And so it begins....

[SengaKitty]

Not even three days into being in a transitional phase from training to phones, I have stories for the board. Get ready folks...

Can I have the name on the account?
OL: Old Lady
Me:

Me: Thank you for calling Cable Company tech support, my name is RHPG, how may I help you today?
OL: Yes I need xxx (I can't remember exactly what the call was for )
Me: Alright, I'd be more than happy to assist you with that. May I have the phone number on the account starting with the area code, please?
OL: I'm sorry, but can you speak a little slower?
Me: (much more slowly) I'd be more than happy to assist you with that. May I have the phone number on the account starting with the area code, please?
OL: Oh, well the area code is XXX. My phone number is XXY..er XYXY.. oh wait no, it's XXY-XYYX.
Me: Thank you, and may I have the name on the account?
OL: My name is Old Lady.
Me: Okay Ms. Lady, may I have the name on the account please?
OL: The address on the account is 123 Old Lady Drive, Somewheresville, USA 12345....
Me: (almost ) Thank you, ma'am, but may I please have the FIRST and LAST NAME on the account?
OL: The address is..... (wash rinse repeat three more times)
Me: Okay, thank you again ma'am, I've got the address, may I please have the first and last NAME on the account?
OL: OH! It's my account, under Old Lady.
Me: Thank you...

Why did it take me the first seven minutes of the first call to verify this woman's name, address, and phone number?

-----------------------------------------


I won't pay for that!

MAR: Mr. Arkansas
Me: Well?

Me: -enter standard greeting here-

MAR: Yes, I'm unable to get any channels above 77, I keep getting a message "Please wait this channel will be available shortly."

Me: Okay, I'm sorry to hear about that, I know how inconvenient that can be, and I'd be more than happy to help you. First, may I verify the phone number on your account?
(We go through the verification process without issues... thank god.)

Me: Okay sir, it looks like you're not in an outage area, and your account is up to date, so what I'm going to do is send a signal to your box.

MAR: Fine. Do that.
(Digging the snobby tone sir.)

Me: Alright, I've sent the signal, now I'm going to need you to unplug your box from the power for two minutes to reset it. (This is standard procedure, of course).

MAR: Do I have to? I'd have to move furniture to get back there, and I really don't want to. (Would you like some cheese with that whine?)

Me: I'm sorry sir, I know it's a hassle, but we do need you to do this to refresh the box.

MAR: FINE, give me a second.
(MAR sets phone down, several seconds later yells across the room) There! It's unplugged.

Me: Thank you sir, now please wait two minutes... (Two minutes later) Could you please plug the box back in?

MAR: I did and the time's set to 12 noon.. That's not right.

Me: Yes sir, I understand that. We've just reset the box, it's going to take a moment to get Cable Company's signal to reset the time. Could you check the channels please?

MAR: But the time's not right!

Me: Yes sir, that could take several minutes, or even up to an hour, to refresh. The channels, on the other hand, should be fixed now, could you check them please?

MAR: *sound like angry goose* FINE. But my time's still not right *grumble grumble* The channels still have the same message.

Me: Okay, sir, I apologize Mr. AK, but we're going to need to send a tech to your residence to find out the problem. I see that you don't have our wire maintenance (from here on out referred to as WM) insurance program. It's only $4.99 a month, has no deductible, and if a technician deems that the issue is with one of the wires in your home, you will not be charged the standard $35-$70 for the tech visit.

MAR: I DON'T WANT YOUR WM! THEY'VE ALREADY EXPLAINED IT TO ME AND I DON'T WANT IT, JUST GET YOUR TECH OUT HERE AND FIX MY CABLE! I WILL NOT PAY ONE MORE CENT TO YOUR COMPANY THAN I ALREADY DO! I ALREADY PAY MORE THAN YOU DESERVE!

Me: Okay, sir, I understand you're frustrated and we will get the tech out as soon as possible. However, I must mention that if the technician deems that the issue is with wires in your home, he will be required to charge you between $35 and $70. If you sign up for the wire maintenance today, you will not be charged that fee.

MAR: NO! YOU WILL SEND HIM OUT TODAY, AND YOU WILL GUARANTEE ME I WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THE TRUCK BECAUSE LAST TIME THEY SENT ME A TRUCK I RECEIVED A BILL AND I KNOW THIS ISN'T A PROBLEM IN MY HOUSE IT'S YOUR SIGNAL AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR MISTAKES!

Me: Sir, again, I understand you are upset, and I am doing my best to assist you. I'll be happy to send a technician out there, but I cannot guarantee you won't be charged, as that is up to the technician's discretion.

MAR: I WILL NOT PAY FOR A TRUCK TO BE SENT OUT HERE EVEN IF IT MEANS MY SERVICE IS CUT OFF! YOU SEND HIM OUT HERE OR DON'T, BUT I DO NOT WANT YOUR WM, AND I WILL NOT PAY FOR A TECH BECAUSE I KNOW THE PROBLEM AND IT'S NOT MY HOUSE, IT'S YOUR SIGNAL AND THE HOW DO I KNOW THAT THE TECH ISN'T A LIAR JUST LIKE YOU?!
(Note: Yes, all this was screamed at me, in a very thick arabic accent. I only add that because you can probably now picture me trying to hold my temper AND my laughter at the same time.)

Me: Okay, sir, again I am doing my best to assist you, however I cannot guarantee you won't be charged if I send a truck out there, unless you have wire maintenance.

MAR: NO! DON'T YOU AND CABLE COMPANY REALIZE THAT IF YOU SEND A TRUCK I WILL NOT PAY FOR IT EVEN IF YOU CUT OFF MY SERVICE?! AND IF YOU CUT OFF MY SERVICE YOU WILL LOSE 90% OF YOUR BUSINESS IN *PODUNK TOWN, AK!?!
(wash rinse repeat until finally)

MAR: YOU KNOW WHAT, SEND A TRUCK OR DON'T SEND A TRUCK, I DON'T CARE, BUT I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT! -click-

Ohhhhhhhhkay.... You were charged the last time they sent a truck... Wouldn't you WANT to pay the $4.99/month to prevent another charge if we have to come out and repair wires in your home that weren't even installed by us? Oh... and by the way, he only had the most basic of digital cable.. No internet, no extra packages, and no phone through us.

------------------------------
And finally, the true death of my brain cells today, I bring you:

But I didn't know where to pay!

SG: Stupid Girl
Me:
CC: Cool Coach

Me: Standard opening
SG: Yes, you guys disconnected my service, and I just wanted to know what it would cost to turn it back on?
Me: Okay, I'd be happy to help you with that. -verification completed now with security code that is read off of her bill-
Me: Okay, I'm showing you've been hard disconnected, meaning they've come out and fully disconnected your service. We're going to need you to pay $104.65 before we can send someone out to reconnect you. (reconnect fee would be added to next bill) Did you want to pay that now?
SG: Oh no, I can't do it now. I'll do it this weekend.
Me: Okay, ma'am, I understand, the economy's bad right now. I'll just get you the address of your local payment center. Could you hold please?
SG: Yes, sure.
-lalala-
Me: Okay SG, thank you for holding. Unfortunately there's no payment center near you, but you can call this weekend and pay over the phone, as we are available 24/7.
SG: Um, how would I do that?
Me: You'd just call the same number you called to get me, ma'am.
SG: Yes, but how would I make the payment?
Me: Do you have a credit card?
SG: No.....
Me: A debit card?
SG: No....
Me: Perhaps you have a checking account?
SG: No...
Me: Um.. Okay.. SG, how were you wanting to pay this? Perhaps cash or money order?
SG: I, um.. don't know. See, I didn't know where to go to pay the bill, that's why I didn't pay it...
Me: -mutes caller to tell CC what's going on-
CC: Transfer her to billing and log out for lunch...
Me: -back to SG- Okay, ma'am we're going to get you transferred to billing, where they'll get you sorted out. Have a good day and thank you for calling Cable Company..

Points to anyone who can figure out where she could have gone to pay her bill....



Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd now it's time for a cigarette... my head hurts

[SG15Z]

Everytime I saw 'SG' I was like "What? Oh yeah duh, the stupid girl!" You threw me off though.

Man the stupid in that one....ouchies!

[RootedPhoenix]

>_<;;;;; All of them would drive me batty. *gives you herb tea*

[jerkface11]

So why is the Arab guy Mr. Arkansas?

[SengaKitty]

Because he was in some podunk town in Arkansas, and made it a point to say that if he cancelled, my company would be losing 90% of it's business in Podunktown, AR....

And yes, the stupid was strong with these three, but especially the last one..

[Barracuda]

I feel your pain with people not LISTENING to you and just giving you information. I go through the same thing-I have to ask people when I pick up "Can I start with your first and last name?" I get "Yeah, it's under (such and such)" or "The name on the account is...." so I get to repeat myself more firmly and ask "What is YOUR first and last name?" or "Who am I speaking with, please?" This happens on 9 calls out of 10. Even better are the folks who ignore my opening spiel altogether and just say "Yeah, I can't get into my account?" or something similar ("I'm sorry to hear that, can I PLEASE GET YOUR FIRST AND LAST NAME TO START?") And by the way, if they said Podunk town AK they need to check their geography....AK is Alaska. The abbreviation for Arkansas is AR.

[Anriana]

Hey, we work at the same place.

Weird.

Who is your nesting coach?

Oh, and if they tell you they are [whatever the account holder's name is] you don't have to ask them for the name on the account.

[SengaKitty]

And by the way, if they said Podunk town AK they need to check their geography....AK is Alaska. The abbreviation for Arkansas is AR.

Er.... that was my fault... sorry running on very little sleep.. I'll go back and fix it >.<

[Andara Bledin]

Mr Arkansas was a total douche, but I've got an experience that would make me think things like him.

Charter Cable in my area sucks. We had it (and the Internet service) for 3 months before switching back to DSL.

However, during the time we had it, we had picture issues. We'd get artifacts, garbled sound, and one point, the last 30 minutes of a movie was nothing but a black screen. We complained to support about the issues, and every single thing they said was that it was our wiring. Nevermind that the people across the street had the same exact problems at the same exact time. Oh, no, it was our wiring.

That must have been some seriously messed up wiring to screw up our neighbor's reception, too. Meh.

^-.-^

[simplyanother]

I hate calling Charter. Especially when I'm calling for an internet outage and the automated message thingy tells me I can do stuff at charter.com/charter.net. Also the automated lady pisses me off more than she probably should. I think Charter cable sucks in every area.


Christ, how the hell did the last twit even set up cable in the first place?
How does she keep the lights on in her home? Can she not figure that out either, I wonder.

Must be a sad place, inside her head.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

I hate calling Charter. Especially when I'm calling for an internet outage and the automated message thingy tells me I can do stuff at charter.com/charter.net. Also the automated lady pisses me off more than she probably should. I think Charter cable sucks in every area.


Christ, how the hell did the last twit even set up cable in the first place?
How does she keep the lights on in her home? Can she not figure that out either, I wonder.

Must be a sad place, inside her head.

Empty places usually are.

[Imogene]

AND IF YOU CUT OFF MY SERVICE YOU WILL LOSE 90% OF YOUR BUSINESS IN *PODUNK TOWN, AK!?!

My head!
Unless guy pays for nine different connections in the town... and the other ONE person only has one...
*smacks MAR* Dude, meet MATH! Remember her? From fifth grade? Remember fifth grade?

[wagegoth]

I hate calling Charter. Especially when I'm calling for an internet outage and the automated message thingy tells me I can do stuff at charter.com/charter.net. Also the automated lady pisses me off more than she probably should. I think Charter cable sucks in every area.


Christ, how the hell did the last twit even set up cable in the first place?
How does she keep the lights on in her home? Can she not figure that out either, I wonder.

Must be a sad place, inside her head.

A lot of people, especially in rural areas (and some cities) still do everything with cash, especially if they work for family or a small business that pays them under the table.

Personally, I love paying my bills by internet and phone. The only regular bill I have that has to be paid by mailing a check is my rent.

[Andara Bledin]

I hate calling Charter. Especially when I'm calling for an internet outage and the automated message thingy tells me I can do stuff at charter.com/charter.net.

Earthlink does the same exact thing.

I actually commented to the tech that I spoke to during the last outage and complained that there wasn't a message anywhere that there was an outage in my area. I had to wait through 5 minutes of automated messages, and then hold for another 10 minutes just to get that information.

^-.-^

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Earthlink does the same exact thing.

I actually commented to the tech that I spoke to during the last outage and complained that there wasn't a message anywhere that there was an outage in my area. I had to wait through 5 minutes of automated messages, and then hold for another 10 minutes just to get that information.

^-.-^

My DSL went down several months ago while I was online with the desktop and, after running that useless POS software they call their Help Center, I got on the phone and called Blue Ball tech support (aka the phone company formerly known as HellSouth.)

After supplying them with the information about my account and I explained what was going on, I was put on hold for several minutes, only for them to tell me that they weren't sure what the cause was, even after I'd initially inquired about a possible outage in my area.

Another few minutes went by and then I was transferred to Tier 2 to find out there WAS an outage - they just hadn't gotten the information down the ladder yet.

I got off the phone, got busy doing other stuff and checked back about 1/2 hour later and the outage was over with and the computer was back online.

What was so funny . . . the Help Center software is supposed to notify you about an outage, yet how can it when it can't even connect?