Enemy At The Gate

[Becks]

It's just a plant. I mean, sure it has soft, leafy curves and those long, thin stems...and those pert, perky little bud-er I mean, dude. Seriously. It's just a plant.

Someone has a secret fetish...

[Andara Bledin]

An early week update, as was prophesied. Warn me if I hit a duplicate though. Not sure what I missed and what I posted and I'm too tired to sort it out ;p

Oh, I'm sure we'll be more than happy to sort it for you, Gravekeeper. Heck, I suspect most of your fans wouldn't even care if you duplicated and we all got an extra dose of snark.

More and more crazies are discovering our building lobby and intercom... ><

You poor things.

Well, at least you have the intercom to keep them at bay.

Geez

SC: “Yeah, I’m calling about the 2 bedroom?”
Me: “Hmm, ok, well, this is the afterhours service for <rental company>-"
SC: “Oh, sorry, sorry. I’ll call back in the morning. I didn’t know this would go to a business.”

Oh, yeah. That's the best way to get your foot in the door, so to speak. Waking up your prospective landlord in the middle of the night is the perfect first impression!

Ok?

Me: “Good evening-"
SC: “I’M SO GOOOOOO~<click>”

Wait! Come back! You’re so what? Don’t just leave me hanging like that. You’re so good? You’re so gone? You’re so gopher? What is it?! Why must you be such a tease? Now I’ll spend the rest of the night, brow furrowed in contemplation as I try to unravel this devious mystery you have left lodged my heart.

Wait, was it a guy or a gal? That's important!

I mean, I would hope no woman would try to say she was, for example, gonadotrophic. Although gooey would work either way and be about equally disturbing.

Crisis Averted

SC: “I juz wanna know how much it is. Cus I’ll jus buy an I’z put it on mah self”
Me: “I’m afraid we don’t sell it directly, it must be installed by a professional.”
SC: “Oh…..daz bad.”

Bad? Honestly, in this case I’d say it’s rather good. In fact I probably just saved your life. I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve only been speaking with you for about 45 seconds and I can already determine that if left unsupervised with a hammer and nails you'd be dead, blind or sterile inside of an hour. You should be thanking me.

Ok, I must know. What was it he was going to put on, and what would he put it on?

Disturbingly enough: people Runs in the family.

FTFM

^-.-^