

[South Texan]

From when I worked at Six Flags Over Texas (a theme/amusement park in Arlington, Texas)

SC: Where can we meet Mickey Mouse?

ME: Um. At Disneyland in California or Disney World in Florida.

SC: What do you mean? Isn't this Disneyland?

ME: No. This is Six Flags Over Texas. The name is written on your ticket and on all the signs as you entered. We are not Disney.

SC: Well you have just RUINED our vacation.

[Worker-Intellectual]

It seems like every time I am in the general vicinity of the screw aisle...

SC: "I need something to screw something really heavy into drywall."
Me: "You're gonna have to find a stud."
SC: "But I want to screw it into drywall!"
Me: "It's too heavy. Drywall doesn't support much weight. You need to either brace it from behind or screw it into a stud."
SC: "But I don't want to!"
Me: *sigh* "There's some toggle bolts over there. Try that." *hopes they don't come crying to me when their crap falls down on them*

SC: "Do I have to use primer?"
Me: "Yes."
SC: "But my paint is white."
Me: "You still need primer for the paint to stick to the wall."
SC: "But I don't want to!"
Me: "You need primer."

[MadMike]

"Where do you keep the Halloween costumes?"


Uh...not here, this is a grocery store...

Actually, the grocery store in my area sells a few seasonal items, including Halloween costumes. Not a very big selection of them, but they still sell them.

[MadMike]

I don't know if this really qualifies as a Stupid Customer question, but it always bugged me when people would ask for a Nintendo 'tape'.

I thought I was the only one with that particular pet peeve. I remember having an Atari 2600 (showing my age here), and some people referring to the game cartridges as "tapes." Yes, they were about the size of an 8-track tape (there I go again), but there wasn't actually any "tape" of any sort inside it.