Generally stupid things customers do ... add you own

[ArenaBoy]

People blocking exits are a pain, I've dealt with customers who will block roads just so they can pick their kids up. And the stupid things I have to add :

1. Using puns to get into suite lot (I'm suite aka sweet) That is basically my "It must be free" line.
2. The I pay insert dollar amount line.
3. Driving through the chains and taking cones, barrels, or both with them. I actually saw a barrel on the freeway that a customer took with him the night before.
4. My personal favorite, the I'm on the guest list. These people sadly think that a manager will be the only one who will have the list. I get a lot of entertainment out of that.

[Kitten in the box]

People who THINK you will give them a discount on a particular item that is priced less at another store (same as yours)...usually its a sale and on the sale paper it says good for so and so store only. They get PISSED when you say its for that store and all of a sudden you need the assistant manager, store manager, the DM, and the President of the United states to calm this customer down.

People who ask lame ass questions when it is obvious what the answer is? (i.e. there are no carts in the cartstalls...they ask..."There are no carts in your cartstalls?)

People who mumble what they want...(no we do not carry mgjdllanl; product....)

Is there no end to their stupidity?

[csdrone]

"But I have been coming here for YEARS and everyone else lets me get cash without a question." I do not know you as well as they do and I do not go against policy: I like my job.... Maybe I am more concerned for their future financial health but I need a state or federal (or Matricula consular) issued ID that is VALID (meaning current) or no money for you. And "I just got outa jail is not reason to not have a state ID.
This was a new one this week: "MY BANK lets me cash someone else's check without it being signed over to me..."

[Jester]

Yes, that would be the well-known and highly reputable Bank of Bullshit.

[Department stores *sigh*]

my biggest peeve during xmas is when we have a super hot toy running in the flyer for saturday and then SC rushing in at 4pm wednesday afternoon screaming that we are running fals advertising and that we ruined her christmas because its the santa gift.

Learn to sacrifice your sleep and/or time if you people care this much.

and as we all know 'A lack of planning on your part does not constitute as an emergency on my part'

[TennesseePieman]

We keep menus on the counter at our restaurant. The whole top half of the menu lists, in big print, the different specials we are currently offering, and the lower half of the menu lists all the items we carry (like sandwiches and salads and whatnot).

Customers will come up to the counter, take a menu back to their table to look it over (I don't have a problem with them taking a couple minutes, as it's a fairly diverse list of stuff), and after appearing to have studied the menu and discussed it with their family, will come back to the counter to ask me if we have any specials.

[irateguy]

Two things

1 People who cant read signs
2 People who think my wheeler or the green rack or the islands are their personal garabage cans. Case In point I had some lady come up to me yesterday with a MC'D's cup and Bag and ask me if the boxes on my wheeler were trash I stood silent for about 30 secs then I told her there was a garabage can by the deli. There was also a garabage can in the front of the store she couldve used.
Also we sell crappy Starbucks in our store and people leave their half drunken cups on the green rack so that coffee can spill all over the iceberg lettuce

[TennesseePieman]

Oh, I almost forgot the stupidest question ever asked in a pizzeria, anywhere. "How many slices are in a medium?" As if by having more slices it would somehow be a larger pizza. Yeesh.

[MadMike]

Oh, I almost forgot the stupidest question ever asked in a pizzeria, anywhere. "How many slices are in a medium?" As if by having more slices it would somehow be a larger pizza. Yeesh.

"Would you like your pizza cut into six slices or eight slices?"

"Just six. I don't think I can eat eight slices."

[batmoody]

I have worked at my store for 18 years this last October. Yes, I really have been serving you since 1988.
I hate when someone comes in and says something like "Oh, you must be new. I've been shopping here for years and I've never seen you before."

My comeback, "Yeah.... 18 years new."
Or
"Actually, I've been at this store for 18 years now and I don't think I ever remember seeing you either.

[Hicksey]

I HATE people blocking places people need to walk. I'm slim enough now that I can usually maneuver my way around with a series of yoga and tai chi moves. But I still have a problem in school, where some rooms and halls are simply too thin for a group of a clique to just be standing around.
I'm a senior in high school, this year. I'll admit, I can be a little mean and we all rag on the freshmen. One day, I was in the choir room practicing an audition piece in the morning. Some freshmen, who have freshmen choir first period, were gathered by the door. I went to leave and they were all blocking that little space there is between the chairs and some boxes (we're moving to a new high school after this week).
So I, being the least likely to put up with general stupidity, loudly proclaimed 'No, really!' and other such things as I almost rudely pushed passed the group. Seriously, I would do this to anyone, even a senior group. It makes me mad when they do it, but luckily in the new school, they can't.

Mongo Skruddgemire detailed this same thing above. I absolutely hate these idiots. They are so dumb that they can't find a better place congregate than in front of something/somplace a bunch of people would likely want to get to. On top of that they usually give you dirty looks for recognizing their stupidity and acknowledging it out loud.

My trick is to push my way through loudly musing the whole way about how it is that people are never truly happy unless they are in your way. My wife then asks in a rhetorical manner (just as loudly) how dumb one must have to be to not be able to find a better place for their department store reunion than in front of - and blocking - the entrance/exit.

I don't mind the dirty looks because its how I know I have gotten my point across and that the offenders realize how much of a tool I think they are.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Heh, don't you all know the trick for clearing the doors?

Get right in the middle of the group, then scream and throw a panic attack. "YOU'RE CROWDING ME!! YOU'RE CROWDING ME!! AHHHHHHHH!!" If you can stand flinging yourself down on concrete and rolling around kicking and shrieking, all the better. And if you're like me and can cry on command, we're talking slam dunk.

Like my mom says "They're the ones who have to prove that you AREN'T crazy."

[AFpheonix]

I can think of a better trick for clearing spaces in front of the door:

[DesignFox]

my biggest peeve during xmas is when we have a super hot toy running in the flyer for saturday and then SC rushing in at 4pm wednesday afternoon screaming that we are running fals advertising and that we ruined her christmas because its the santa gift.

Learn to sacrifice your sleep and/or time if you people care this much.

and as we all know 'A lack of planning on your part does not constitute as an emergency on my part'

Yea. I had a lady come in my store and rant at me about how "ridiculous" it was that we ran out of a free item with purchase of product X, that was LIMITED TIME ONLY/WHILE SUPPLIES LAST...on the THIRD day of the offer...get here on day 1, fool! What was funny, was that one of her family members mentioned that they saw the "free" item available for purchase online- I explained to her that if she wanted one that badly, she could order it as it was only a $2 item...she got a huge hard-on and complained, "Then you have PAY for it..." and reiterated how "ridiculous" it was... of course, she was nasty to me from the moment she stepped up to the register, so I knew where the rest of the conversation was headed anyway.... assclown...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Heh, don't you all know the trick for clearing the doors?

Get right in the middle of the group, then scream and throw a panic attack. "YOU'RE CROWDING ME!! YOU'RE CROWDING ME!! AHHHHHHHH!!" If you can stand flinging yourself down on concrete and rolling around kicking and shrieking, all the better. And if you're like me and can cry on command, we're talking slam dunk.

Like my mom says "They're the ones who have to prove that you AREN'T crazy."

*Making notes*

Seeing as I hate crowds around me (yes, I'm a bit claustrophobic) I am so tempted to do that - as long as my mom isn't shopping with me.

When she's with me, she'll beep the hell out of the horn on the electric scooter. If that doens't work, I find an extremely loud "EXCUSE ME!!!" works wonders.

Bonus points if you get the CBF while smiling at them and politely nodding your head "Thank You" as you merrily waltz past them.