This is NOT my best day ever.

[Kali]

Strawberries for reference ^_^

Some of these are old, but the last 2 are from today, and in my scramble to write them down I realised I already had a notepad file on my desktop full of stories to post that I had forgotten about! Enjoy.

Axolotl Dundee

SC comes in and goes to have a look in the aquarium section, then promptly runs (yes, runs) back out to the counter, exclaiming:

SC: IS THAT A CROCODILE??
Me: ... sorry?
SC: You have a CROCODILE in there?? it has LEGS!!~
Me: you mean the axolotl?

I'd just like to demonstrate to everyone... this is an axolotl, and this is a crocodile.

SC: Oh, is that what it is? (not at all embarrassed that she made this astronomical misidentification, but surprised that it in fact was NOT a crocodile sitting in the 1 foot fish tank)
Me: Yep.. also known as a Mexican Walking Fish
SC: Awwww.

An easy mistake to make. Why, just the other day I tried to pat an 'axolotl' at the zoo and now I am typing with one arm.


Turtle paint

I've had some strange requests in my time here at the pet shop, (Cat trap, puppy 'head', fish toys to name a few), but this one takes the proverbial cake..

SC: Do you have any turtle paint? (Said as though he were asking for something as common as fish food)
Me: Turtle..... paint?
SC: Yeah. Y'know, to paint the shell with.
Me: I....
SC: For when it's peeling off? (Getting condescending)
Me: I've never heard of it to be honest.. Let me just have a quick look in my reptile supplier's catalogue?
SC: OK, thanks.

The search of course was fruitless (I mean.. TURTLE PAINT?), but before I had the chance to tell the SC the bad news, I heard the doorbell go as he left.

The cake is a lie

Dude. You're NOT my nemesis.

This was at easter time when of course the trading hours are all different, so I had the easter trading hours written on the chalkboard I have by the front door.

Little did I realise, however, that said chalkboard was about to face a formidable enemy. Had I known that my nemesis was a mere 24 hours from rubbing out ONLY the time "1.00pm" from the "Saturday" line... well, I don't know what I would have done, as there is clearly no way to avoid such evil mastery.

Clearly this was a warning and I'd better figure out what exactly I have done to displease this villain and rectify it immediately, for I can only assume that next time it will be the WHOLE BOARD. God help me.


Sick discus

This one was on the phone:

Me: <phone greeting>
SC: Oh hi... I've got a discus here... it's sick. (A discus is a tropical fish)
Me: Oh, that's no good...
SC: Yeah. I was just wondering If I could come up there and swap it for one that isn't sick?
Me: Uh... you want to give me the sick discus and take a healthy one?
SC: Yeah, coz I don't want the sick one.
Me: Neither do I..
SC: Oh
Me: Do you know what's wrong with it? I could certainly try and help you get it better
SC: It's got little white dots all over it (Ah, the dreaded white spot. Not only would transporting a discus with white spot probably kill it as they are very sensitive, but white spot is extremely infectious and would infect every other fish in the tank I put it in, plus probably the rest of the aquarium)
Me: Ah, that's white spot. I've got medication you could use to get rid of it here, and I'd try turning your heat-
SC: So I can't just bring it up there?
Me: Well.. what am I going to do with a sick fish I can't sell?
SC: Oh, right. OK, thanks anyway *click*

This does not bode well for that poor discus, methinks


Personal Responsibility

SC: Don't you have any 1kg small parrot seed left?
Me: No, sorry, only the 5kg bags until tomorrow.
SC: Well... I guess my bird will just have to STARVE!
Me: Uh.. there IS the 5kg there
SC: No, that costs too much. Well, I haven't got a choice, have I, I'll have to wait until tomorrow and the bird will have to STARVE! *expectant look*
Me: DINGDINGDINGDINGDING! (Lights and alarms go off and streamers pour from the ceiling) Congratulations sir! You have asserted your guilt trip more than once in one conversation, and have thus broken down my steely exterior and persuaded me to retrieve you what you wanted from the Unlimited Supply of Everything Dispenser (or USED™) that I have under the counter, just in case someone is as wiley and persistent as YOU! *Pulls out bag of seed*

Yeah, I might have made that last bit up.

I settled for simply reminding the customer that his failure to plan ahead does not constitute magical abilities on my part.



Moar on the way~

[prb]

The cake is a lie

Pocky for the reference? I also accept Super Lemon, Ramume Soda and Asahi Super Dry.

[Gaki]

I wish I worked at a pet store...I have many fishies (except I just lost my molly to dropsy and one of my guppies mysteriously developed some fin rot but the rest are just peachy!). Working at a pet store would be wicked, I adore animals...I hate people...but I adore animals.

[Mnemjian]

SC: No, that costs too much. Well, I haven't got a choice, have I, I'll have to wait until tomorrow and the bird will have to STARVE! *expectant look*

Oh, the expectant look! How I hate the expectant look. I'm always tempted to laugh weakly hoping that, yes, they ARE making a really bad joke and are simply waiting for me to laugh at how pseudo-hilarious it is. Unfortunately that is rarely the case.


P.S. Axoloti are soooo cute I didn't know you could own one! I would love one but I bet my cats would try to eat it... ;-;

[ArcticChicken]

Dude. You're NOT my nemesis.

My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer corporate tool.


Thank you, now I know what I should listen too while I alphabetize my books.

[Peppergirl]

Re: "Turtle Paint"

I recall my mom telling me they used to paint the shells of their pet turtles back in the day.

Now before anyone gets in an uproar, she's 68 years old, so this was the late 1940s/early 1950s or so. It was apparently quite the rage back then, though clearly horrifying and (I'd hoped) not in practice anymore.

Was the customer of that generation? Still no excuse, though. My mom was pretty appalled by it looking back even as she told me about it in the late 1970s.

[Kali]

My nemesis is Captain Hammer. Captain Hammer corporate tool.


Thank you, now I know what I should listen too while I alphabetize my books.

lol, yeah I need to watch it myself again, actually. I need my Fillion Fix, and I'm too scared to watch Castle because I'm not sure I want to see Fillion minus Whedon.

[edible_hat]

It was a sad, sad day when the Axolotl Hunter died. Darn clownfish, why did they have to stab him through the toe like that?

[infinitemonkies]

I recall my mom telling me they used to paint the shells of their pet turtles back in the day.

Now before anyone gets in an uproar, she's 68 years old, so this was the late 1940s/early 1950s or so. It was apparently quite the rage back then, though clearly horrifying and (I'd hoped) not in practice anymore.

Is that any different/worse than giving a dog a neon-rainbow dye job? Other than being rediculous I mean, does it harm the animal?

[Sliceanddice]

Axolotl Dundee

SC comes in and goes to have a look in the aquarium section, then promptly runs (yes, runs) back out to the counter, exclaiming:

SC: IS THAT A CROCODILE??
Me: ... sorry?
SC: You have a CROCODILE in there?? it has LEGS!!~
Me: you mean the axolotl?

I'd just like to demonstrate to everyone... this is an axolotl, and this is a crocodile.

SC: Oh, is that what it is? (not at all embarrassed that she made this astronomical misidentification, but surprised that it in fact was NOT a crocodile sitting in the 1 foot fish tank)
Me: Yep.. also known as a Mexican Walking Fish
SC: Awwww.

An easy mistake to make. Why, just the other day I tried to pat an 'axolotl' at the zoo and now I am typing with one arm.

thank you so much for the pic now my sister is berating me for not know what a Mudkip is.

mudkip->

[Kali]

thank you so much for the pic now my sister is berating me for not know what a Mudkip is.

mudkip->

Isn't mudkip a pokemon? lol. I assume you meant to put a link after that arrow?

[tamezin]

I'd just like to demonstrate to everyone... this is an axolotl, and this is a crocodile.

Awesome salamander. Doesn't look much like a croc though. Maybe they were looking at it through a giant magnifying glass. But that still wouldn't explain the lack of claws teeth oh and the existence of gills. I know these do come in multiple colors, was this actually one of the pinkish ones? (becomes even more confused if it was)

I settled for simply reminding the customer that his failure to plan ahead does not constitute magical abilities on my part.

Come on, you know you have magic pixie dust, break it out and sprinkle it on the counter, and it will turn into a 1kg pack of birdseed.

[Sliceanddice]

Isn't mudkip a pokemon? lol. I assume you meant to put a link after that arrow?

but but it was THERE!!! I SWEAR IT WAS!

[Geek King]

Um, I think turtle shells are supposed to flake off over time. It has to do with the growth cycle or somesuch. I've seen them seem to be shedding in the wild, at least.

[Elspeth]

I sent the pic of the axolotl and said we needed one. The answer was NO. Guess his Aunt and Uncle had one that climbed out of the tank and climb upstairs and get into bed with them.

For some reason this is a bad thing in his book.