Mhmm...Corn Flakes.

[Amina516]

The Fangirl

Stalker update #2: She is laying on her sofa with the front door open and the police took her away. Now they want to go to the hospital but she doesn’t want to go to the hospital because the hospital wants to kill her. Because that’s what hospitals do. They all plot to kill her. The whole helping people, treating injuries, performing operations etc is all just a front for a grand plot to kill her. The police are trying to make her go but she doesn’t want to go. She wants to stay on the sofa. Because the sofa stops the hospital from killing her and makes the voices stop or something.

Damnit.. How'd she find out?!?! Thats what I did allllll day...was plot to kill her after I burnt her sofa to ashes.

[Ghel]

The problem, was this guy was at least 45 years old. At least. And I’m being generous.

Age doesn't enter into it! Anybody with moobs shouldn't be wearing tight clothing!

SC: “It’s KIMBERLEY on the card.”

Actually, Kimberly was originally a man's name. Even though, like so many other names, it has now made the switch to being considered a woman's name, you still see the ocassional male Kimberly. There's one among my customers. I didn't realize he was a man until I met him in person. Luckily, I didn't say anything embarrassing. I think.

[Toujin]

Actually, Kimberly was originally a man's name. Even though, like so many other names, it has now made the switch to being considered a woman's name, you still see the ocassional male Kimberly. There's one among my customers. I didn't realize he was a man until I met him in person. Luckily, I didn't say anything embarrassing. I think.

Shirley, Evelyn, Ashley, and Beverley were also once boy's names. When I used to volunteer for the local humane society (taking the puppies and kittens to visit people), the convalescent center I often went to had an older gentleman named Beverley, who was the resident artist. And his drawings were actually pretty good.

[cinema guy]

Who knows what evil lurks in the Bladders of men? The Night Waterer knows!

Edited for my amusement.

[Slytovhand]

Do you know how angry some people are when they’ve been on hold for over half an hour? >.<

Yes, yes I do..... periodically... (well, every semester, when all those students who had their enrolment forms for over a month, suddenly all decide to enrol into their class at the same time... on the first day of school!)


GK, I don't suppose your caller ID gives you the number for either FanGirl or HotTips... cos then, when they ring in, you could transfer to each other... of course, that might mean they end up getting together and spawning... so that could be considered some sort of 'con' rather than 'pro'.

CinemaGuy - amused!


ETA: it's cos of the hospitals trying to kill her - that's why she will die before the rest of the family... I thought that was obvious!

[Gravekeeper]

GK, I don't suppose your caller ID gives you the number for either FanGirl or HotTips

Sadly no, it bounces off another number because its being forwarded from an automated menu. That said, we do know who, what and where FanGirl is after the police got involved the first time.

[Megg]

The Sadness Flap(tm).

Pardon me while I catch my breath. I have to share this with our 17 year old, she has this emo boy fascination going on. She pointed out the guy she likes to me, and I had to ask her, "Have you ever seen his face?!" She hung her head and said no. Too funny!

If you ever do write a book, make sure you post the Amazon link.

[Gravekeeper]

Pardon me while I catch my breath. I have to share this with our 17 year old, she has this emo boy fascination going on.

It seems to be the correct term. My coworker pointed at my shift report and went "THAT'S IT! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS! ....I'm stealing that." >.>

[Skeksin]

No, seriously.

Me: “Good evening, <company>”
SC: “Mo-, oh, sorry I think I have the wrong number again”

Yes, yes you do. As I have not developed ovaries in the last 30 seconds. Though I suppose I could give it a try if you really want me too.

I think I broke something....Simmons....I need your ovaries!

[SG15Z]

Me: “Good evening, <company>”
SC: “M-, Oh, sorry again.”

He got the wrong number trying to call his mom three times! Talk about fail!

Odd Choice of Words

SC: “I’m reporting an illness.”
Me: “Pardon?”
SC: “I’m calling to report an illness.”
Me: “…..alright….are you......calling in sick?”
SC: “Yes.”

Is it a bad thing I want to say that the next time I call in sick.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But GK, that sounds like fairly standard Emo Gear™ I don’t see what the problem is?”. Well, that’s a good question my little space cadets.

The problem, was this guy was at least 45 years old. At least. And I’m being generous.

Bad mental image!!!

!

Me: “Ok, and your name please?”
SC: “Hermander.”

Hermander! I choose you!

Hermander use Spamthrower!

SC: “You know Charles Manson was reading books about Hitler and he looked at Prince Charles and thought I’m a Charles and he’s a Charles and I’m a Manson and he’s a Manson so it’s Prince Charles Manson and Prince Charles and Charles Manson are the same, right?”

.....He lost me at "You"

Just an FYI: Impatiently mashing the B button to skip needless dialogue only works in select video games.

I wish it worked in more video games. And real life too.....

The Fangirl

Stalker update #2:

In her defense, Hospitals do have a pretty high death rate.

<cough>

-snip-

Umm….hmmm. Damn, this is a bit awkward. Geez, how do I put this. Ok, here goes: I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but you lost the war.

We did!? But but.....so you mean Obama is our president too! It can't be true!

[Andara Bledin]

So gather round kiddies, tis story time. Horrible....horrible story time.

You tease. I saw nothing of Doctor Horrible in this entire post!

Me: “Good evening, <company>”
SC: “M-, Oh, sorry again.”

What was the definition of madness, again?

Finally, he had that little sadness flap. You know, that one gelled up flap up of hair that covers half their face. The Sadness Flap(tm).

Bwahahaha!

Sadness Flap. Brilliant!

She didn’t specify what from. Only that her lifespan was shorter than all those around her.

One can only hope it's closer to mayfly than Methuselah, eh?

Me: “Are you calling from the United States of America?”
SC: “Oh, no. I’m calling from Mississippi.”

Umm….hmmm. Damn, this is a bit awkward. Geez, how do I put this. Ok, here goes: I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but you lost the war.

That's exactly where I would have taken that one.

Your Parents Are Cruel

Me: “Ok, and your name please?”
SC: “Kim SuchAndSuch”
Me: “Alright, and is the name different on the card?”
SC: “It’s KIMBERLEY on the card.”

Whoa, easy there lad. You were beaten up a lot as a kid, weren’t you?

It's not uncommon as a boy's name. It's mostly for girls these days, though.

And there's still a good chance his classmates weren't kind.

^-.-^

[CityBoy1986]

Me: “Are you calling from the United States of America?”
SC: “Oh, no. I’m calling from Mississippi.”

Just when I thought all of those ideas were nothing but stereotypes. *Watches a local politician's advert airing after the polls have closed* Never mind.

[bean]

Actually, Kimberly was originally a man's name. Even though, like so many other names, it has now made the switch to being considered a woman's name, you still see the ocassional male Kimberly. There's one among my customers. I didn't realize he was a man until I met him in person. Luckily, I didn't say anything embarrassing. I think.

I have a gent who regularly shops in my store.... his name is Kimberly.

I only know this because he always writes checks (his checks say Kim "Smith") and I have to see an ID for every check.. even if they've written a check before. His ID says Kimberly.

I'd put him in his early 50s.

Though I also look at our CC slips to see what people's names are, and we have a regular named... are you ready? Fang Wang. I about died laughing the first time I saw that on the slip. My supe told me he didn't want any fangs near his wang.

[SG15Z]

Though I also look at our CC slips to see what people's names are, and we have a regular named... are you ready? Fang Wang. I about died laughing the first time I saw that on the slip. My supe told me he didn't want any fangs near his wang.

That's hilarious. The poor guy though.... ah who am I kidding!

[Imogene]

My supe told me he didn't want any fangs near his wang.

Not even if the fang is sprouting from his wang? Mmm... 'rooster' teeth.