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The deluge continues... (language, long, a touch ranty)
Wow- posting 3 days in a row.
You know, before I vent today's suck, I must point out that when I started in this job I really loved it. I was there to help people. I didn't have to sell anything. Untangling people's tech issues is like solving a puzzle. Most people were really nice, the suck was average and outweighed by the good ones...
WTF Happened?
Again, first call of the day...
Me- Phone Martyr
FL- Fake lawyer
Me- <opening speil> <requests details>
FL- <Gives details> <Gives a name that is nothing like the name on the account>
Me- (Uh-oh. That's a Data Protection no no. About to start in on the Data Protection business when FL doesn't give me a chance)
FL- You know, this is all really irrelevant. I'd like to be put through to a supervisor now to complain please.
Me- Ok. May I ask what seems to be going on?
FL- Well, one of you people booked me an engineer yesterday, but they were supposed to come tomorrow, and they called me and said they HAVE to come today, and now I have to wait in today and miss my son's sports day at school. Put me through now, please.
Me- I will see if there is a manager available. One moment please.
FYI- Our managers never take calls.
Me- (Speaks with manager, since the name isn't correct on the account we can't discuss the case with her. She can put her complaint in writing)
Me- Thank you so much for holding. I've been advised by my supervisor that they are unable to take the call as we do not have a case to discuss with you. I'm sorry, but as the name on the account does not match the name you have given me. For data protection, I cannot access the account. You may still put your complaint in writing.
FL- Well, that's not good enough now is it. It's only the wrong name because one of you people is a racist and couldn't understand how to spell <ethnic name> and wrote it down all wrong. How is that my fault? I've had enough of this and I am really about to lose it. Put me through to a supervisor now please.
Me- I can try again. Hold please.
Manager tells me same exact thing. Suggests I create a new account for her.
Me- Thanks again for holding. My supervisor is unable to discuss the case for data protection purposes. The options remain that you may put your complaint in writing, or I can create a new account for you and see about helping you in that way, but we are unable to discuss the case on file because it is not your name on the account.
FL- Oh, so I would just know the address and all the other details, but that idiot racist colleague of yours can't be bothered to put my name down right? All your calls are recorded, I want them to listen to that call and when they see what a racist he is I hope he is fired.
Me- Again, you may put your complaint in writing or I can create a new account for you now.
FL- Well, FINE. When my son is crying because I missed his sports day, know that it is your fault. You know, what if I just say my name is <completely different name on the account>, can we talk about it then? Would it then be ok for data protection? *last two words said with heaps of sarcasm*
Me- I'm afraid it doesn't work that way ma'am.
FL- Well, you better believe I will be sending you the bill when from the engineers!!!
Me- If you had a repair booked under warranty, it would be free of charge.
FL- Free of CHARGE!?!?! Well, is MY TIME free of charge?!?! Will you be paying me the £162 an hour solicitors fees for MY TIME?
Me- I am afraid compensation is out of scope for this department. I am a tech- I do troubleshooting and repair booking. You may put a complaint in writing, you may discuss any compensation request with customer services, or I can create a new account for you and see about helping you right now.
FL- You haven't heard the last of this! I can't BELIEVE you bunch of ingrateful racists. I hope your company folds, and it will if this is how you treat customers. *click*
Argh. What boggles the mind is how an actualy *lawyer* would be so ignorant about data protection. Sorry, lady, it's the LAW and it prevents fraud.
Which brings me right into round 2, which pisses me off more than raving lunatics and is far too common...
Me- I want a cigarette
IATT- I already tried that, will become clear momentarily.
Me- <opening speil>
IATT- Yeah, I have a DVD player and it doesn't work.
Me- Ok, I can help you with that. First, could you describe in what way it isn't working?
IATT- It isn't working!!!!11!!!
Me- I understand that. Could you be more specific, for example, what is it doing, or not doing, now that is different from before?
IATT- <explains symptoms of a faulty remote control screwing with a DVD player>
Me- Ah ha! Thank you, I think I know what may be causing the issue. Can you please take the batteries out of all of the remote controls in the room and try to operate the DVD player using the buttons on the machine?
IATT- What?!?! God, I TRIED THAT ALREADY! I put NEW BATTERIES IN THIS MORNING!!!!! *actually shouting*
Me- That was a good thing to try. But in this case, I want you to take the batteries out and leave them out completely.
IATT- God, fine, ok they're out.
Me- Ok, and can you try pressing the buttons on the unit to see how it behaves?
IATT- Why are you telling me to do this??? I TRIED THAT ALREADY!
Me- Ma'am, by doing this you will help me see what we need to do to make your DVD player work again.
IATT- Fine, Jesus. *exagerrated clicking in the back ground* Ohhh.... I'm pressing the buttons JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME and NOTHING IS DIFFERENT. Are you deaf? I TRIED THAT ALLLLLLREADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYY!!!
Me- (Loses it) Fine, ma'am. Without troubleshooting, I cannot diagnose a fault. If you aren't happy to continue, please go to store and discuss it with them there. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
IATT- *stunned* Uh, well, no, I don't...
Me- Thank you for calling *click*
WTF People? What is the damn point of calling tech support if you don't want any help? I don't care if you are new to technology, half deaf, really struggling- if you are willing to stick in there and try, I will go out of my way for you. I will say f**k my average call time, because I genuinely do want your stuff to work.
But if you are going to be such a bastard and decide to call tech support when you are already convinced in your own little world that you know everything, well, f**k you. I hope your shit stays broken and they don't replace it. These are the worst types by far, and they make my blood just boil.
Blarggle. There were more but I need a cool one before I try to remember any more.
You know, before I vent today's suck, I must point out that when I started in this job I really loved it. I was there to help people. I didn't have to sell anything. Untangling people's tech issues is like solving a puzzle. Most people were really nice, the suck was average and outweighed by the good ones...
WTF Happened?
Again, first call of the day...
Me- Phone Martyr
FL- Fake lawyer
Me- <opening speil> <requests details>
FL- <Gives details> <Gives a name that is nothing like the name on the account>
Me- (Uh-oh. That's a Data Protection no no. About to start in on the Data Protection business when FL doesn't give me a chance)
FL- You know, this is all really irrelevant. I'd like to be put through to a supervisor now to complain please.
Me- Ok. May I ask what seems to be going on?
FL- Well, one of you people booked me an engineer yesterday, but they were supposed to come tomorrow, and they called me and said they HAVE to come today, and now I have to wait in today and miss my son's sports day at school. Put me through now, please.
Me- I will see if there is a manager available. One moment please.
FYI- Our managers never take calls.
Me- (Speaks with manager, since the name isn't correct on the account we can't discuss the case with her. She can put her complaint in writing)
Me- Thank you so much for holding. I've been advised by my supervisor that they are unable to take the call as we do not have a case to discuss with you. I'm sorry, but as the name on the account does not match the name you have given me. For data protection, I cannot access the account. You may still put your complaint in writing.
FL- Well, that's not good enough now is it. It's only the wrong name because one of you people is a racist and couldn't understand how to spell <ethnic name> and wrote it down all wrong. How is that my fault? I've had enough of this and I am really about to lose it. Put me through to a supervisor now please.
Me- I can try again. Hold please.
Manager tells me same exact thing. Suggests I create a new account for her.
Me- Thanks again for holding. My supervisor is unable to discuss the case for data protection purposes. The options remain that you may put your complaint in writing, or I can create a new account for you and see about helping you in that way, but we are unable to discuss the case on file because it is not your name on the account.
FL- Oh, so I would just know the address and all the other details, but that idiot racist colleague of yours can't be bothered to put my name down right? All your calls are recorded, I want them to listen to that call and when they see what a racist he is I hope he is fired.
Me- Again, you may put your complaint in writing or I can create a new account for you now.
FL- Well, FINE. When my son is crying because I missed his sports day, know that it is your fault. You know, what if I just say my name is <completely different name on the account>, can we talk about it then? Would it then be ok for data protection? *last two words said with heaps of sarcasm*
Me- I'm afraid it doesn't work that way ma'am.
FL- Well, you better believe I will be sending you the bill when from the engineers!!!
Me- If you had a repair booked under warranty, it would be free of charge.
FL- Free of CHARGE!?!?! Well, is MY TIME free of charge?!?! Will you be paying me the £162 an hour solicitors fees for MY TIME?
Me- I am afraid compensation is out of scope for this department. I am a tech- I do troubleshooting and repair booking. You may put a complaint in writing, you may discuss any compensation request with customer services, or I can create a new account for you and see about helping you right now.
FL- You haven't heard the last of this! I can't BELIEVE you bunch of ingrateful racists. I hope your company folds, and it will if this is how you treat customers. *click*
Argh. What boggles the mind is how an actualy *lawyer* would be so ignorant about data protection. Sorry, lady, it's the LAW and it prevents fraud.
Which brings me right into round 2, which pisses me off more than raving lunatics and is far too common...
Me- I want a cigarette
IATT- I already tried that, will become clear momentarily.
Me- <opening speil>
IATT- Yeah, I have a DVD player and it doesn't work.
Me- Ok, I can help you with that. First, could you describe in what way it isn't working?
IATT- It isn't working!!!!11!!!
Me- I understand that. Could you be more specific, for example, what is it doing, or not doing, now that is different from before?
IATT- <explains symptoms of a faulty remote control screwing with a DVD player>
Me- Ah ha! Thank you, I think I know what may be causing the issue. Can you please take the batteries out of all of the remote controls in the room and try to operate the DVD player using the buttons on the machine?
IATT- What?!?! God, I TRIED THAT ALREADY! I put NEW BATTERIES IN THIS MORNING!!!!! *actually shouting*
Me- That was a good thing to try. But in this case, I want you to take the batteries out and leave them out completely.
IATT- God, fine, ok they're out.
Me- Ok, and can you try pressing the buttons on the unit to see how it behaves?
IATT- Why are you telling me to do this??? I TRIED THAT ALREADY!
Me- Ma'am, by doing this you will help me see what we need to do to make your DVD player work again.
IATT- Fine, Jesus. *exagerrated clicking in the back ground* Ohhh.... I'm pressing the buttons JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME and NOTHING IS DIFFERENT. Are you deaf? I TRIED THAT ALLLLLLREADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYY!!!
Me- (Loses it) Fine, ma'am. Without troubleshooting, I cannot diagnose a fault. If you aren't happy to continue, please go to store and discuss it with them there. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
IATT- *stunned* Uh, well, no, I don't...
Me- Thank you for calling *click*
WTF People? What is the damn point of calling tech support if you don't want any help? I don't care if you are new to technology, half deaf, really struggling- if you are willing to stick in there and try, I will go out of my way for you. I will say f**k my average call time, because I genuinely do want your stuff to work.
But if you are going to be such a bastard and decide to call tech support when you are already convinced in your own little world that you know everything, well, f**k you. I hope your shit stays broken and they don't replace it. These are the worst types by far, and they make my blood just boil.
Blarggle. There were more but I need a cool one before I try to remember any more.
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