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There are no words. I have never, EVER seen anything like this. It was sad, it was sick and it was bizarre.
I've mentioned in previous posts that the pub is located just next to a church, so that means we get quite a lot of people in that have just attended a service, wedding or funeral. All of these groups are among the most entitled people I have ever known, especially the funerals.
It was quiet, and gradually, a funeral party started coming into the pub one by one. It was a depressing sight. It was a bright and sunny day, and I was in a good mood for once! And then a massive group of depressed people dressed in black came in.
And along came the widow...
The widow was in her late forties/early fifties, and she was practically carried into the pub by her twenty-something son and a friend. They had linked arms with her and were basically dragging her along she was that distraught. I am not exaggerating when I say she was howling like this:
Widow: AAAAAAAHHHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAHHHWOOOOOOOOOOO!
She was sobbing her poor heart out. The son and friend sat her down, and decided the smart thing to do would be to buy her a bottle of wine.
So, for about an hour, the funeral were standing around drinking, and all we heard for an hour straight was "AAAAAHHHHHWWOOOOOO!!" from the corner where the widow was sat! It was getting very difficult to be sympathetic. Other customers were leaving because of her, and all I could think was "For fuck's sake, someone take her home!!"
And then an unwelcome guest showed up. We'll call her Mistress.
Mistress, in a similar drunken/distraught state, barged up to Widow.
Mistress: YOU MAY HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO HIM, BUT I WAS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!
Widow: AAAAAHHHHWWWOOOOOOOO!! FUCK OFF! YOU WEREN'T INVITED TO THE FUNERAL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? AAAAHHHHHWWWOOOOOOOOO!!
Mistress: I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE AT THAT FUNERAL! I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME!
Widow: BUT HE DIDN'T PICK YOU DID HE?? AHHHHWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!! HE MARRIED ME!!
Mistress: BUT HE STILL LOVED ME!!
Widow: I WISH HE HAD PICKED YOU! THAT BASTARD HAS RAN UP A £7000 CREDIT CARD BILL IN MY NAME! WHO'S GOING TO PAY FOR THAT NOW??? AHHHHWOOOOOOOO!
Mistress: HE ONLY RAN UP SUCH A BILL TO BUY YOU ALL THE SHIT YOU DEMANDED! I WISH YOU HAD DIED INSTEAD!
Widow: YOU BITCH! AHHHHHWOOOOOOOOOOO!
Widow punched Mistress in the face. Widow's poor son tried to get in the middle but was shoved out of the way by Mistress. Next thing we knew, there was a full on cat fight happening! They had each other by the hair and were spinning around in circles!
What I found the most shocking was that not one member of the funeral party attempted to stop it. Finally, Widow's friend and son jumped in and pulled Mistress of her.
Widow's friend dragged Mistress outside, whilst the son tried to call Widow down. Her "AAAHHHHHWOOOOOOOO!"'s had grown about ten times louder. Widow's son met eyes with me, and he simply nodded his head, picked Widow up and led her out the back door.
Mistress and Widow's friend were stood outside arguing for about 20 minutes before Mistress finally left. The rest of the funeral party didn't stay long. They got the hint and went to a pub down the road.
It was such an awful sight. The cat fight only lasted about ten seconds, so there wasn't enough time to get near a phone to call the police. I just cannot believe such behaviour could happen at a funeral. I bet the guy who died is very proud of them.
I've mentioned in previous posts that the pub is located just next to a church, so that means we get quite a lot of people in that have just attended a service, wedding or funeral. All of these groups are among the most entitled people I have ever known, especially the funerals.
It was quiet, and gradually, a funeral party started coming into the pub one by one. It was a depressing sight. It was a bright and sunny day, and I was in a good mood for once! And then a massive group of depressed people dressed in black came in.
And along came the widow...
The widow was in her late forties/early fifties, and she was practically carried into the pub by her twenty-something son and a friend. They had linked arms with her and were basically dragging her along she was that distraught. I am not exaggerating when I say she was howling like this:
Widow: AAAAAAAHHHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAHHHWOOOOOOOOOOO!
She was sobbing her poor heart out. The son and friend sat her down, and decided the smart thing to do would be to buy her a bottle of wine.
So, for about an hour, the funeral were standing around drinking, and all we heard for an hour straight was "AAAAAHHHHHWWOOOOOO!!" from the corner where the widow was sat! It was getting very difficult to be sympathetic. Other customers were leaving because of her, and all I could think was "For fuck's sake, someone take her home!!"
And then an unwelcome guest showed up. We'll call her Mistress.
Mistress, in a similar drunken/distraught state, barged up to Widow.
Mistress: YOU MAY HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO HIM, BUT I WAS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!
Widow: AAAAAHHHHWWWOOOOOOOO!! FUCK OFF! YOU WEREN'T INVITED TO THE FUNERAL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? AAAAHHHHHWWWOOOOOOOOO!!
Mistress: I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE AT THAT FUNERAL! I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME!
Widow: BUT HE DIDN'T PICK YOU DID HE?? AHHHHWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!! HE MARRIED ME!!
Mistress: BUT HE STILL LOVED ME!!
Widow: I WISH HE HAD PICKED YOU! THAT BASTARD HAS RAN UP A £7000 CREDIT CARD BILL IN MY NAME! WHO'S GOING TO PAY FOR THAT NOW??? AHHHHWOOOOOOOO!
Mistress: HE ONLY RAN UP SUCH A BILL TO BUY YOU ALL THE SHIT YOU DEMANDED! I WISH YOU HAD DIED INSTEAD!
Widow: YOU BITCH! AHHHHHWOOOOOOOOOOO!
Widow punched Mistress in the face. Widow's poor son tried to get in the middle but was shoved out of the way by Mistress. Next thing we knew, there was a full on cat fight happening! They had each other by the hair and were spinning around in circles!
What I found the most shocking was that not one member of the funeral party attempted to stop it. Finally, Widow's friend and son jumped in and pulled Mistress of her.
Widow's friend dragged Mistress outside, whilst the son tried to call Widow down. Her "AAAHHHHHWOOOOOOOO!"'s had grown about ten times louder. Widow's son met eyes with me, and he simply nodded his head, picked Widow up and led her out the back door.
Mistress and Widow's friend were stood outside arguing for about 20 minutes before Mistress finally left. The rest of the funeral party didn't stay long. They got the hint and went to a pub down the road.
It was such an awful sight. The cat fight only lasted about ten seconds, so there wasn't enough time to get near a phone to call the police. I just cannot believe such behaviour could happen at a funeral. I bet the guy who died is very proud of them.
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