No, it's not like the Mary Poppin's bag

[Moggie]

I've known several people who think that clothing just "sort of happens" but this is the first time I've heard of someone expecting the fabric and notions to fit in the pattern envelope. Did she expect the sewing machine to be inside it too?
And hey, if you're cutting the patterns out now would you come on over to my place? I have backlog of stuff that needs cutout.

[bainsidhe]

No, I'm guessing she assumed sewing her own dress was both cheap and simple. Which it can be if you have the skill, experience, and proper equipment. I know enough about sewing that I know I'm better off buying something already made. Perhaps she thought the pattern had a remote control. At the press of a button, it makes itself. To size and taste no less.

[LillFilly]

Eeegg...Uaaaggg....Ooommmphh...

That was my brain imploding. Slowly.

What the heck was that lady thinking?! Or not, rather.

That's even worse than the people making quilts, and they come-up to you with 12 different bolts and want 1/4 of a yard FROM EACH ONE!!! And who keep re-adjusting the fabric as you're trying to cut.

I worked at Joann's too. I feel your pain. You need to sew yourself a voodoo doll and keep it under the counter

[BigBird]

Me thinks it's probably a good thing that she didn't make the dress, as she likely would have killed herself trying to using the sewing machine.

[Threesidedorchid]

WOW.
that woman is dumber than catsh*t.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

My guess is she's one of those people who wanted to "make something herself" for a special gift for someone.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

dear god just go buy a dress if you are that dumb.

She may not be allowed in any clothing store within a 10 mile radius and that's the only way she can get a new dress.

It's hard to imagine why . . . she's such a lovely person and all.

[gremcint]

dear god just go buy a dress if you are that dumb.

[Amina516]

What a dipshit?!?

I really wonder why the hell she went in the first place when she had A) no idea of what she was doing B) didnt want to do it anyways.

[flutes_and_fabric]

Ok, a little background. I work at a Jo-ann fabrics. So, like always I'm the only one working at the store. It's the off season so it's not too busy but cutting fabric, working the register and stocking can keep a girl busy. I had a line at the register when this lady walks up.

SC: Hey, hey, hey (she snaps her fingers in my face. I glance up) Show me where the patterns are.
Me: They're right back there. (I point to the big neon red sign that says patterns, perfectly visible from where we are)
SC: How Rude, show me where the patterns are.
Me: Miss, I think it would be even ruder for me to leave these people who have been waiting patiently. They're.in.the.back (Yeah, I treated her like an idiot. I hate rude people, I'm the only one working, and I'm tired. Her royal highness huffs off only to return minutes later)

SC: Where are the dresses?
Me: You have to look through the catalog. They're filed based on when the patten comes out, otherwise the pattern numbers would be constantly changing. (A pretty good explanation, right?)
SC: YOU MEAN I HAVE TO READ!
Me: None of the other customers are complaining. We have a table in the back with the books, and coffee is provided. Please help yourself.

She comes up an hour later, very confused by how the catalogs are set up. Apparently she doesn't get why there're multiple books for different brands. I relate it to video games. Would you look in a playstation book for an xbox game? Wrong analogy. How about magazines? So I ask her if she knows why vogue and Elle are two different magazines? She comes back with a bitchy: They're two different companies, duh. Yeah, duh.

SC finally buys her pattern and leaves. Only to return a few hours later, completely pissed. She screamed at me, something about a scam.
SC: What are you trying to pull?
Me: Ma'am? I'm sorry? (Looks at the line of customers she cut in front of)
After some inaudible screaming I got the gist of her rant. Apparently she thought the pattern would come with the fabric and notions and thread and stuff...How the hell is that all gonna fit in the little 4" x 7" x 1/2" packet!
Me: The pattern is just a pattern. Please calm down and step out of line. I'll help you after I finish with these poor people who had to sit through your tantrum.
SC: This is ridiculous, where the hell am I supposed to find fabric!

Yeah, my face met the counter top...repeatedly.
Me: Sorry ma'am, I can't help you.

Eventually she wandered into the fabric section. Asked me to pick out her fabric. I explained I couln't read minds and didn't know what she liked. She didn't know how to read the pattern. Big surprise. She wanted me to cut the fabric out for her. I said sure, only to realize she actually wanted me to cut the pattern pieces out for her...No. What next, did she want me to go to her house and sew for her? Actually, she did. Not me, but she wanted me to give her the name of someone. And then she threw another tantrum about the price of fabric.

Apparently she came back a week later trying to return everything. We couldn't take any of it back because the notions had all been open and used, the pattern and fabric had been cut, and the thread had obviously been used.