That was rather blatant...

[edible_hat]

some kind of missionary: "Hi, we're out targetting people like you who aren't home when we come trying to convert people."

Now with that opening line, you'd think he's making fun of door-to-door religion salesmen. But the pamphlets he left behind are the genuine article.

[ralerin]

Hm. Wow, even the people who pass me religious pamphlets aren't quite that blatant.

*grin* I've collected all of the pamphlets I get at work and I read them just because I find them fascinating. I'm not tempted to convert, though.

[Fufu487]

Ive always been really open to other religions and peoples beliefs. But I hate being bothered at home to convert my religion. Im never rude, just so that's said. But I will turn the conversation around and start trying to convert them to MY beliefs. It ususally gets the message across fairly quickly. Not so enjoyable when the shoes on the other foot, hmmm?

[jjllbb]

That reminds me of a time when I was in high school working in this major retail store.

I got this family a really good sale on some clothes or something and they were really happy.

So after I cash them out at the register the mother says to me

Mother: "We would like to give you something for all of your wonderful help"

And she gestured for her daughter to bring something over.

Here I was thinking it was a tip.

But the little girl walked over and handed me a little pamphlet about being saved.

I thanked her (because c'mon, they got a little girl to hand it to me so i couldn't turn her away with it) and just went on my confused way.

It was the joke of the department for the rest of the summer that i was the only one there good enough to be saved. Everyone else was going to hell apparently.

[Broomjockey]

Ugh. I came home to my apartment a few days ago, and someone had slipped a religious pamphlet under my door. Just to be clear, you can't get to my door unless someone lets you in, or you live there. So either someone who lives here did it, or they tricked their way in. But I find slipping it under my door incredibly invasive. Call me weird. Especially since if I had been home, I'd have politely informed them they were trespassing. And I do mean politely.

[SailorMan]

Back in the 80s, when The 700 Club was a popular show on the Christian Broadcasting Network, I had a neighbor who shared this little gem with me.

He answered his door and, when he saw who was there, he knew from their attire and the stack of pamphlets they carried what they wanted. In a flash, he came up with a little bit of inspiration, and before they could say anything to him, he said to them: "I'm sorry, but I don't have time for anything right now. My favorite show is on the Adultery Channel -- The 666 Club."

He assured me that it was great entertainment to watch their hopeful smiles fade into a look of confusion, and then gradually slide into horror when their brains finally processed what he'd said.

I found it to be maybe a little mean-spirited (I myself wouldn't have the heart to do that). But yeah, I guess it is kind of funny.




Hunhhh. My 100th post. Woo-hoo!

[fireheart]

at home, we do the "nobody's home" act. Basically, if someone rings the bell, we mute the TV (we don't have it loud anyway), hide away from the passage and just stay where we are until they leave. They usually get the message after the second ring and leave the pamphlets under the mat. THey get soggy from the rain.

at work...any pamphlets go straight into the trashcan.

[edible_hat]

In a flash, he came up with a little bit of inspiration, and before they could say anything to him, he said to them: "I'm sorry, but I don't have time for anything right now. My favorite show is on the Adultery Channel -- The 666 Club."

Reminds me of my mum's cousin. He had somebody knock on the door just as he was getting out of the shower. So he answered the door wearing only a towel. When he saw it was missionaries, he just let the towel drop.

[EricKei]

Sounds like the Robin Williams bit from a few years back...(note: done as standup, no visual aids...thank goodness >_>)

Missionary: Have you Found Jesus?

Williams' character -- nekkid: Nope! Hey, why don't you come in and help me find him? c'mon!

[Victoria J]

I got bothered by someone while trying to get cash from the bank machine.

I have been known to actually argue with them, or be deliberately awkward, but I wasn't in the mood. If they'd syopped me while I was walking past I wouldn't even have objected. I do however object to being bothered when I'm in a queue and can't escape.

So I was cold, which in my case is pretty icy. (I mean people think I'm being cold when I'm being friendly ).

Unfortunately I don't think the person concerned was really cut out for public prosletysing and it went pretty much like this :

Them : Do you believe in Jesus our saviour ?
Me : No*
Them : You must believe in Jesus to be saved
Me : Please leave me alone
THem : Do you want to go to hell ?
Me : Please stop harrassing me
Them : ! Well, well....Well Jesus doesn't believe in you !


I'm strangely hurt. But also feel a bit special.

Also mystified because I always thought the belief was kind of a one way thing.

I also now tell anyone else trying to convert me that there's no point as Jeus doesn't believe in me.

On the other hand I was in the park the other Sunday and there was a church group out putting on a free concert with their choir and politely handing out leaflets. No problem with that. And you can do a lot worse than making a joyous noise, I never understand the miserable churches.

*My actual opinions are more complex than this. I'm not exactly a believer though.

Victoria J

[Automan Empire]

I like the line I learned from these Goth folks once. Sitting in an otherwise quiet restaraunt, there was a table with an older preacher and his wife I gathered, and a young, gung-ho preacher fresh out of training and ready to take on his first flock. He was bubbling over with enthusiasm, and talking a little too loud and excitedly about God this and Jesus that, not quite sucky, just overly excited. His table companions spoke in polite, muted tones.

Finally, their food arrived and it became quiet all of a sudden. Someone at a table of Goths said loudly to no one in particular, "Well.... Bestiality is much better...." I almost spit water.

I find it a good response, though, when faced with aggressive prosyletizing.

[raw456]

I had 2 mormon guys knock a few weeks back. I politely informed them I was not interested. They asked me if I knew of anyone else in the street who would be interested in hearing the word. I informed them that this is a predominantly muslim suburb. The poor lads, they didnt know what to think.

Also - years ago a couple of JW came to my dads place. He spoke to them for about an hour. 3 days later they came back to talk to him again as he had pretty much converted them to his religion. My dad beleives passionately in aliens - priceless

[Jay 2K Winger]

My friend Tom had the best response to the Jehovah's Witnesses that came by his house once.

He stood there and stared off into space during a moment of silence in their prosyletizing, then blinked and looked at them, smiling, "Okay, Satan's done talking to me now, what were you saying?"

[jess_hawk]

I had a woman come up to me while I was assembling a grill at work.

SC: "Have you been saved?"

Me: "Yes." (I'm Catholic, and I find that pointing out that I'm already a believer is actually pretty effective... even though I'm not a Bible-thumper)

SC: *pauses* "Oh, well in that case, would you like to take some of these pamphlets from my church to use in sharing the Good News?"

Me: "Umm, no."

First of all, don't try to convert me. Secondly, if you do, do it while I'm NOT working. For some reason I found it even more invasive than when I am at home. Maybe because at home I have the option of shutting the door on people. THIRDLY, once you find out that yes, I believe in Jesus, DO NOT TRY TO GET ME TO CONVERT PEOPLE TO YOUR CHURCH! I don't go around pushing my own church on people, why would I do it for yours!?

My new responses for the question, "Have you found Jesus?"
"Yes, and he was delicious." (I figure I can use this one without being as evil as I sound, because being Catholic, we believe the Eucharist is truly the Body and Blood of Christ... Also, I named one of my cousin's cattle Jesus for this purpose.)

"Oh my GOD, you LOST Him!? I can't leave him ANYWHERE!"

"No, but He found me."

[Nohbody]

I got this family a really good sale on some clothes or something and they were really happy.

So after I cash them out at the register the mother says to me

Mother: "We would like to give you something for all of your wonderful help"

And she gestured for her daughter to bring something over.

Here I was thinking it was a tip.

But the little girl walked over and handed me a little pamphlet about being saved.

Back when I was delivering pizzas, I had a preacher at one of the local-ish Southern Baptist churches give me one of those little 3" mini CDs, with his church's pitch video thingy. He wasn't pushy or anything about it, and did give a fairly generous money tip along with it, so I didn't make a fuss, and just carried on.

Somewhere in this warzone I laughingly call a room, I still have that disc, having never taken it out of the little plastic sleeve it was stored in. The label, at least, looked like a professional job, not just a CDR with a title scrawled on with a Sharpie.

It was the joke of the department for the rest of the summer that i was the only one there good enough to be saved. Everyone else was going to hell apparently.