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I’ll give you a wild guess why I named this guy Mr. Mouthy….. he was one of those guys so amped up and pissed off that you could HEAR him approaching the back gate to the impound lot from around the corner before he even got there. When he actually gets to the gate, instead of saying something pleasant or at least emotionally neutral like “I’m here for my car, let me in please” he points a finger right at the face of the guy at the gate and says “I *bleeping*hate you!” Wow, what a way to start a conversation. Mouthy then stomps his way to where his car is parked and finds that since he left his windows down when it was towed, we crash wrapped them. Crash wrap is a self-sticking plastic sheet that can be cut to size to fit over open windows on wrecks/impounds to keep rain and other stuff out. It doesn't hurt anything, it pulls of as easy as cellophane wrap if you tug on it. Despite the fact we did this to protect the car, Mouthy doesn't like it.
“What the hell is this *bleep* on my car?!” he yells, of course, it’s a rhetorical question because as soon as one of us tries to explain he cuts us off with a brisque “Whatever, shut the *bleep* up you bunch of losers!” He rips off the crash wrap, balls it up, and then tries to stick it to the roof of the car he’s parked next to. One of the other towers yells at him that we have a garbage can he can use, and failing that he can just let it on the ground and we’ll pick it up, but DO NOT go sticking that on someone else’s car.
“*Bleep* you!” says Mr. Mouthy, we tell him we’ll shut the gate on him if he doesn’t do as he’s told, he begrudgingly tosses the wrap on the ground. Angrily gets in his car, revs it up defiantly, and starts to back out. As he does, he sticks his melon out the window, determined to get in the last word….
“You guys *bleeping* suck *bleep*! I hope you enjoy working in this dirt hole you *bleepers*! You’re all a bunch of …” *CRUNCH!* Suddenly Mouthy’s car rocks violently, cutting him off mid sentence.
Oh my, apparently Mouthy was so busy yelling and cussing at us that he forgot to look where his car was backing up and he sideswiped that Pontiac Grand Am that was parked next to him, which now has a very large dent all the way down the driver’s side that wasn’t there before. Oh dear, now we’ll need to call the cops and fill out an accident report. Mouthy makes like he’s going to leave but we quickly pull the gate shut on him. Backup arrives within 5 minutes.
Mouthy tries to blame us for the accident saying we parked the cars too close. The Cop pulls his much larger Crown Vic into the spot without a problem to prove the point that Mouthy was clearly at fault, the Cop then asks Mouthy for his registration. Uh oh, it’s expired. Mouthy has a lot of excuses, but the Cop doesn’t want to hear em’ and just cites him. Mouthy starts getting, well, mouthy again and swearing up a storm. (Note to people, have you ever, EVER in your whole life known of a time when mouthing off at cops made things BETTER???) No surprise, the Cop in this case isn’t amused, and cites him a second time.
So, instead of just paying $105.00 to get his car back, Mouthy now has a court date for a pair of citations for driving without current registration and disorderly conduct, if the damage to the other car is in excess of $500, he is actually facing jail time.
Say “Hi” to turd biscuit out there if you see him, he might even be a distant relative.
“What the hell is this *bleep* on my car?!” he yells, of course, it’s a rhetorical question because as soon as one of us tries to explain he cuts us off with a brisque “Whatever, shut the *bleep* up you bunch of losers!” He rips off the crash wrap, balls it up, and then tries to stick it to the roof of the car he’s parked next to. One of the other towers yells at him that we have a garbage can he can use, and failing that he can just let it on the ground and we’ll pick it up, but DO NOT go sticking that on someone else’s car.
“*Bleep* you!” says Mr. Mouthy, we tell him we’ll shut the gate on him if he doesn’t do as he’s told, he begrudgingly tosses the wrap on the ground. Angrily gets in his car, revs it up defiantly, and starts to back out. As he does, he sticks his melon out the window, determined to get in the last word….
“You guys *bleeping* suck *bleep*! I hope you enjoy working in this dirt hole you *bleepers*! You’re all a bunch of …” *CRUNCH!* Suddenly Mouthy’s car rocks violently, cutting him off mid sentence.
Oh my, apparently Mouthy was so busy yelling and cussing at us that he forgot to look where his car was backing up and he sideswiped that Pontiac Grand Am that was parked next to him, which now has a very large dent all the way down the driver’s side that wasn’t there before. Oh dear, now we’ll need to call the cops and fill out an accident report. Mouthy makes like he’s going to leave but we quickly pull the gate shut on him. Backup arrives within 5 minutes.
Mouthy tries to blame us for the accident saying we parked the cars too close. The Cop pulls his much larger Crown Vic into the spot without a problem to prove the point that Mouthy was clearly at fault, the Cop then asks Mouthy for his registration. Uh oh, it’s expired. Mouthy has a lot of excuses, but the Cop doesn’t want to hear em’ and just cites him. Mouthy starts getting, well, mouthy again and swearing up a storm. (Note to people, have you ever, EVER in your whole life known of a time when mouthing off at cops made things BETTER???) No surprise, the Cop in this case isn’t amused, and cites him a second time.
So, instead of just paying $105.00 to get his car back, Mouthy now has a court date for a pair of citations for driving without current registration and disorderly conduct, if the damage to the other car is in excess of $500, he is actually facing jail time.
Say “Hi” to turd biscuit out there if you see him, he might even be a distant relative.
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