Can't take the hint.

[Basher]

Here's common type of SC for us: Mr. Hint

In our industry, I guess we're a Chevy, or maybe a Toyota, but not a Mercedes. If they want the Mercedes, it's 50% more. Fine, we don't do that.

Also, in my industry, there's a LOT of customer posting on internet message board, and half of my job is taking care of customers so that they don't savage us on the web.

Here's a typical scenario:

Mr. Hint: "I have just received your product and I'm very disappointed. I found... (Here insert at least a page of niggling compliants that are just basically the differences between our product and the super-premium stuff at the top of the market - missing options that we don't offer, basically) ...and I'm very disappointed."

OK, so this guy doesn't get it. He hasn't shopped, he doesn't understand how our industry works, and he doesn't know what he needs to be buying. It's as if a guy wrote to Toyota and was disappointed his Corolla didn't have heated power massaging memory seats.

I go back and forth with these guys several times, but ultimately, there's no satisfying them. So, in the end, we'll refund them.

Me: "Mr. Hint, we're very sorry that we were unable to satisfy you in this case. As we have discussed, we do not offer those particular features on our products, however those features are available on much more expensive products from some of our competitors. I have been authorized to offer you a full and complete refund on the product, and I'll be happy to arrange a UPS pickup on the item at your home. This will allow you to reconsider which features you need when you make your next purchase."

Mr. Hint: "So I'm getting my money back?"

Me: "Yessir."

Mr. Hint: "So when can I re-order?"


Oy, vey.

[bainsidhe]

We'll get complaints like that sometimes. And then we also get the ones that want something created/changed that doesn't exist. Not to say we can't do it, but we're not about to spend time/engineering/setup/tooling on your twenty dollar item. Just not going to happen. And when you upset our sales manager (who is always very level-headed and professional) to the point that she complains about a customer (you really have to push her buttons for that to happen), then you've crossed the line. Guess what, you can go over my head and *sometimes* even my sup's head. The sales manager is top of the totem pole. When she politely explains that we can't offer what you're asking and even offers to send you a freebie which we just don't do, demanding to speak with the owner is just being unreasonable. He's the owner, he doesn't want to deal with you, that's why he has employees. If you were doing fourty grand in sales, he *might* talk to you. And you're complaining about twenty bucks! The only reason you've been offered so much is because a-holes like you enjoy posting horrible feedback (and lies) on message boards.
/rant off

[Dips]

Me: "Mr. Hint, we're very sorry that we were unable to satisfy you in this case. As we have discussed, we do not offer those particular features on our products, however those features are available on much more expensive products from some of our competitors. I have been authorized to offer you a full and complete refund on the product, and I'll be happy to arrange a UPS pickup on the item at your home. This will allow you to reconsider which features you need when you make your next purchase."

That response is just wonderful. You're basically telling him he's a cheap dumbass with the attention span of a flea, but in a way that won't get you into trouble.

Beautiful.

[bloodrose]

compliants

Okay, I am highly amused by your typo because I always type complaint when I should be typing compliant. My boss keeps asking me if it is a Freudian slip.