"Respectful" complaint letter LANGUAGE WARNING

[tropicsgoddess]

Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure we could fire up the CS Bus, get a posse together...and hunt his ass down

Shotgun! and I'll have the and ready and waiting for his ass!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Well, since the employee in question is the boss' sister in law, I'm fairly sure he'll be forwarding the threatening letter off to the police.

Works for me, apparently the guy has a good lawyer.

[Stryker One]

I think death by tea cup is a little more poetic... (brownie points if you get it) I'll be out scouting some abandoned areas...just let me know when to show up with the truck....

Riddick! Now where's ma cookie and ma dollar?

[Ironclad Alibi]

seriously, that guy has some major issues that need to be dealt with by professionals.

Yes, you are right, but unless someone has mob connections, I imagine it would be tough to hire a professional hit man to go after him. So hard to find good help these days.

It all depends on which professionals you hire. I recall reading many postings about the disgusting homeless that hang out at libraries*. Hire a few of them to keep him company when he comes in. He might find another place to use a computer.

* The type of location was not mentioned, but libraries can be useful resources for many things.

[Andara Bledin]

I think death by tea cup is a little more poetic... (brownie points if you get it) I'll be out scouting some abandoned areas...just let me know when to show up with the truck....

Oh, hey, and if you get spotted with the tea cup later on, you could just say you're following a fashion trend pioneered by Lady Gaga!

^-.-^

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Speak for yourself, I'll be out the back blunting my spoon...

Forgive me, but what is "blunting the spoon?"

[Skeksin]

Kevin Costner's Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.

Robin just has run through the sherriff's place causing havoc and is escaping through a bell tower or somesuch. Sherriff (played by Alan Rickman) screams up "Locksley I'm going to cut your hear out with a spoon!"
Later as the Sherriff is getting his face stitched up his cousin is standing around and asks "why a spoon cousin? Why not a knife or an axe or..."
Sherriff interrupts "because it's dull you twit it'll hurt more!!!"

and if you blunt the edge of a spoon even further.......

[jjllbb]

I bet if HE were the one who'd lost his wallet he'd demand the entire building put on lockdown and everyone inside strip searched. People are evil filthy liars and bags must be searched even if you claim you never saw the items.

I hope you kept that letter in case he, by miracle, actually has a lawyer. That "I am very seriously interested in having a very big piece out of her" line sounds like a threat to me.

I wonder what's going to happen? In my store we once had a guest claim my assistant manager "lunged" at her. My store manager actually watched the confrontation and knows no such thing occurred but she STILL gave them a $25 gift card to "diffuse the situation"

F**KING SC's.

[MoonChild2007]

So, did you ever find out the female employee's side of the story? Judging from the guy's harsh letter, he probably was very rude to her.

I'll cheerfully give your lawyer a written agreement not to sue you. I am NOT interested in shaking you down for money,

When you sue somebody, you obviosuly want money, what a moron.

[xlr82xs]

She was quite freaked out, got some of our larger regular customers to hang around on her next shift incase he came back and caused trouble.

[WhiteRose]

Does she know kung-shoe? she can just beat him up and when the police come she can show them the letter and claim he 'tried molesting her and she was afraid' (legitimate defense)...

^ bonus points if anyone gets the kung-shoe reference...if not, ask! 'sgood...

[ApolloSZ]

Friend help you move, good friends help you move bodies.

Friends bail you out of jail. GOOD friends are sitting next to you saying "damn that was fun"

[crazylegs]

Forgive me, but what is "blunting the spoon?"

*must resist evil urge for silly tale...*

<Mr. Snippy> "because it's dull you twit it'll hurt more!!!"

and if you blunt the edge of a spoon even further.......

That'll be why!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Friends bail you out of jail. GOOD friends are sitting next to you saying "damn that was fun"

Sounds similar to a Jeff Foxworthy routine . . .a real friend would be sitting on the cot next to you, smoking a Marlboro and going "She didn't look like no cop, did she?"

[Bradester]

The fact that he took the time to leave the premises, put his ramblings, insults and threats into a signed letter, then actually pay the postage to send that letter tells me that this guy has more than a few demons kicking around in his head. Not to mention a disturbing level of hatred for women. Good idea to send it to the police.