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Hello again all! Been a while, hasn't it? However, I have a little saga that I feel needs to be shared.
My primary task as a Billing representative of Blizzard Entertainment is dealing with people whose accounts are compromised. We do get a variety of other calls, but the vast majority are from someone who's been hacked and needs to get things straightened out. Without further ado...the most memorable story I have to date!
It begins...
and rather well! The caller is polite, perky, and a little embarrassed that their account was hacked. I bring it up...and Houston, we have a problem. Account's not in their name.
Now, this can mean any number of things. Best case scenario, they created it in a random name, not wanting their information on the 'net. Understandable, if I didn't know it's about as easy to crack our site as it is to crack a bank. And if THAT's easy, please don't tell me, I'll sleep much easier that way.
Second possible scenario is they have a friend who stopped playing and "gave" them the account. Awful nice gesture of your friend, but it's still his/hers. Once the account is created, it's theirs for keeps. Give them a call and pray they like you enough to recover the account.
Worst case scenario is that they bought the account online. At which point I apologize, tell them to try to get a refund from whoever they bought it from, and contact those who wield the might of the BANhammer*.
(*Not an actual hammer. I was rather disappointed
)
Now, I assume you all can guess what this situation was. It would hardly merit a post if it wasn't the worst case scenario, now would it? Needless to say, things go downhill from there. I've (thankfully) erased most of that call from my mind, but I will say this: I'll be grateful if no one else goes through the stages of grief while on the phone with me again. Not crossing my fingers on that, though.
Denial: "What are you talking about? It's my account!"
Me: Sorry, it still belongs to the person who first owned it.
Anger: "Give me my account back! NOW!"
Me: I'm VERY sorry, but it still belongs to the person who sold it to you.
Bargaining: "Please? I'll do anything! Please, I'll pay you!"
Me: Sorry, can't do that. I can help you with an account in your name though...
Depression: *crying* "Please, I need it back! I've worked on it for years!"
Me: I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that.**
(**I WISH I could pull that off on a call :P)
Acceptance: *sniffling* "Is there ANYTHING you can do for me?"
Me: Do you have an account in YOUR name?
Finally! A ray of sunshine! They do! Haven't used it in forever, of course; but there's something I can do. Find the account, restore access, get approved to even add some time on the account (I'm not entirely heartless...getting there, mind), and even go above and beyond and talk to the GMs to get some characters that had been deleted (TWO FARKING YEARS AGO) back. They're still upset about losing the main character, but this is a hell of a lot better than nothing. The call finally ends on a relatively positive note, extremely rare for calls of this nature.
But no, our saga is not yet complete! I had provided the caller with my work email to make sure the characters got back on the account, or if there was anything else I could help with. I then get an email from them out of the blue, stating something to this effect:
"I am very disappointed in the service I received from both you and Blizzard. If you do not get me at least my main character back, I WILL take legal action, and will take this situation to the CEO if I need to!"
I honestly didn't know how to react at first. First it was surprise that they were even ASKING after the call.
Then it was sheer, burning
RAGE
that this 
thought I'd done something wrong. I'd done waaay more for them than I normally would ever do for a someone who'd been foolish enough to buy an account in the first place, and this is the thanks I get!?
Then, finally, reality set in. Time to poke holes in this!
1)The service thing....well, I think I stated my opinions up above.
2)Terms of Use CLEARLY state why you don't buy accounts. Pops up every damn time there's a patch, you have to read through it to actually open the game! If they actually DO bring it to an attorney, they'll be lucky to find one that won't laugh them out of the office.
3)...Why the hell do they think contacting the CEO would do anything? You broke the terms of service, and were told clearly why by support, who upheld the policy and rules. Game. OVER.
4)It's MUCH more satisfying to call their bluff and go on with your day than to let it eat at you.
My reply (roughly): I'm very sorry you feel that way, but our policy on account sales and transfers is clearly outlined here: *insert Terms of Use url*
Here is the mailing address for the corporate office if you wish to contact them about this issue: *insert PO box*
I apologize for the difficulty you've experienced, but I do hope you're still able to enjoy the account we recovered during our previous conversation. Have a good day!
And thus concludes my saga. Hope you enjoyed!
My primary task as a Billing representative of Blizzard Entertainment is dealing with people whose accounts are compromised. We do get a variety of other calls, but the vast majority are from someone who's been hacked and needs to get things straightened out. Without further ado...the most memorable story I have to date!
It begins...
and rather well! The caller is polite, perky, and a little embarrassed that their account was hacked. I bring it up...and Houston, we have a problem. Account's not in their name.
Now, this can mean any number of things. Best case scenario, they created it in a random name, not wanting their information on the 'net. Understandable, if I didn't know it's about as easy to crack our site as it is to crack a bank. And if THAT's easy, please don't tell me, I'll sleep much easier that way.
Second possible scenario is they have a friend who stopped playing and "gave" them the account. Awful nice gesture of your friend, but it's still his/hers. Once the account is created, it's theirs for keeps. Give them a call and pray they like you enough to recover the account.
Worst case scenario is that they bought the account online. At which point I apologize, tell them to try to get a refund from whoever they bought it from, and contact those who wield the might of the BANhammer*.
(*Not an actual hammer. I was rather disappointed
)Now, I assume you all can guess what this situation was. It would hardly merit a post if it wasn't the worst case scenario, now would it? Needless to say, things go downhill from there. I've (thankfully) erased most of that call from my mind, but I will say this: I'll be grateful if no one else goes through the stages of grief while on the phone with me again. Not crossing my fingers on that, though.
Denial: "What are you talking about? It's my account!"
Me: Sorry, it still belongs to the person who first owned it.
Anger: "Give me my account back! NOW!"
Me: I'm VERY sorry, but it still belongs to the person who sold it to you.
Bargaining: "Please? I'll do anything! Please, I'll pay you!"
Me: Sorry, can't do that. I can help you with an account in your name though...
Depression: *crying* "Please, I need it back! I've worked on it for years!"
Me: I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that.**
(**I WISH I could pull that off on a call :P)
Acceptance: *sniffling* "Is there ANYTHING you can do for me?"
Me: Do you have an account in YOUR name?
Finally! A ray of sunshine! They do! Haven't used it in forever, of course; but there's something I can do. Find the account, restore access, get approved to even add some time on the account (I'm not entirely heartless...getting there, mind), and even go above and beyond and talk to the GMs to get some characters that had been deleted (TWO FARKING YEARS AGO) back. They're still upset about losing the main character, but this is a hell of a lot better than nothing. The call finally ends on a relatively positive note, extremely rare for calls of this nature.
But no, our saga is not yet complete! I had provided the caller with my work email to make sure the characters got back on the account, or if there was anything else I could help with. I then get an email from them out of the blue, stating something to this effect:
"I am very disappointed in the service I received from both you and Blizzard. If you do not get me at least my main character back, I WILL take legal action, and will take this situation to the CEO if I need to!"
I honestly didn't know how to react at first. First it was surprise that they were even ASKING after the call.
Then it was sheer, burning
RAGE that this thought I'd done something wrong. I'd done waaay more for them than I normally would ever do for a someone who'd been foolish enough to buy an account in the first place, and this is the thanks I get!?Then, finally, reality set in. Time to poke holes in this!
1)The service thing....well, I think I stated my opinions up above.
2)Terms of Use CLEARLY state why you don't buy accounts. Pops up every damn time there's a patch, you have to read through it to actually open the game! If they actually DO bring it to an attorney, they'll be lucky to find one that won't laugh them out of the office.
3)...Why the hell do they think contacting the CEO would do anything? You broke the terms of service, and were told clearly why by support, who upheld the policy and rules. Game. OVER.
4)It's MUCH more satisfying to call their bluff and go on with your day than to let it eat at you.
My reply (roughly): I'm very sorry you feel that way, but our policy on account sales and transfers is clearly outlined here: *insert Terms of Use url*
Here is the mailing address for the corporate office if you wish to contact them about this issue: *insert PO box*
I apologize for the difficulty you've experienced, but I do hope you're still able to enjoy the account we recovered during our previous conversation. Have a good day!
And thus concludes my saga. Hope you enjoyed!
.
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