Tarot Customers Two: Back with Vengence

[NateTheChops]

The warmer months are here. I've renewed my performer's liscence and am now back on Church Street with a vengeance.

Let me first start off by explaining that I do not work at a shop that specializes in tarot readings. What I do is, according to the standards of Church Street Marketplace, a performance. Because there is no actual product to sell. Because of this, I am not allowed to charge for the readings. I can only ask for voluntary donations.

These are the kinds of customers I attract because of this rule.

Handful of Pennies girl

HOPG: Can I get reading?
Me: Sure. (I read her cards, honestly. She doesn't seem to happy because as always I don't tell my clients what they want to hear.)
HOPG: *dissapointed* how much.
Me: *Trying to keep a smile on my face, more for the benefit of on lookers* It's just a donation.
HOPG: What's the donation for?
Me: It's for me. I can only accept donations when I'm out here.
HOPG: *Drops three pennies into the donations bucket and walks away*

Bottle of Whiskey

This guy was with his friends and he had this wild overly caffinated attitude. After I read him...

BOW: Wow, that was really dead on. Oh man, all I have are credit cards. Here.
*He pulls out a bottle of whiskey and drops it in the bucket. I yank it out and hand it back to him.*
ME: I can't take this.
BOW: I'm sorry, I don't have any money on me.
ME: *Trying to remain professional* That's fine, it's not a big deal.

I'm in the middle of Church Street and there are families all around. Why don't you just throw some joints in there while you're at it? All in all, not nessecarilly sucky, and there are moments when I wish I had just taken it. At least he was trying to compensate me but he clearly wasn't thinking about how it would make me look to other potential customers, even if I put it in my pocket.

Old Drunk Lady

Memorial Day, right? Really busy weekend with plenty of people on Church Street so I should be making some cash, right?

Nope. Five free readings, only two paying customers. And this charming old lady with the rubenesque build, filthy hair and a large pink shirt which tightly hugs her robust frame and barely able to stand.

ODL: Do me for free.
ME: .....No.
ODL: Come on, do me so I can tell everyone how good you are?
ME: Have a nice day ma'am.

Yes, I really need the word of mouth advertising of a person whom people are cutting a wide berth because of the fragrant and overwhelming scent of vodka, cigaratte smoke and swamp ass. Oh yeah, Sci-Fi Channel here I come.

[MoxisPilot]

...Is this New Orleans? If it's New Orleans, I'm scared ODL might have been my mom. >.>

If it was, SORRY!

If not...I'm still sorry.

[NateTheChops]

I wish. New Orleans would be a step up from this place. Post-Katrina no less.

No, this is good old Burlington, Vermont. It's why I'm moving to Salem. At least there people expect to pay for a reading.

[ladyklack]

I used to live in Salem, and am still friends with several local shop owners. If you like, you can pm me and I could recommend some people who can help you get started.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah. Right there with you, my friend.

There's a very good reason I don't do a lot of dukkering anymore. Geeze, people act like they're doing YOU a favor for letting you pull out your cards (or your tea leaves, or whatever). Just got sick of the hassle.

The ones I hate the worst are aquaintences who think that since you're a "friend" you'd love nothing more than to do a session for them for free. Who doesn't tip people they consider "friends"? Douches. Wanna know your future, douche? You'll die lonely. How's that?

Although I have been paid in booze, too. But it was a completely different type of venue. I wouldn't appreciate that in a family venue, either. Dukkering in a dark swamp, out of the back of a gypsy van, with armed heavies wandering around giving the stink eye to everyone, you can take a bottle of hootch for payment. I've been paid in all sorts of stuff.

[wagegoth]

The three cent chick was completely out of line. You gave her an honest reading instead of feeding her lies. With that attitude, it sounds like she's going to get what she deserves.

[EricKei]

I wish. New Orleans would be a step up from this place. Post-Katrina no less.

Well, yer welcome to come down here anytime ya like ^_^ I think they do let you charge down here, tho I'm sure you need a local permit anyway. Jackson Square would be the place ye wanna be. Just watch out for all of the brain-dead mules wandering about...and the quadrupeds pulling carriages full of tourists, too

[NateTheChops]

Well, if it turns out the licence becomes too much of a pain to get I'll give New Orleans another look. Over 80% of the books I've read are set there so it couldn't hurt.

I had another free customer today.

Of course, ethics prevent me from telling you the contents of the reading. But I had to listen to his friend off to the side running his mouth. "Oh this is bullshit." "You need to get a job, dude" "What does Tarot mean?"

You know, like a five year-old, only not cute.

And at the end or the reading the guy asks me, "I have a bunch of questions, if you do this again will it answer them."

I also caught the age old question.

"Aren't you still working at Rite Aid?"

Why does everyone think that I'm either on my way to Rite Aid or that because they know I work there that they are entitled to know what I do outside of it? AARGH.

Salem or Louisianna. I'll take either one.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Well, if it turns out the licence becomes too much of a pain to get I'll give New Orleans another look. Over 80% of the books I've read are set there so it couldn't hurt.

I had another free customer today.

Of course, ethics prevent me from telling you the contents of the reading. But I had to listen to his friend off to the side running his mouth. "Oh this is bullshit." "You need to get a job, dude" "What does Tarot mean?"

You know, like a five year-old, only not cute.

And at the end or the reading the guy asks me, "I have a bunch of questions, if you do this again will it answer them."

I also caught the age old question.

"Aren't you still working at Rite Aid?"

Why does everyone think that I'm either on my way to Rite Aid or that because they know I work there that they are entitled to know what I do outside of it? AARGH.

Salem or Louisianna. I'll take either one.

If you get to Louisiana let me know, I'll swing on by and give you a nice "donation"

[El Pollo Guerrera]

ODL: Do me for free.

She may not have been looking for a reading...

[EricKei]

http://www.buskersadvocates.org/saalegalneworleans.html

I found this link. The page doeasn't look like much I suppose, but it seems to have some info on there about local ordinances if you scroll down a bit. Yer best bet would probably be to try calling the City Council and see if you can get thru to a human (I wish you luck). One bit of advice tho -- try NOT to live within Orleans Parish (the City proper) if you can help it. Higher prices, higher taxes, etc.

And ditto what CC2 said ^_^ Us locals tend to be a friendly bunch.

[XCashier]

Just watch out for all of the brain-dead mules wandering about...and the quadrupeds pulling carriages full of tourists, too

[wraiths_crono]

Ya know, out here in AZ we have to have a tax stamp similar to a street performer stamp to charge for readings, but, my favorite thing is when someone sees my cards, and screams in a devil worshiper and runs away... tho its nice to read about others that do readings too!