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Long time lurker, first time poster!
I work in a call centre for a major mobile phone company in Australia (thats cell phones for you Americans and other foreigners out there
) I once added up that I've taken over 2 million calls since I've been working there, so I've got heeeeeaps of tales to tell. Here is a small sampling of the suckiness I've come across in my time...
Someone changed the decimal system and didn't tell me..
Me = Duh!
SC = Sucky old man
Me: Welcome to <My company> your speaking with <Me>
SC: Yes, my phone won't work blah blah blah
Me: Ok, I'll have a look and see if I can fix it for you. Can I please have your mobile number?
SC: xxxxxx three thousand
Me: That was xxxxxx three triple zero?
SC: No, its xxxxxx three triple nine
Me: Oh sorry, I thought you said three thousand
SC: I did.
Me: .... I'm sorry?
SC: (Now yelling) Thats how you express three thousand! Three triple nine!
Me: ......?
Can I have some free money?
Quite often, customers call because they have no credit on their phone, but need to make a call. If they can give us a good enough reason, we'll usually put a few dollars on, just enough to let them make one call.
Me: Duh again!
SC: Young female opportunist.
Me: Welcome to <My company> you're speaking with <Me>
SC: Hi, can I have some free credit?
Me: For what reason?
SC: Just because.
Me: No.
SC: Well I had to try.
Indeed you did. And now you have. Next time, try thinking these things through before you call.
Too much information!
Me: I think you've figured it out by now
FSE: Female 'self entertainer'.
Me: Welcome to <My Company> you're speaking with <Me>
FSE: Hello!
Me: Hello. How can I help you?
FSE: (Giggling in a slightly creepy way) Guess what I've been doing!
Me: Um, I don't know.
FSE: (Sounding very proud of herself) I've been calling your call centre and telling them that I'm masturbating!
Me: Are you aware that making those kind of calls can result in you being blacklisted from calling us and your number being disconnected?
FSE: uhhh.. uhhh..
Me: I'm releasing your call now.
I mean, come on. You're telling people that you're TELLING people that you're playing with yourself. If you're gonna do it, do it properly. And in the privacy of your own home.
You want to buy WHAT??
OL: Old lady
I sell mobile phones. When you call us, you hear a recording saying 'Thanks for calling <Mobile phone company>' While you're on hold, it reminds you every 30 seconds who you've called. When I answer, my greeting says 'Welcome to <Mobile phone company>.
OL: Yes, I'd like to place an order for my husband.
Me: Ok, do you know what you'd like to order?
OL: Yes.
Me: Ok, what would you like?
OL: Incontinence pads.
Me: ... I'm sorry?
OL: (Slightly impatient) Incontinence pads.
Me: ... Do you realise you've called <Mobile phone company?>
OL: Oh, have I?
Seriously?? I mean, SERIOUSLY??? And she didn't even sound embarrassed once she realised she had the wrong number!
I've got plenty more where these came from!
I work in a call centre for a major mobile phone company in Australia (thats cell phones for you Americans and other foreigners out there
) I once added up that I've taken over 2 million calls since I've been working there, so I've got heeeeeaps of tales to tell. Here is a small sampling of the suckiness I've come across in my time...Someone changed the decimal system and didn't tell me..
Me = Duh!
SC = Sucky old man
Me: Welcome to <My company> your speaking with <Me>
SC: Yes, my phone won't work blah blah blah
Me: Ok, I'll have a look and see if I can fix it for you. Can I please have your mobile number?
SC: xxxxxx three thousand
Me: That was xxxxxx three triple zero?
SC: No, its xxxxxx three triple nine
Me: Oh sorry, I thought you said three thousand
SC: I did.
Me: .... I'm sorry?
SC: (Now yelling) Thats how you express three thousand! Three triple nine!
Me: ......?
Can I have some free money?
Quite often, customers call because they have no credit on their phone, but need to make a call. If they can give us a good enough reason, we'll usually put a few dollars on, just enough to let them make one call.
Me: Duh again!
SC: Young female opportunist.
Me: Welcome to <My company> you're speaking with <Me>
SC: Hi, can I have some free credit?
Me: For what reason?
SC: Just because.
Me: No.
SC: Well I had to try.
Indeed you did. And now you have. Next time, try thinking these things through before you call.
Too much information!
Me: I think you've figured it out by now
FSE: Female 'self entertainer'.
Me: Welcome to <My Company> you're speaking with <Me>
FSE: Hello!
Me: Hello. How can I help you?
FSE: (Giggling in a slightly creepy way) Guess what I've been doing!
Me: Um, I don't know.
FSE: (Sounding very proud of herself) I've been calling your call centre and telling them that I'm masturbating!
Me: Are you aware that making those kind of calls can result in you being blacklisted from calling us and your number being disconnected?
FSE: uhhh.. uhhh..
Me: I'm releasing your call now.
I mean, come on. You're telling people that you're TELLING people that you're playing with yourself. If you're gonna do it, do it properly. And in the privacy of your own home.
You want to buy WHAT??
OL: Old lady
I sell mobile phones. When you call us, you hear a recording saying 'Thanks for calling <Mobile phone company>' While you're on hold, it reminds you every 30 seconds who you've called. When I answer, my greeting says 'Welcome to <Mobile phone company>.
OL: Yes, I'd like to place an order for my husband.
Me: Ok, do you know what you'd like to order?
OL: Yes.
Me: Ok, what would you like?
OL: Incontinence pads.
Me: ... I'm sorry?
OL: (Slightly impatient) Incontinence pads.
Me: ... Do you realise you've called <Mobile phone company?>
OL: Oh, have I?
Seriously?? I mean, SERIOUSLY??? And she didn't even sound embarrassed once she realised she had the wrong number!
I've got plenty more where these came from!
yes, I did have a roommate that did that 
to try to prevent any brain cells from dying.
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