Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Dude. Worst. Advice. EVAR!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Dude. Worst. Advice. EVAR!

    Little background. I have a firm handshake. Always have. It's not a death-grip type handshake, but most people are a little surprised such a firm grip is coming from a female. Last week I helped a guy with his printing. It was taking sometime since the computer decided to be onery, so he introduced himself, I introduced myself, we shook hands. Little did I know that this was a mistake.

    He came in again this morning and proceeded to yell from the back of the room asking if we had a class this morning. I got up from my desk to go to him and demonstrate the proper volume for speaking in my lab, but he kept screaming his question at me. So about half-way to him I answered in the affirmative and reminded him to please keep his voice down.

    Loud Guy: Then answer my question!
    Me: *grumbling to myself* Don't yell and I might.

    Fast forward a few minutes to me clearing the lab for class and switching the computers to the class log in. As I approach the computers in the back, LG gets all up in my bubble (and for the record, my bubble extends out to the point where I can no longer reach with a leg or arm for a well-deserved smack ) and starts whispering in my ear.

    LG: *now whispering* A piece of advice for you. And you don't have to take it.
    Me: Oh great. He's going to whine that I told him to shut up earlier. Engage Brain-to-Mouth Filter(TM)
    LG: Don't ever shake a man's hand like that.
    Me:
    LG: A woman don't need to shake hands like that cuz she's a woman and she doesn't have to prove herself.
    Me: I got nothin to prove to you, buddy.
    LG: That's just some good advice. Not meant to offend you.
    Me: Little late for that.

    Ok, I wasn't that offended once I realized how stupid it was. Passive Aggressive Fail. I have recieved many comments on my handshake and his was the only one to date that was negative in nature. Quite frankly, everyone else has been very impressed with my handshake. One person that I really respect made sure I shook hands with everyone in his department because he was so impressed. I also belong to a demographic that shakes hands more often than other people give hugs. I have been trained in the art of a good handshake since I learned what that thing at the end of my arm was. So, my dear LG, kindly eff off. Fortunately for you, I have recently been fussed at for a glitch in my Brain-to-Mouth Filter(TM) and am really trying to watch my mouth.

    I need a stage name for work. Something ominous. Something to strike ph34r into the hearts of obnoxious patrons. And on a completely different note, my ear still feels dirty. I need a shower now.
    I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

  • #2
    Huh... I have a 'limp' handshake.
    I don't care what others think of me, really...
    "I'm not trying to prove anything to you, sir, I'm trying to crush your hand to death, much in the same way you apparently want me deaf..."
    "I call murder on that!"

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm a weakling. But then again, I don't give handshakes unless prompted and even then I'll avoid it. Somehow I'll avoid it, darn it!!
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

      Comment


      • #4
        I've got a firm handshake for a woman, I think.

        Of course, this has led to people trying to "outgrip" me (I kid you not), and almost resulted in one man nearly BREAKING MY FREAKING HAND...

        But whatever.
        "Do not quibble with me over apostrophes. I have my shit together when it comes to apostrophes." - BookBint

        Comment


        • #5
          You have nothing to feel bad about. A firm handshake is a sign of respect. Seems he aint got any.

          Comment


          • #6
            Back in high school, I took as many business classes as I could. I was taught in all of them that a firm handshake, like Bright_Star said, was a sign of respect. Also, it proves you know how to shake hands. Who wants to either shake finger tips or a fish? It also means you mean business and people will respect you more for the handshake. Anyone scared of a firm handshake is an idiot.

            Comment


            • #7
              I have always been told that a person's handshake is part of the first impression they make when they meet someone. I have cultivated a firm handshake over the years, simply because of the nature of my career, competition is stiff and it doesn't work to come off as over assertive, but too weak of a handshake leaves no impression at all.
              Tamezin

              Comment


              • #8
                This guy was just "out-manned" by you. Dude needs to grow a spine!

                Comment


                • #9
                  A couple of people have discovered that it's a bad idea to try and cruch my hand in a hand shake.

                  I have a recorded grip strength of 75kg.
                  If I dropped everybody who occasionally said something stupid from my list of potential partners, I wouldn’t even be able to masturbate

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think I have a firm handshake, for someone with wimpy hands. It's always such a let down when someone else shakes my hand like an overcooked noodle
                    "For the love of all that is holy and 4 things that aren’t but feel pretty good anyway" ~ Gravekeeper

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My grip Strength was recorded as 170 psi once. That's hard enough to bend (relatively) thin metal. Needless to say, Playing games of 'handshake' Always ended up with someone other than me crying uncle.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I have a firm handshake.

                        People have tried to crush my hand.

                        I hid the pain I felt until I'd make them cry.

                        I'm so nice.

                        Oh, and to the OP, I'm surprised he didn't add the words "little lady". I just kept picturing that.
                        Unseen but seeing
                        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                        3rd shift needs love, too
                        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I have had people comment - always favourably - on my handshake. Dad taught me to shake hands firmly; he has no patience for people, male OR female, with dead-fish handshakes! If a guy criticised me for it I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing at him.

                          (My hands are pretty strong now from cycling (brake grips) and from making wire jewellery, but I don't think my handshake has changed at all).

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth MoxisPilot View Post
                            Of course, this has led to people trying to "outgrip" me (I kid you not), and almost resulted in one man nearly BREAKING MY FREAKING HAND...
                            Yeah, there's a difference between a firm handshake and a crushing one. Met a man once who decided he had to crush my hand. It didn't help that I was suffering from tenosynovitis at the time. Let's just say that every head in the room turned when I screamed from pain! (I didn't mean to scream, but it caught me by surprise. You don't expect a man to be quite so rough towards a new female acquaintance.)

                            Firm handshake = good
                            Limp dead fish handshake = bad
                            Crusher handshake = worse

                            Gotta find that middle ground.
                            Last edited by XCashier; 04-16-2009, 10:54 PM.
                            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                            My LiveJournal
                            A page we can all agree with!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I agree, middle ground=good. I was at a thing on Tuesday with some people (yes, I'll deliberately being non-specific) and a gentlemen introduced himself, it wasn't quite bone crusher but almost. When the other girl got their and was introduced you could tell he hurt her hand, of course she's too polite/shy to say anything. Anyway the handshake was the least of his problems.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X