Don't laugh at me when YOU'RE wrong! (and other stories)

[customersruinmylife]

Today was fun...

Don't laugh at me when you're wrong!

An old man comes to the bar (the pub has a VERY high old man population)

OM: Pint of Carling and a pint of Fosters.

For those who do not know, Carling and Fosters are lagers. I pour the drinks, and tell him which is which.

Me: OK so I've got your Carling, and the Fosters is this one here.
OM: Uhhhh...that is not what I ordered.
Me: It isn't?
OM: No. I wanted a Fosters and John Smiths.

John Smiths is a bitter, completely different to lager. No matter. I assumed I must have misheard him. A co-worker came up to me.

CW: Customersruinmylife, I could have SWORN you got his order right.

I took over the new drink.

Me: OK, so I've got the Fosters and the Johns.
OM: No! No! No! That is not what I ordered!
Me: OK, what did you order?
OM: I wanted a Carling and a Johns! You have completely misunderstood me!
Me: First you asked for a Carling and a Fosters. Then you asked for a Fosters and a Johns, and now you want a Carling and a Johns?
OM: No! I want a Carling and a Fosters!

A customer standing next to him mouthed "What the fuck?"

Me: But that's what you asked for in the first place! And you said I was wrong!
OM: Then what have you made me then?
Me: A Fosters and a Johns!
OM: Fine! I guess that will have to do!

He handed me the money.

OM: You really don't know what you're doing do you?

He walked away laughing!

It wasn't a scam. If it was a scam he would have asked for the leftover drinks, but he didn't.

Way to cheer us up!

I really don't like the fact that my new pub is next to a church. We get so many funerals in, and spending your day surrounded by drunk people mourning a loved one is just not fun.

FM = Funeral Man
PCW = Pregnant Co-worker

Funeral Man was attempting to make conversation with pregnant co-worker.

FM: As you've probably guessed we've just come from a funeral.
PCW: Yes...I am sorry about that.
FM: It was my dad. He died last week.
PCW: I am sorry.
FM: It's the only thing that's certain in life isn't it? That we're all going to die. Makes you wonder what's the point in doing anything anymore.

He walked away. He said this to a PREGNANT woman who is celebrating life.

PCW: Customersruinmylife, do you have a razorblade I could borrow?

Snob

The funeral party made us very busy. Wednesday afternoons are normally VERY quiet, and all of a sudden we were run off our feet. Pregnant Co-worker was rushing about behind the bar trying to get everyone served, when this Snobby Old Bat came up to the bar.

SOB: WAITRESS!!

In the UK (or at least in my part of the UK) it is an insult to call a barmaid that.

SOB: Waitress! I spilled my drink all over my table! Get me a cloth and prepare me a new white wine spritzer and bring it to my table!
PCW: I will do once I have cleared the bar area. Are you going to pay for the drink?
SOB: What? Pay? I've already paid! I'm not paying again!
PCW: Well we can't give you a free white wine spritzer.
SOB: But I spilled it!
PCW: But that was your mistake.
SOB: I am not paying for a drink when I didn't get to enjoy my first one! Now bring me a white wine spritzer to my table immediately, waitress!

She walked off.

PCW: Like fuck I will.

Everyone ignored the SOB until she sent someone up to the bar for her. I can only assume it was her son.

Son: Can I have a white wine spritzer please?
PCW: Sure, that's £x.xx.
Son: Oh. Aren't you going to give her a free one? She spilled hers all over the table.
PCW: I am sorry, but once it is paid for, the drink is the customers responsibility.
Son: OK, fair enough. But I'll have to tell her you gave it to me for free, otherwise she will create a scene.

Yeah, just try it bitch, and see where it gets you.

I need a beer.

[germunster]

PCW: I will do once I have cleared the bar area. Are you going to pay for the drink?
SOB: What? Pay? I've already paid! I'm not paying again!
PCW: Well we can't give you a free white wine spritzer.
SOB: But I spilled it!
PCW: But that was your mistake.

I hate it when SCs try to blame their own clumsiness on a business. They dropped or spilled it, it's not the responsibility (either financially or morally) of the establishment. Tough, be more careful.

[elysia]

I once witnessed a guy at a soup cafe get a HUGE to-go order of like 4 bags of soup. Instead of asking for help from the busy staff or making two trips he attempted to carry them all at once. Sure enough on his way out the door one of the bags knocked against the wall, fell, and soup spilled everywhere in the doorway and the sidewalk outside. He then demanded new soup for free and got pissed when they refused, yelling that the doorway was too small, and the door was too heavy, and the lids on the soup containers weren't sufficent.

[LingualMonkey]

SOB: What? Pay? I've already paid! I'm not paying again!
PCW: Well we can't give you a free white wine spritzer.
SOB: But I spilled it!
PCW: But that was your mistake.

I'd love to see people try that with other products.

"Give me a new car--I drove mine into a tree and didn't get to enjoy it, so you have to give me a new one."

"I want to attend school for free. Last time I paid for classes and failed all of them, so this time I shouldn't have to pay--I already paid for them once."

"I lost my cellphone, so you will replace it for me free of charge."

Idiots.

[AirHostess]

customersruinmylife-you seem to get such awful customers.

I hate when people yell out 'stewardess' or 'waitress' or 'cashier.' What is wrong with a simple 'miss/sir' or 'excuse me.'

[katie kaboom]

I hate when people yell out 'stewardess' or 'waitress' or 'cashier.'

What's worse is when they stand at the register and just yell "hello, hello" over and over and OVER again. That is the quickest way to get me to completely ignore you.

[AirHostess]

What's worse is when they stand at the register and just yell "hello, hello" over and over and OVER again. That is the quickest way to get me to completely ignore you.

Gosh yes. Argh I hate people!

[customersruinmylife]

I have come to the conclusion that my name must be "OI!" or "Hey You!" because that's all I seem to be called these days!

[AirHostess]

Oh a passenger yelled Oi at me recently and I ignored them.

[crazylegs]

Oh a passenger yelled Oi at me recently and I ignored them.

I get to shout back at my 'customers' and tell them not to be so rude!

[wagegoth]

First guy was probably some bored, old guy who gets pleasure from jerking others around. Just remember his face for the next time he tries that.

[PepperElf]

that happened to me once... .i bought a little fish bowl and broke it...

i went back to the store and went to buy a new one. ... i'm thinking that's why they gave me a new one for free, cos i fully intended to pay for the new one

[cinema guy]

The cinema is quite happy to give customers new popcorn or a drink if they spill theirs.

[XCashier]

What's worse is when they stand at the register and just yell "hello, hello" over and over and OVER again. That is the quickest way to get me to completely ignore you.

Or when they whistle at you like they're calling their dog.

[katie kaboom]

Or when they whistle at you like they're calling their dog.

Yeah, that's just as bad. Why oh WHY do these people think we can be summoned like that?